Why don't they understand?

[PinkPrincess]

My parents have never understood our love for hamsters, they are of the majority who think it's "just a hamster". I left home when I was 19, I'm 31 now and we don't even live in the same country (they live in Scotland and I live in Engand) so if they ever make comments when I'm on the phone I just ignore it. This has never bothered me before but I ended up having an argument on the phone with my mum last night after I told her about our new tattoos. (My OT and I went and got a "H" tattooed on our wrists yesterday in memory of Honey)

My mum said that she thinks we are taking "this hamster thing" too far, people will think we are a "right couple of idiots" when they ask what the H is for and we tell them and she even said that the way I was going on about Honey on Facebook when she got ill and then died was "insensitive" to my brothers wife who had recently had a miscarriage because "at the end of the day she was just a hamster". She said we need to get things in perspective and realise there are worst things going on in the world than hamsters dying. I was so angry I hung up on her. I know that there are worst things happen in the world but Honey was my pet and I loved her and her dying was relative to me. It doesn't mean I wasn't also sad about my sister in law's miscarriage. One doesn't cancel the other out!

It's really upset me that my own mum thinks this. What really annoys me too is the fact my brother and his wife have a dog and my mum and dad fuss over him like you wouldn't believe, you'd think it was their grandchild but that's different apparantly because he is a dog.

I expect attitudes like this from outsiders but not from my own parents.

[TraceyH]

Take no notice. The son who lives with me has the same way of thinking. I either ignore him or say two words to him. One begins with F and the second ends with F.

[Vicki S]

I understand that people get tattoos in memory etc. i only have two tattoos one tribal with daises and the other my sons name. My mum hates tattos in general so no matter what id get she would disaprove. im sorry to here about your loss and your sister inlaws loss too.

At the minute they probably are still grieving and not able to realise you have had two losses and are trying to cope with them both as im sure honey was your baby and maybe they don't realise that.

I know how you feel about the dog getting fussed over as my dad is a dog lover he doesn't like "Rodents" but my mum would rather be cuddling Rodney.

Just Keep your head held high for Honey

Take everything with a Pinch of Salt

Vicki

[Gizmodo ^_^]

I think your tattoo is a lovely symbol of your love to Honey
it's such a shame your parents don't understand

[Lougarry]

I love the tattoos too.

[shell1805]

some people cant express themselves very well and maybe this is the case with your mum. she is probably upset over your sister in laws miscarriage and is taking it out on you (not fare i may add) and doesn't realise how it affects you.

unfortunately hammies and rodents are seen as the 'little pet', the ones you have for a short time but thats it. dogs and cats, as they live much longer have become the 'family pet'. its a sad fact but a true one, only people who really give themselves over to the smaller critters of this world 'get it'.

get that though they are small, they are mighty and you can learn a thing or two from them!

chin up and dont rise to her. you know what honey meant to you an that is all that matters. you should pitty your mum really as she never knew honey like you did and thats her loss xxx

[PinkPrincess]

Thanks for all your support guys. I feel really bummed today, I hate it when there's bad feeling between me and people and usually I will extend the olive branch first but I'm not doing it this time. I haven't done anything wrong and I don't think I deserved that yesterday. She needs to understand I'm her daughter and if something is important to me she should respect that whether she agrees with it or not.

[Hammymad]

Luckily my mum (who we live with,I'm 30 this year) adores hamsters and has got 1 herself. It does annoy me when people say "it's only a hamster" or "it's only a dog" I've got my little dogs paw print and name tattooed on my wrist and I have a "hammy memorial garden" in the front garden with lots of little ornaments and my OAP Holly and baby Bella are buried there.One of my OHs golf buddies came round saw it and said "it's only a blooming hamster,just throw it in the bin" so I just told him to sod off (but not in those words)
People like that are ignorant and will never be able to understand the love we share with ur hammies.
You are surrounded by like minded people here who would never ridicule or belittle you for caring so deeply about your hamster.
The tattoo tribute you both got was lovely xx

[HamstersOfHell]

I'm quite lucky to live and be around animal lovers that don't mind my hamsters, just one friend that's a snake owner who wouldn't want one as a pet. My mother and step father adore the little hamsters, and are as devastated as me when we lose one.

[Erin Loves Dwarf Hamsters]

I'm lucky that my family love my hammies and even if they don't get why they at least pretend to. Whenever my dad is here he always wants to hug Thistle and I think he would be devastated if anything happened to her. My mum has never properly met my hams as she lives back in Cyprus but I know that she understands why I love them so much, our family has had pets since before I was born and knows that no matter how small the animal is, your love for it can be as big as it is for another human being.
The OHs family is very different though, well... his mother is anyway -.- She is one of those "its just a rodent" people (by the way if people use that you should point out that rabbits are rodents too and yet people seems to care about them much more) .

PP. your tattoo memorials are beautiful, people don't have any right to think you are an "idiot" for having it, it makes more sense than most people's tattoos and has a lot of love behind it. Regardless of how long hamsters live in comparison to dogs you still spend a good 2 or 3 years raising and taking care of them and that really is a long time when you look at it. I would do the same as you and stand my ground with an argument like this, you loved Honey, she was a part of your life and no one has the right to disrespect or disregard that. I hope that your mum comes around soon and apologises to you for what she said, we all understand how you feel though. I'm pretty sure everyone here has met at least one person who has used the "its just a hamster" line.

In the end though let's remember that we clearly are the better folk After all, if we can love a creature so tiny we must have much bigger hearts than those who cannot even understand what an amazing creation they are.