boyfriend just ended things!!!

[arikata]

Originally Posted by alvinsfamily

My other half was single for 8 years before getting with me and hadnt had many girlfriends when he were younger either. I think hes in cloud cuckoo land as far as relationships are concerned. He thinks if you love someone there should never be any arguements! Ive tried to explain thats just not realistic and even love doesnt stop you annoying one another. He lets thing go over his head but Ive said to him if you want a 'yes dear, no dear' kinda bird then your with the wrong girl!!! I sometimes feel like he wants me to really want him, but not for him to feel it back, cos now Ive backed off he dont like it. For example we never see each other on a sunday cos of footie, and now footie season is over he presumed hed be spending it with me! No way, Im still doing my own thing and Im not changing my plans to be dumped again in couple of months time!!!! GRRRRR!!!! I love him to bits and Im enjoying it while it lasts but I know its not a 'farever' relationship x

omg, snap! My ex was single and living on his own for 8 years when we met. I think it's hard for him to adjust to thinking about someone else as well as himself! I'm the same about the 'yes sir, no sir', I've come from a hectic family life and I can be very stubborn. If Kat thinks something, then Kat sticks to it and won't be a nodding dog to anyone lol!

Arguments are essential to a relationship I think. It's not healthy to bottle it all up (what us brittish are infamous for - stiff upper lip and all) and it all builds up. I would rather have a little argument once a week, get it all off my chest and us both have a laugh about it afterwards than once every few months have a fierce feud and end up storming out on each other. The first time me and Ric had a little spat (he called me the wrong name) he just put his hands up and said "I can't be bothered with this. You can stay at your parents tonight" and I was like 'huh? Get back here and fight like a man!!' lol!! I grabbed hold of him from walking off and told him not to take the easy route. He is better these days, I must admit.

I think the age difference between me and Ric (I'm 20) has had its advantages and disadvantages. We're both still learning about what a relationship is, however he wants more than I'm ready to offer, ie children. I do want children, not for a few years yet though.

[Ness]

oh the children thing, I want children but I don't want my boyfriends parents telling me that I should start now! it drives me mad I'm 19.

I understand the 'yes sir, and no sir' thing, I was like that with my ex and he was around 6years older than me and I was his first girlfriend, he asked me to marry him and made it seemed like I had to, one year after he asked I had to tell him the truth. and now he's dated about 4people since I broke it off.

oh why are relationships hard?

arguements are needed, though sometimes I even go a bit over board, but it's all back to normal by the next day!

[arikata]

Originally Posted by Ness

oh the children thing, I want children but I don't want my boyfriends parents telling me that I should start now! it drives me mad I'm 19!

I don't like the fact that most of the girls that were in my class at school have kids. Accidents happen but I'm pretty sure most people in my area don't know what else to do with their lives so have kids. They look for fulfillment that way.

I must admit that it has crossed my mind. However as a proffesional (in training!) early childhood practitioner I see so many young parents that are really depressed as they can't do much else other than care for their kids. I know one particular case where the mother would drop her son off at the nursery at 7am and wouldn't pick him up until 6pm, often even later even though the nursery closes at 6. The poor kid knew all of the cleaners that came in when the children were all supose to have gone home! We found out off his Dad that the mum would 'pawn' the kid off to him or her parents most weekends. Mondays and tuesdays were a blessing for the poor mite as they were the dads days to spend with him and we wouldn't see him at the nursery.

Some young girls do make excellent mothers and could put some of the older ones to shame, so I can't generalise But I know in my heart of hearts that I'm not ready for kids. Ric never pushed the topic as he didn't want me to make a mistake in life.

[Ness]

I have my bunny rabbit it's a bit like a kid, wakes me up in the morning for food (sometimes I over sleep, not often lol) and wants to come out and play most of the time, and theres the litter training, . my boyfriends parents don't want me to have the rabbit which has deeply upset me, though they want me to have a kid! thats really driven me mad over the past few days.

yep a lot of the people I know have kids, though one did it as her boyfriend was a lot lot older and if left much later he wouldn't be able to help look after it.

with me I want kids in the future, at the moment it's not the best thing to do. my friend joe wants me to have his kids as well, but thats with or without me dating him, I keep say no .

I want to study for a bit, I doubt I'll turn into on of those people who have kids at 35+, but I think I want to get past 25 first I still forming who I am.

there are things that would be hard to change if I had kids at a younge age:
I wouldn't get a choice in where I live really, unless I won the lotto or something.
I wouldn't be able to compete my course.
I wouldn't be able to get loads more hamsters.
I would feel bad about dating anyone else because you just don't know what'll happen in a relationship.

oh the list is endless.

[arikata]

We have our rabbits as well, although technically they're mine as I do all of the care giving. Ric wants custody over them when I get my own place, I think not somehow!

Alot of people have said that I keep getting animals as a substitution for kids, and in a way I think it's true. However animals are easier tenfold than children to look after! Alot easier to potty train for a start

I'm quite shocked that your boyfriends parents want you to have kids and I understand about you not wanting to get rid of your rabbit completely!!

[amy104]

I don't think men are ever really too old for kids. My dad is 50 and I have a 5 year old brother. He might not be running about playing ball with him 24/7 but he's quite capable. My OH already has 2 kids by his ex-wife, his mum would love me to get pregnant but at 24 I still feel way to young. My pets are my babies, yet they are also my companions. You can ramble on to them about adult stuff and cry into their fur. You couldn't do that with a kid, you'd traumatise them!

[PinkEmily]

Im 20 too, and i cant wait to start my own little family, like most of my friends have, BUT i know that i want the best for my kids and obviously myself and my boyfriend, that means Being married, in a nice house with a secure job. My animals are my babies at the moment, like Ness said, my bunny will wake me up in the morning and if she thinks ive slept in for too long dont i know it! The cage is a mess, after shes thrown everything everywhere.

At the moment i have 2 years of Uni left, im looking for my first house with my boyfriend as he lives in Manchester and im in Liverpool so we want somewhere in the middle. I dont plan to get married until 2010.

I also want to do something crazy before i have kids, im not your typical student, i dont go out partying etc, i hate it, im only small and being in a club with people knocking into you who are twice your height is not nice. I prefer to sit in a restaurant with my mates with a nice glass of wine, ( i sound like my mother!)

I think pets are a substitute for kids, my sister in law is a great example, shes 27, been married to my brother for over 2 years, but shes just bought a puppy, and shes so maternal with it!! I know she doesnt want any kids yet although you do get the family going 'no kids yet then'. At the mo shes very happy dressing 'Captin Bob' up in little outfits and potty training him.

[Ness]

Originally Posted by PinkEmily

Im 20 too, and i cant wait to start my own little family, like most of my friends have, BUT i know that i want the best for my kids and obviously myself and my boyfriend, that means Being married, in a nice house with a secure job. My animals are my babies at the moment, like Ness said, my bunny will wake me up in the morning and if she thinks ive slept in for too long dont i know it! The cage is a mess, after shes thrown everything everywhere.

yep mine does that too, he has a habit of pouncing in and out of his litter tray

[arikata]

Originally Posted by Ness

yep mine does that too, he has a habit of pouncing in and out of his litter tray

Mine love to do that. If I walk past the cage without giving them a fuss or let them out they go skitz and usuall knock their litter box over

[Ness]

oh it was really bad with me over the last two weeks as his hay holder thing was broken and the new one arrived after two weeks! (got it yesterday) well now it seems like he making a bit of a mesh but not as much. it was tirering though often wake me at 3am!In the bed I just take him to bed, that works, though often I feel like I'm encourageing him.