Why don't they understand?

[Faerydae]

sorry to hear that I'd hate if my family were like that with my pets, luckily my mum is as much an animal lover as me and when I lived with her, she'd give my hams more attention than I did! (if that's possible )

I think the tattoo is a lovely way to remember Honey

[mangoandmimi]

Ahh, what a shame she doesn't understand Luckily my family don't seem to mind too much. Well i say family..my dad wants to charge the hamsters rent..
Love the tattoo idea though

[kyrilliondaemon]

I'm really sorry to hear you've got this going on.

My family sort of think eight is a few too many, but they love pets and know we like having the hams. The closest to negative they get is stuff about us not wanting more and their (travel) cages being big enough lol


Also, I think the miscarriage and the death are very different. A death is someone you knew and loved passing, whereas the miscarriage is the loss of something you hoped to know. If it wasn't for the additional emotions of the miscarriage the death would clearly be worse really.

Both are important but in very different ways and I think to claim either is less important than the other is really mean. Not saying your Mum is mean, but the comment seems a bit harsh to me.

I really hope your Mum thinks about things and realises you really do care about Honey and if she must get involved and make a fuss, she should probably just be proud of you for being able to care that much for something so small when she herself seems incapable of it.

[Sterluv]

My parents fortunately appreciate my hamsters. I have had people give me that "So what? It's only a hamster," thing and I hate it too. Just try not to let it get to you. Some people are just not as caring as us, because even if they're tiny little animals we still take note of them and care about them. They don't understand that these little fluffies make great companions too.

[PinkPrincess]

I'm lucky that my OH loves hamsters as much as me and we are both passionate about it, I just wish my family was the same. They claim to be animal lovers too but only with "proper" pets like cats and dogs. We haven't spoken since I hung up on her last night, we usually talk every day but I'm determined I'm not going to be the one to make the first move. She needs to realise she was out of order and accept her comments were hurtful. She's really stubborn though, whenever we've had arguments in the past it's always me that's made the first move but I'm standing my ground this time.

[gutterglitterxx]

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. It's always hard when loved ones don't understand you, no matter what the topic is.

My mother and I see eye to eye on very little in life but amazingly she actually likes my hams. She was skeptical when I first got Fluffy but she ended up adoring her. I am still surprised when she gets all gooey over one of the little ones because, well, she doesn't really express love to anyone in life. (I can't remember the last time she told me she loved me. She's just not like that.)

I was pleasantly surprised how my friends and family reacted when Fluffy became ill and ultimately passed. I received much sympathy and understanding. I am very thankful for that.

Anyway... I know it's hard but I think you should express to her exactly how her attitude makes you feel. She may not be immediately receptive to it, but she will have no choice but to think about your words. She doesn't have to understand your love for the hams and certainly doesn't need to feel the same, so it's more about making her respect YOUR feelings and not dismissing them.

Good luck. xx

[Kissa]

Definitely stand your ground! What she said was definitely out of order. Your feelings for Honey doesn't mean you don't feel any less sad about the miscarriage. Our furbabies are just as important as any human babies. Just unfortunately, some people find that hard to understand

[Cupcake]

Awwww I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hate fighting with my family, though most of the times I fight with my mom, but as Kissa said stand your ground. My mom has this strategy (that used to work)that makes me feel guilty at the end of a "discussion" but don't fall for stuff like that.

I love your idea of getting H tattooed, it's really sweet and it's a nice way to remember Honey. I would simply ask for this subject to be avoided (that's what I usually do when I repeatedly have a fight revolving around the same subject a million times. Just tell them to not judge your love for hamsters and in turn you won't judge their love for cats and dogs only.
And "animal lovers" should love all animals not just dogs and cats. I would classify them more as being dog or cat lovers

[Shell]

I'm really sorry your mum is giving you a hard time Losing a much loved animal is so difficult and Honey sounds like a very special girl.

Sadly, I think there are only true animal-lovers (like us lot!) and then there are others who don't know what it's like to share the love and trust of a pet. We know that Honey was far from 'just a hamster' she was a dearly loved family member.

I'm sure your mum will come round in time.

*Hug*

p.s. I love your tattoo. Very subtle with an extra special meaning x

[PinkPrincess]

Thanks everyone, it means a lot being able to come here and speak to like minded people. Even if my mum thinks we are "a couple of idiots" at least we are not alone! xx