[fairy]

Content warning- description of death, if you are sensitive to such topics I recommend clicking off

It breaks my heart to say that my sweet angel has passed over the rainbow bridge.
1 year and 9 months, Ad i was surprised to see you pass so early.
My theory is he had a stroke.
Last night around 10 or 11pm, Ad woke up, I went to see him and fill his food bowl when I noticed something was VERY WRONG. He could barely walk, was falling over so badly onto his back, couldnt walk in a straight line, was bobbing his head, all the signs of a stroke. I was panicked and showed my family, taking pictures because I knew i didnt have much time with him. We gave him some lettuce and water, and at this point he was still eating and drinking just fine, he just couldnt walk. I placed him back in his tank and he slept through the night.

I was woken up in the morning by my grandma who noticed Ad was acting weird. I ran up to his cage and he was in his sand box completely paralyzed. I pet him, tried to lift him up, zero movement. I picked him up and swaddled him in a blanket, and had a cup of water with a syringe, trying to hydrate him. One half of his body was completely paralyzed and didnt move since last night. The other half of him twitched occasionally. He was thirsty and kept moving in the motion of wanting his water bottle. This went on for 2 hours as he got weaker and weaker.

In the last hour of his life he couldnt keep his eyes open. At this point I wanted him to pass as fast as possible, seeing him suffer and in pain just made me want to know hes resting and at peace.

20 minutes before he passed he started yelling, screaming softly, almost yelping, gasping for air in a way. Its so difficult to describe. He gave up on keeping himself up, and just layed there continuing to gasp every few minutes and twitching his body to be in a curled up form.

He took his last breath with one last gasp and twitch up, almost convulsing. I held him and felt his heart beat die out and his organs stop working. An almost relief went over my body, seeing him suffer, I felt better knowing he wasnt struggling. It was exhausting on his little body.

The night before when he went back to his burrow, i researched on why his behavior was the way it was. Alot of different sites gave different answers but I often saw strokes as a cause. I watched some videos of hamsters having/recovering from strokes and those babies displayed Ads behavior, and it gave me lots of hope overnight, in hopes he can recover and live happily. Of course that didnt happen.

It happened so slowly yet so suddenly. I feel so lost and lonely, I cant even grieve in peace as my grandma just came from poland to usa and I have to sit with her watching her all day. I wish I could have one last good day with him. To part ways peacefully. Ill always miss him.

Its not fair, but its the cycle of life.

Rest in peace Ad, the only Ad id never skip.

September 18th 2020 - June 26th 2022