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12-05-2014, 10:47 PM
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#1
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Adult Hamster
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 267
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Hammy jail
Ahhh my lil stinker Her Royal Cheekiness, aka The Nutter, aka the currently named Hazel Nut, aka "DAMMIT, HAZEL!" once again broke one of the few laws of the land by escaping her cage though she knew very well she was not allowed out!
As this is her second offense, I decided a simple warning was no longer sufficient, therefore she has been sentenced to hammy jail (aka, bin cage that is much smaller than the cage she escaped from). In addition to breaking (out of her cage) and entering (the part of my room outside her cage), she was also found responsible for property damage (this in particular earned a "DAMMIT, HAZEL!" as she, in the one and a half hours between my spraying that bitter spray thing on the wires of her cage and my return to the room, managed to chew a lil getaway ditch on the tabletop/floor under the plexi-glass part of one of the doors so she could slip under), unlawful possession and abuse of a narcotic (she found, much to her extreme delight, the package of foxtail millet spray) as well as petty theft (she most definitely pouched some shredded coconut and the three nuts that was supposed to be the three hamsters' treat for the day--albeit, as these particular nuts were, in fact, hazelnuts, it was deemed petty theft as technically, being named after said nuts may have made her mistakenly assume all hazelnuts belonged to her due to "I don't see your name on it" not being a sufficient argument when the object IS her name).
The duration of her sentence is, as yet, undetermined with the minimum sentence being 1 week and the maximum, 3 weeks, upon which she will be paroled and released into a newly renovated/built secured home. Failure to comply with the terms of her probation (namely, no more escaping!) will likely lead to a life-sentence at one of two facilities, named simply as "The Bin" and "The Tank."
Let us hope she has learned her lesson--and let her also serve as a lesson to all you delinquent hammies out there!
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12-05-2014, 11:03 PM
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#2
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Retired Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Brooklyn, New York USA
Posts: 10,295
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Re: Hammy jail
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! That is just terrific! What a great story line. I especially like the "breaking & entering" and the narcotic abuse. You just made my night!
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12-06-2014, 02:10 AM
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#3
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PM Fluffy for custom title
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,469
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Re: Hammy jail
Hehehehehehehe that's soooo funny
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12-06-2014, 02:12 AM
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#4
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Dwarf whisperer
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 24,789
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Re: Hammy jail
lol! Never a dull moment!
__________________
Slave to Zak.
Always loved, never forgotten, forever in my heart
T'ycor, Ziggy, Zephyr, Flynt, Mickle, Little Whisp, Zen, Zeki, Tinwë, Zylvan, Míriel, Calyanwë, Gusto & Meri ❤️
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12-06-2014, 03:28 AM
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#5
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Hamster Pup
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 60
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Re: Hammy jail
This is the best
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12-06-2014, 04:53 AM
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#6
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I LOVE FURBABIES
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,043
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Re: Hammy jail
Lololol!!! Very entertaining read!! . Let's hope she doesn't break her parole..
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12-06-2014, 04:32 PM
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#7
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Adult Hamster
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 267
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Re: Hammy jail
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy001
Lololol!!! Very entertaining read!! . Let's hope she doesn't break her parole..
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As the only reason she is not attempting to clammer up the wall of the bin at this moment is because she got distracted with foraging for food, I can only hope the security measures being undertaken to her paroled home (which I am considering calling "The Hammer Slammer," or "The Ham Slam") will be enough to foil what evil machinations she may plan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrainGirl
That was hilarious greysome! I could almost picture the furry little miscreant standing in the dock and the sentence being handed down by a stern judge
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If by "standing in the dock" you mean standing inside her coconut hut happily munching away on piece of carrot and ignoring said stern judge handing down her (admittedly, I am very biased) magnanimous decision, then it's as if you were there, braingirl!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pygmypuff
I love this! Hilarious, greysome! I can totally imagine Hazel with big eyes looking up as if to say "It wasn't me!"...
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Hah, I laugh, Pygmypuff, at your picturing Hazel Nut with any sense of shame. As far as she is concerned, if anyone should be shamed, it should be me and she let me know it but proceeding to ignore my presence and attempting to find any way to escape the slippery solid walls of her cell. Unfortunately for her, her cellmate (known as "Stomach") will have its say and was unwilling to either forgo food OR ignore the hand that feeds it (literally), and so she temporarily ceased her lil snit until the food was no longer on said hand--at which time she butted it away and resumed the silent treatment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purdy Bear
I take it that Hazel is a very headstrong hamster, and thus believes in her individual rights to escape anything where she feels she needs to get out of.
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And so we shall never be close friends, Hazel Nut and I, as she is a firm believe that the grass is always greener on the other side--and that side is her rightful place and I am a firm believer that she should follow my rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeever
Does Hazel have access to an attorney? Because she has the right to one. Something to think about before you start seeing little 'impromptu' demonstrations of Ham Anger in major cities
I'm thinking there may be a few holes in this so called legal system that has imprisoned our sister!!! Holes which can expose the draconian and dictatorial nature of the regime.
FREE HAZEL!
FREE HAZEL!
FREE HAZEL!
-Ziggy Esq.
Zigg & Pook/Attorneys at Law
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She waived her rights to an attorney the second she took that bit of carrot from my hand. As for those protestors who may be waiting in the wings--*glances at Teddy and Chubby* well, I see no real problem stirring there. Although Chubby did discover his hormones last night, enthralled with a never-met but pheromone-perfumed lady love. Fortunately, he is not one to go out of his way and so is content singing mournfully into the night of unrequited and impossible love so long as I keep the food and water coming.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrKMcK
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*looks at Zook and Pook suspiciously* Yes....those robes....what are they hiding in there? *thinks* wait....never mind...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CPalmer
hahaha watch out for nail files hidden in hammy cake!
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Hmmm...perhaps giving her some chews were a bad idea...I can just imagine the brightly-colored or formerly alligator-shaped shivs now....
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12-06-2014, 08:22 AM
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#8
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Adult Hamster
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 341
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Re: Hammy jail
lol! this made me think of the first day i got my ham... i went to the store to get him.. and then went to walmart to buy the things he needed, like bedding and a cage. when i got back in the car, the box was light, of a hamster. he had chewed through the box and was roaming around my car... naughty ham. we drove back to the pet store to get a thicker box and we named it hamster jail xD
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I love my hamily! Frodo(Robo), Toothless(Syrian), Dos(Syrian), Albus(Syrian), Neville(Syrian).
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12-06-2014, 08:45 AM
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#9
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Hamsters on the Brain
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts: 6,458
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Re: Hammy jail
That was hilarious greysome! I could almost picture the furry little miscreant standing in the dock and the sentence being handed down by a stern judge
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12-06-2014, 09:11 AM
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#10
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Hamster Addict
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West England
Posts: 970
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Re: Hammy jail
I love this! Hilarious, greysome! I can totally imagine Hazel with big eyes looking up as if to say "It wasn't me!"...
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