Help please

Nathan · 03-27-2016, 02:38 AM

I had my little girl for a year and a half. On Friday I put her to bed and she was fine - lively, playful, eating her treats. Then yesterday evening I went to get her for her evening playtime and she had died. I can't understand why? She was simply lying on her side in her home and cold. There had been no change to food, housing, bedding etc.
I work from home and spend all day every day with her, talking to her, getting her out for a cuddle when she wakes up and I am absolutely devastated.
Anyone else who has lost their friend how on earth do I cope with it. I have never felt this bad. I am absolutely devastated and don't know what to do with myself.
I simply can't bear the though of her not being around and can honestly say I have loved her as much, if not more, than anything else in my entire life.
How do you deal with the loss of your closest, beloved friend?

Thin Lizzy · 03-27-2016, 05:11 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Joining this forum will help you with your loss, as devoted hamster lovers we all know how much our hamsters mean to us,
Sometimes there's no explanation to why, hamsters can be fine one day and gone the next.
Why don't you make a memory box of your little girl, include some pics, toys and treats. I did that for Archie.
Grief affects everyone differently, I got brilliant support here when Archie died and it really helped me, I too was devastated but over time the pain eased. You will get through this, don't be afraid to reach out and talk about it.
What was your little girl's name? Could you post a pic?

Rsclio197 · 03-27-2016, 06:06 AM

I had a similar problem Nathan. I lost my first ever girl Syrian a month ago. I came straight on here and everyone was fantastic.

Everyone deals with these situations in different ways.

Firstly I'd give her a good burial, in a plant pot or in your garden and plant some flowers on her grave. Secondly, id make a nice photo album of her, you can get pics from your phone at boots.
Then I'd write to her in a diary just asking how she is on a daily basis. And lastly and sit there and put some sad music on and let it all out, just mourn all you need to over her.

I'm sorry for your loss Nathan it's never easy letting go, personally I won't ever let go of Suzi, she's in my heart forever now and I'll see her again one day. I'm not religious at all but I genuinely believe we'll meet again one day.

Nathan · 03-27-2016, 06:36 AM

Thank you everyone xxx. I can not remember being this cut up. I know that everyone here appreciates that for some people their pets mean everything to them - no matter how old they are or how long they have had them. We love them as much, sometimes more, than out human friends or family members. She was my little baby and I utterly, utterly adored her. I'll post a pic of her - Mrs Warboys.

cypher · 03-27-2016, 07:21 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss Nathan, it's such a shock when this happens but sometimes they do leave us for no reason we can know & there are no warning signs at all, that does make it very hard to accept the loss & I really feel for you.
I always find giving them a nice burial & either planting something or putting some kind of memorial on the spot always helps me, photo books to look through when the time is right are lovely too & memory boxes do help lots of people.
It's never easy & no one can make the pain of your loss any less but at least here you are among people who understand & listen when you want to talk about it.

Rsclio197 · 03-27-2016, 09:43 AM

She's absolutely beautiful mate and you clearly cared a lot for your best friend.

I would 100% make her a memorial thread on this forum. Share her life and memories with like minded jammy lovers and put some more pics up on the thread.

I don't know if you've sorted her cage out yet, I done it within hours because I couldn't bare to see it sat there empty

. Some leave it a while but do it in your own time.

I got a new hamster 10 days after my baby girl Suzi died, it certainly helped so long as you don't expect it to be the same as Mrs Warboys.

Rsclio197 · 03-27-2016, 09:45 AM

Oh and I buried Suzi in her bed with all of her favorite toys and treats, and made a little cross with her wooden hideout sat on top of the plant pot, she's right outside my front door so we speak every day when I'm in and out for work.

Look online about how to bury a small pet so the maggots or birds dont spoil her corpse.

cypher · 03-27-2016, 10:50 PM

Don't know how I missed your photos of her before but she was an absolute beauty, her character really shows in the photos too, with time you'll be able to cherish all those happy memories without the pain of her loss but it does take time.
They have such a special place in our hearts & they stay in our hearts forever.

Nathan · 03-28-2016, 01:46 AM

Thanks again everyone. It is a huge comfort being able to chat with like-minded people.
It has only been a couple of days and I feel absolutely bereft - I still can't believe she's gone, especially as it was so unexpected.
Another thing that is worrying me is was it something I did wrong? I can't think of anything - however hard I rack my brain. But I can't understand how she was so well one night and just gone the next evening. She had a huge home, regularly cleaned, approved bedding, fresh food and lots of love and treats. Could she have choked on something?
I know I shouldn't dwell but I can't stop thinking about whether there was something I could have done better, and it's crucifying me. Plus, I don't know how long I am going to feel like this, and on the other hand I don't want to feel different as that will mean she is slipping away. And I can't bear her to be gone.

cypher · 03-28-2016, 01:51 AM

Try not to go down the self blame, questioning all you did route, it will only make you feel worse.
It is natural to have those kind of thoughts, even when you know what caused a death but sudden expected deaths do just sometimes happen, I'm sure you gave the best of care & did nothing to cause this.

How long you'll feel like this isn't something anyone else can say really, I've found it different every time I've lost a ham, I know what you mean about not wanting to feel different too, it's just that not wanting to let go but it does get easier & we never really let go or replace them when we get a new ham, our feelings just gradually change over time.