RIP Mushu - Page 4

dreamtree1234 · 06-08-2017, 12:37 PM

AprilPearl, you are most certainly not an attention grabber so don't feel bad for letting us all be there for you when you need us most. We truly are your friends, and friends laugh with one another during the happy times and help each other through the most difficult of times. Please let us be there for you and don't ever, EVER feel guilty for wanting comfort from those who are so desperately trying to find a way to make things more bearable for you.

I think that a flowering shrub or tree will be a lovely way to pay your respects to your furry friend. As it blossoms and grows, it will give you a nice spot to come and feel closer to him.

Please don't ever question if you will be possibly betraying your sweet Mushu's memory by desiring to have another hammy to love and cherish. Whether or not you decide to have another hammy in your life now, someday, or never, Mushu could never be betrayed by someone so devoted as you just because you are trying to do what you have to in order to heal your broken heart in the best way possible for you. Only you can know what the right thing to do is and at what time to do it. Remember that Mushu had the most amazing life filled with infinite amounts of unconditional love, and he would want another sweet hammy to have the same luck and love as he had with you. I think that it would be one of the most beautiful tributes and ways to honor your love for him by finding the strength in your heart to let it be open to love another if you truly believe that you are ready to do so. You wouldn't be replacing Mushu in your heart; you would only be enlarging your heart to fit more room for another hammy who is in such need for your tender, loving caring. If, and only if, you are ready to do so, don't let the thought of hurting Mushu and his memory prevent you from going to the SHC show on the 17th and letting another hammy be the recipient of a wonderful forever home with one of the most loving hammy owners. I will definitely be wishing you tons of luck that one finds its way into your heart because I think that it could be the absolute best thing for you, your mum, and the little furball waiting out there especially for you. If you think that this is the right time, I would definitely be sure to take a carry case with you just in case.

I will also be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that you are fully recovered and brought back to full health in the very near future. Sometimes having someone depending on you to care for and wake up for can be one of the greatest medicines of all. May you find your miracles and happiness. Hugs to you and your mum!

AprilPearl · 06-08-2017, 12:37 PM

Thank you CMB, Amity, Coco, Souffle. I think I will go to the show and if I am there and I think "no this isn't right" then I'll know I'm not ready for another ham. In that case, at least I will have had my first experience at a show seeing lots of lovely hamsters.

I think I will email and make an enquiry about whether there will be any babies at the show just in case.

AprilPearl · 06-08-2017, 12:40 PM

Oh thank you dreamtree. Reading your message did make me feel less guilty for having these thoughts. I am so glad that you don't think less of me for contemplating another fur baby.

Give your Eros a cuddle from me.

dreamtree1234 · 06-08-2017, 12:49 PM

Don't every think that I could possibly think less of you. You are an amazing person, and I can tell that you have a pure and loving heart. Take care!

I definitely will give Eros cuddles from you. He sends plenty and plenty of whisker kisses and snuggles to you as well.

flowerfairy · 06-08-2017, 12:53 PM

I have lots of hamsters because i was ill for a while and hardly went out. I need animals around me and my little collection of hamsters have been wonderful for me.

I am sure you will know when the time is right to welcome another hamster into your (very caring) home.

Enjoy the show and take lots of pics!

Pebbles82 · 06-08-2017, 01:05 PM

I felt the same April - I really wanted to get another hamster quite soon after Charlie died, even while we were still grieving for him. Not to replace him, but, as you say, you feel like you have unfinished business, and because it became part of my life having a hamster to look after. Plus they do give you so much. A week after Charlie died was too soon (I saw one in the local pet shop and really wanted to take her home, but I didn't feel quite ready). Two or three weeks later I wanted to find a rescue hamster - but decided to wait a bit longer for one of Souffle's babies

Drago · 06-08-2017, 01:13 PM

It's good to hear you're feeling a slight better. We will all be here if anything changes or you need more support. Sometimes we all need a place to go to share just how heartbroken we are and receive tips and comfort from our friends- and that's precisely what you've done with this thread. I was really so shocked to read this, I couldn't believe what I had read, and I'd like you to know that Duncan, Kopi, and I have honored Mushu's death.

