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09-07-2011, 09:03 PM
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#181
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,941
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Re: Indyman tumour?
Indy helped you through so much so its not surprising how hard his death has and continues to be. Just take each day as it comes. If that means a day in your pjs crying then so be it. Your tears are helping you heal so let them flow. Try and do one thing per day even if its just a walk outside. Am thinking of you xxx
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09-08-2011, 10:24 AM
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#182
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The Hamster Princess
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 7,424
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Re: Indyman tumour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_ice
I really finding it hard...its 2 weeks...i dont feel that upset about zell now as it was right but indy, i just cant stop crying...theres a constant lump in my throat and i dont think my friends etc are noticing that much, i keep seeing his little face all twisted up in pain and me sitting there helpless,i know the pain is gone now but my life genuinely feels like it has a hole in it, usually this feeling goes away but it still feels as strong as when he left me
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I know how you feel. Buddy passed naturally a month before Snickers was PTS, but her death hit me so hard. She really was something special and it wasn't her time, at all.
The pain doesn't really go away but I guess you learn to cope. I still think about her everyday, but now instead of crying because she's gone (which I did for weeks!). I remember the happy times and how brave she always was, despite the pain she must have been in. You just have to learn to smile, that's what Indy man would want, afterall. xx
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09-08-2011, 11:15 AM
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#183
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#1 Hamster Mom
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Nottingham, East midlands, UK
Posts: 13,209
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Re: Indyman tumour?
Its different for everyone, and sometimes you just need time
Like Suga says you have to allow yourself to be upset, no matter what anyone else thinks. The more you hold back the more it'll bottle up inside. Even now I feel my family isn't complete without Porridge, but i concentrated on the other hams as I knew thats what he would have wanted.
If it helps gets Bear out and have a heart to heart with him, he might not be bothered about listened but at least its someone to talk to. Even Indy will be listening and watching over you <3
I wish I could teleport right over and hug you right now xx
__________________
Love from Mel and the ham hams xxx
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09-08-2011, 12:38 PM
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#184
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 8,030
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Re: Indyman tumour?
i'm trying all, i am, just its just one loss after another or so it seems.
Mel..check your event invites hun xxx
__________________
Feel free to ask me about rat advice too
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09-08-2011, 02:29 PM
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#185
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PM Fluffy for custom title
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 2,105
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Re: Indyman tumour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_ice
i'm trying all, i am, just its just one loss after another or so it seems.
Mel..check your event invites hun xxx
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Life throws some very, very testing times at us, for sure. We all have these spells of bad luck. I really wish I could make it all better for you, but I don't think I can do anything to really help. You know just after he passed and we giggled a little about your life together? Try and focus on those wonderful things.
Even now, saying goodbye to Chewy at the vet haunts me. I question my decision every day, and well up when I think about him. But I manage to smile while doing it, remembering the fun we had, the time he looked up at me with one of his poops stuck on his big fluffy face.. the silly things. I know I can't lose the sad difficult memories from the end, but I can try and make sure the happy ones are more important and prevalent in my mind.
Many squillions of hugs to you . You've had a really, really rough time of late. I swear if I had money I'd be there doing a daft dance for you :P x
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09-08-2011, 05:48 PM
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#186
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Retired Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 6,758
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Re: Indyman tumour?
When my dad died in his sleep when completely healthy, I thought I'd never get over it ever. But as time moves on that all encompassing suffocating grief that hits you like a truck hits less often. It never goes away, but that's ok, it just means I loved him that much. I think what I learned from it is that if you love like that, be it person or animal you will always carry love for them and therefore you will always carry pain that they have passed.
You gave Indy such a lovely life, and he was with you so much through some really tough times. My Jam and The Cloud helped me so much through very tough times too and I miss them, and always will. Give yourself time, it's such early days still. I imagine most people here have sadly lost either someone close or a furry best friend, so don't think twice about telling us when you're struggling.
Lots of love to you xx
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09-09-2011, 01:46 AM
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#187
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Past Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: London
Posts: 3,815
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Re: Indyman tumour?
I lost my dad and my sister in the same month. My sister's death is still something too painful for me to talk about although I've written about it in one of my stories. I find losing animals can be just as hard as losing people, when my first cat, Friday, died I was distraught and blaming myself all the times.
It's an awful feeling but we get stronger. It's not fair that you lost Zell and Indy so close together but all of us and Bear and Cloud will comfort you.
*hugs* x
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