[ninaa]

Yesterday I found Nina asleep but something was off. She didn't wake up and she was shaking as if she was having a nightmare. I tried to wake her up but she barely opened her eyes. I tried to give her some water and she accepted it. I noticed her genitalia was wet. So i took her immediately to the emergency vet. The vet ran some test and she diagnosed her with wet tail. She gave her some medicine and we took her home. Her posture wasn't very promising but I was optimistic since the vet said she wasn't dehydrated. I let her sleep and went to bed. I set an alarm to 5 am to check on her. Her little heart wasn't beating anymore... Her eyes were open. I feel so sad... She must've noticed her own death while I was just sleeping as usual. I know I shouldn't feel bad about it, it's not my fault per se, but I do feel guilty...

I know wasn't the best care taker lately, I made sure she had water and food and access to her wheel, and I took her out some days. But the truth is I haven't been paying much attention to her lately. And now I feel so guilty, since I can't go back and enjoy some more time with her. And she died in pain. That's not fair for her. She didn't know what was happening to her, yet she had to feel the pain... At least now she's not in pain anymore.

But enough of sad words. Let's share some positive things. I got Nina on March 2021. I previously got a Syrian hamster when I was a kid. Nina was a dwarf hamster. She was so active. She was always running on her wheel, all night. Either that or digging into her bedding and rearranging her cage. So much so that I had to constantly put her wheel back into place and make sure she could access the water bottle. She was definitely a biter, I still have some bites in my fingers. She was curious and restless every time I took her out of the cage. She also liked jumping from cliffs and climbing up the couch. She even broke a small bone in her right hip but she seemed to recover from it after taking her to the vet. She hoarded food like crazy, but she never overate, and was always agile and in good shape.

It's the break of dawn as I type this. I will try to get some rest and we'll bury her in the forest first thing in the morning. Rest in peace my little friend Nina, I hope you had a good experience in this world.