Sundays, a typical hard day!!

[Kristin]

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't replied to any of my threads over the weekend I've been with my Fiance who came home from his army training camp for the weekend.
The truth to this post is that Im practically in pieces because he has gone back to work again. I can't explain how much it hurts to see him drive away. I know I see him a lot while he's training but it's not ever the same as having him home all the time and being able to have a hug when I need one.
When he goes it feels like a massive hole has been ripped from my body or I'm simple missing my left arm. Its small but very special things that I miss when he goes, like his smile or his laugh, the way he holds me close when we hug and snuggle. I miss him as a person and just wish this 'army wife life' was so much easier!!!
I can't stop these tears and all I need is a hug from him but he's not here to give me one :'(
I am so proud of my Sam and I never tell him to leave because I know it's a career he's wanted to pursue in. Its been just over a year and I still feel the same as I did when he first left in January 2010. I am stronger and I move on quickly with my day to day jobs but I still feel torn when he leaves. My Sam is everything to me. We have been with each other for four years this august and been engaged for nearly one year this may.

I guess I make this day harder for myself because I can never see the positive side of seeing him go even though I know I should be seeing him again the coming weekend.

I have my little hamster and I always seem to perk up when he entertains me in the evening. I always smile when I watch little Harley running around or when Im working with him on our relationship.

I'm really sorry about this post but I just wanted to explain the reasons I wasn't on over the weekend and I do find it easier to talk to people on forums than I do to my friends and family. I guess I don't like people to see my cry anymore, weird eh!!

sorry once again
xxx

[Gillzy]

Aww hun. :( *hug*

I know the feeling, as my OH (of 3 years) was originally set on joining the RAF, and the thought of him going away and being away for long times tore me apart. I didn't know how I would cope, and so I ignored the topic for years and, thankfully, recently my mother (who works for a careers service) proposed a job which she thought would suit him (an Air Traffic Controller) - and it turned out that it was something he'd always wanted to do, and truthfully the reason he wanted to join the RAF. He has now started the process to join that career (has the final stage (of 4) interview on the 15th - which will decide if he gets to do training). Training will mean being away for a year, and I'm dreading that too, but looking on to after that, where at least he will have settled job and I can live with him wherever he ends up - which would not be the case if he spent the next 30 years in the RAF. I guess I'm fortunate.

I never aired my dislike for this - other than if we talked about it (or I talked to my mum) I would end up in tears - because I knew it was his dream and that I had no right to tell him not to do it, since the thought had been there before I was even a part of his life. But I am SO relieved now that there is this other possibility, that I can actually think about a future with him (it was a possibility that I would have to break up with him if I couldn't handle him being away so much).

I know my story is nothing like yours, but I can empathise with the thoughts.

Just use Harley to get you through it, our little furballs are saviours when it comes to missing people. Perhaps you could get another hamster, for even more love? x

[Kristin]

Thank you for your kind, sweet words hun -hugs-

I hope things are going well with you and your chap xx

I feel slightly better but my tear ducts remain unclosed. Any thought of him being away just seems to start me off again. I just really need a good hug and a snuggle from him but I can't have one.
We have this saying that each night the moon and stars come out to play we have a look at them, especially the moon, as we both know we are looking at the same moon and so we think of each other. He was the one who started all this off and I end up doing it all the time. I always look at the moon and think of him each night. It helps me relax a bit more knowing he isn't too far away and that I will see him again soon.

I have been thinking of getting another little hamster but I know it won't be yet. It would be nice to have a few Robroski (not sure how you spell it) and possibly another syrian :)
We looked in at Pets at Home today and thought they were all adorable :)
xxxx

[Gillzy]

Aww just like Fievel and Tanya in an American Tale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Rw-aaqmmJo) (sorry if you watch that it might make you cry, it always makes me cry). That's adorable! :)

Roborovskis are cute :D Well let us know if you do get one. And try to keep your chin up, although it's hard, I do find smiling makes me feel better. :) x

[Kristin]

Thanks hun :)
I went down to the beach house this morning and had a right a laugh. I agree, laughing does make you feel better. Its at night when I miss him the most because there isn't enough to preoccupy my mind apart from sleep. During the day I can preoccupy myself with all sorts so its not too bad.

We are thinking and have been talking about our wedding day and have both decided to have a small, cheaper wedding so we can focus on living with each other. As long as I'm with him thats all that matters :)
We both want a marriage quarter and it's something that has been in discussion for sometime now. I received the text from him last night about our wedding day and it made me cry. Im such a soppy gal ♥

Thanks for your lovely words hun, means a lot to me so thank you xxxx

[Gillzy]

Aww that's wonderful. :)

Perhaps you could spend your evenings planning your wedding :) Or your new place! :D

Don't ever give up being soppy - I need someone to keep me company! :P I, seriously, cry at anything!!! Haha. Even TV programmes. I can't go near the memorials section of this site... the first time I visited my OH told me I wasn't allowed to go back coz I was just sitting blubbing in the corner. :P

[Kristin]

:D

I'm exactly the same. Dear John is by far my most favorite story and I cry every time I watch it but it does feel good to let all those tears out. I'm the same, going near the memorial section always makes me blubber!! I just can't help it.
I also cry when I'm extremely happy, like everything is working out for me and life couldn't be better. I've had this happen a few times lol. Emotions can be annoying at times lol xxx

[Gillzy]

Haha yeh, I'm pretty bad for crying when happy too, and sometimes just cry for the sake of crying (yes, I'm a bit bizarre but it works for me) - intentionally watching the Notebook, or P.S. I Love You, just to have a wee peep! :P Not cried too much since I got Sen though. She cheers me up too much. :D