Suggestion: Debaters Forum

[Silver]

I am so guilty of becoming overly sensative about a subject myself at the moment. I know afterwards I have reacted badly to something & quiet often wish I had not said or done what I have, & then can see that it was most probably not intended as I read it.

Infact this morning I wished a great big whole would open up & swallow me!

I think it's a lot to do with how something is written how it's phrased? Perhap's with all the technology now text's email's IM do we loose the ability to sensor what we type? I think people speak in a totally different way to others behind a computer/mobile screen than you would face to face.

Also you loose the most important aspect of communication & that's body language

xxx

[slatted]

Originally Posted by Silver

I think it's a lot to do with how something is written how it's phrased? Perhap's with all the technology now text's email's IM do we loose the ability to sensor what we type? I think people speak in a totally different way to others behind a computer/mobile screen than you would face to face.

Also you loose the most important aspect of communication & that's body language

xxx

I think there is a term for it...the "silent voice" or somesuch...we put our own interpretation on how things are intended and phrased and a sentence can be worded the same but come across in so many different ways and that may stem from our past..and where we are sensitive to criticism ?

The thing I am constantly working on is knowing how I might react and feel and how I expect others to react and then take that into consideration....that is often why I ask for clarification or information to give background.

If I think I have phrased badly I will always try to clarify but often someone has already judged me before the conversation started, or really has become so focussed on getting their point heard that they do not really care.... and that is where things get heated

[Silver]

I didn't know there was a term for this, Silent voice is a good description.

Also we don't know what the person or persons are going though in real life at the moment they read reply's on the forum.

You might of just come off the phone from a heated/sad phone call & over reacted to what's been written, going through hard real life situations, feeling ill or just woke up in a bad mood we all have them times/days

I understand what you mean Slatted about peoples perception, but the good thing about this situation is with a forum even if someone has got the wrong idea about a person, reading their posts to other people on the forum over time will alter their perception of you.

I guess you get to know the person more

xxx

[Cricetinae]

Originally Posted by slatted

Am not sure when we stopped being able to challenge points of view. respectfully, without it becoming a sensitive issue and "hurt feelings" coming into play....I was always taught that that is how we grow and learn as humans....embracing alternative points of view...accepting that they exist...? Anyone know....am I alone is noticing this change?

Funnily enough I've been thinking the same thing for a while. I suspect pet forums have a tendency to develop a 'hive mind' of sorts, whereby a collective opinion is formed which members tend to conform to, for fear of not fitting in or offending people with different beliefs.

If a novice joins here with a hybrid dwarf in a tiny cage, they will likely quickly understand the problems with hybridisation and perhaps develop a negative attitude towards it, and will also likely upgrade their cage to something around 70cm x 40cm+. However...

If this very same novice member instead joined a different forum, they might find that people barely remark on the cage or hybridisation. They will go on to recommend the cage and share the forums general ethos. If they joined a German forum, their attitude might quickly become that you need a cage of 100cm x 50cm and that exercise balls are cruel for example.

Who's to say that any of the above ideas are right? The only way we can really explore if they are or not is through discussion, but it seems people are more likely to just conform to the idea's of whatever community, group, forum or club they join and either forget or simply not bring their own unique, important insight to the table. This is especially apparent when a member of forum X posts in forum Z and you see a considerable clash occur, instead of having a good discussion and coming to a compromise or conclusion, they generally agree to disagree and just leave the matter.

[Silver]

I think that is a very good point made Cricetinae,

After all we can only advise what we have had good results with our self's. If we buy a big cage & the ham is happy & lives a long life & we feed one type of hamster mix & the ham is happy & healthy lives past two years then of course we will advise a big cage & that brand of food.

But the next ham might hate large spaces live happily in a small cage & eat a totally different hamster mix & also live past two years old so they advise that.

I guess forums are like anywhere else in life some people come to the front & talk more express them self more than others & people reading will fall into line with this, it's normal human nature to want to be accepted & fit in with any social situation.

xxx

[slatted]

I was thinking in general rather than just on this forum or any others. Seems that voicing independent opinion and ideas can be seen as a negative rather than "just" an opinion.

I would also say that I am becoming more cautious to mention things that I know will not be met with the "approval" of others even though I have experience and information. I have realised that life is not black and white and that there are exceptions to almost every rule...if not every one...but it is not always something that can be freely explored and expressed any more

[Silver]

I understand, I just linked it to here because we are here lol

But yes it takes a lot of courage to discuss anything that does not meet the general consensus of any forum. And if you do, you know that you could well upset people which is not the reason why we express different opinions, but it can & often does.

I think we learn that not everything is black or white as we go through life & experience the grey areas for our self.

[slatted]

I think that sometimes even when things are right in front of us it can be ignored if does not fit our own ideas.

If a question or discussion is being held then I think it is necessary for all information to be able to be aired otherwise what is the point of asking questions or having a forum at all?

Learning does not have to be just from experience.

[Silver]

That's very true,

I guess when our own opinions are very strong we sometimes close our ears/eyes on forums & keep believing in what we think is correct.

It can also be scary when understanding/finding out our opinions/belief's about something we held strongly may not be right

xxx