I know that no one ever wanted to hear this today, I know that all your prayers and thoughts should have kept him safe.
But it just wasn't meant to be.
Words can't describe how much I long to snuggle my fluffy bedding monster, the pain I felt when I knew you were gone.
I knew it in my heart that I'd made a mistake, that I just couldn't leave you this morning not knowing if I'd see you again.
I'll always regret that I put you through it and you didn't live the long life you should have, the time we could have had together.
But Porridge never was meant to get old. I never could imagine him not climbing the curtains and using me like his personal stairway to an adventure.
I'm so sorry to all you lovely people that told me it would be ok and that I was doing the right thing. That I couldn't come on and tell you the good news about a quick recovery and a successful operation.
He didn't suffer and he was never in pain. I never had to watch him wither away from the boy who was always full of life and love.
I want to remember his life and not his death.
I think this poem would be the words that Porridge would want to tell you all.
Remember
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land:
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
1830-1894
I'll never ever ever forget that day when I saw the 'smiling chocolate fluff ball' on preloved.
He was PORRIDGE from the very first moment I saw him, he would be mine and there wasn't going to be anyone to stop me.
I'll never regret that I gave him the best life I could and it might not have been the same if another person had taken him.
Please, I ask that you don't post words of grief and sadness, I'd like you to share with me the happy memories of my baby.
I know this is hard for me and it was always my worst fear, I don't think I'll ever forget my mistake. But whats done is done and if God needs my angel for a special job then I hope I've prepared him well to be at peace in heaven xxx