We found the alcohol hand gel brilliant when we first got our 3 petshop Syrians - actually, rather embarrassingly we didn't ever even
touch them without it for the first few months
Just make sure it's the strongly alcohol smelling one and not lemon scented or something.
I know how this feels, I got very demoralised and couldn't handle Sparrow and Turner for a long time. Will, bless him, carried on working on them (and getting bitten quite a ...erm..bit) and they are fine now, pretty mellow and will even sit on our hands. Maybe yours will grow out of this, hope so.