I created a thread a little while back which I called "the ham garden". I shared a story of where I bury my hams and what I do to honor them (this is also where I announced that my sweet baby Chance had passed on). Others shared what they did as well and it was really so beautiful hearing all the ways to tribute our little friends. I put off creating memorials with my hamsters, but I regretted putting it off as soon as I made them their tributes. It's like doing one last wonderful thing for them, one last way to say goodbye and send them over the rainbow bridge. Though I don't like losing my fuzzy family members, I like being able to honor them. I've planted some wild flowers in my ham garden and each spring, they grow. This reminds me of all the sweet little fur balls that were in my life. If you're ready, a flower, shrub, or any other sort of plant would be an excellent way to tribute Mushu.

Please do not feel guilty for wanting another hamster. That's perfectly normal! Some people do not want another, while others need one right away to be there for them to help manage grief. You need to do what is going to make you happiest, no matter how you think it may be perceived. Mushu would never feel you are betraying him, in fact, he'd want you to open your heart to another little one whenever you were ready. To give them a life just as wonderful as his. A breeder would be a good place to go. They just tend to be healthier, longer lived, and more tame. Whatever you decide, please feel happy and proud of your decision.

Hope you're hanging in there, so sorry again X

Pebbles82 · 06-08-2017, 01:52 PM

I also think, in a couple of weeks, you just feel that they have moved on and feel a bit more peaceful xxx I had actually wanted to get another hamster when we still had Charlie - sounds selfish, but so if he died we would still have a hammy to care for. But by the time he was old I thought he might not like us having another hamster. My Sister did that with dogs. Her dog is very old and having lost a few pets before, she decided to get a new puppy so they have two dogs and still have the puppy to look after and love when their old dog goes. It's not selfish really, it's recognising that we have needs and have to cope as well.

Drago · 06-08-2017, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serendipity7000

I also think, in a couple of weeks, you just feel that they have moved on and feel a bit more peaceful xxx I had actually wanted to get another hamster when we still had Charlie - sounds selfish, but so if he died we would still have a hammy to care for. But by the time he was old I thought he might not like us having another hamster. My Sister did that with dogs. Her dog is very old and having lost a few pets before, she decided to get a new puppy so they have two dogs and still have the puppy to look after and love when their old dog goes. It's not selfish really, it's recognising that we have needs and have to cope as well.

Honestly, I don't think that this is selfish to be honest. I think that it makes total sense to have another ham so you'll have a support when one passes. I have recommended this to a friend of mine who has a 2.5 yr old ham to help them with his passing which will inevitably come (though I hope not soon). I can say from experience, it's tough losing your only animal. When I lost my 17 year old dog (though a family dog in actuality) it was horribly sad and lonesome not having another. I had debated getting another but decided against it, feeling as though I'd be replacing him. Getting a new puppy four months ago, was the best decision ever and I regret not having a puppy to keep me busy during that time of grief.

In the end AP, you need to do whatever your heart truly desires, not what your head reasons X

chesca_27 · 06-08-2017, 03:23 PM

April Pearl I've only just logged onto the forum now and seen the news. I'm devastated. He was so cute and so young. It was certainly not your fault, but when we lose a pet, we always blame ourselves. I'm so sorry for your loss and it has always been obvious how much you love Mushu.

Some kind of memorial might be therapeutic to help you grieve. I managed to get a beautiful, personalised pebble to put over Toffee's grave and I love how it looks. It blends in well with the landscape. A couple of weekends ago I planted some pretty red flowers around his grave (I wanted orange to match his fur, but couldn't find anything) which has really helped me as I feel like I am honouring him and letting the world know that I will never forget my pets, no matter how small.

When I lost my beautiful Toffee (my piggie) last October, I found Oreo (his companion) to be the only thing that helped me grieve so considering another hamster is never selfish. You can give another hamster a wonderful life, which I'm sure a Mushu would want. The Andover show sounds like an excellent place to get another hamster. I may be attending, but I need to confirm it with my parents first. Also, everyone grieves differently so one person may feel the need to get another hamster quickly as they need a focus, whereas other take longer to feel ready. There's nothing wrong with grieving either way.