[Lilafernim]

I think serendipity has written that absolutely perfectly of how it feels, I totally agree.

There’s a thread on here I started called ‘one year old hamster died with bloated tummy’ it’s actually my first post and I’ve learnt a lot since then. I’m sure people must get annoyed with me always going on about her but I am really so thankful for this forum as you might be able to find. You’ll also see what I mess I felt that day 😅

I had hamsters when I was younger, but Dafdaf my previous hamster was incredibly special to me. We’ve really not had a good few years, even now we struggle a lot but it made Dafdaf even more important to me. She seemed to actually understand me, when I was sad she’d come up to the cage door and stare at me somehow and I’d get her out and she’d scent mark me constantly lol.

We used to watch films together and she’d fall asleep on me. When I had dinner she used to sit on my plate and serve hers on my plate so we could eat together. She was unique and one day my partner thought he felt lumps on her side. Because they were so parallel I thought maybe it was her tummy being bloated or leg muscles but I thought I’d just keep an eye out for her. The next morning she was still okay, she was walking slowly but eating and drinking still.

In the afternoon her stomach had erupted and it was too late to call a vets. She actually died that night at home in our arms. As from the thread title you can guess mine was only a year old when this happened. She hadn’t shown any signs of illness before the previous morning either. I cried about it yesterday, I get teary eyed writing this now, it’s been over a month now and it still saddens me.

I honestly don’t think you ever get fully over it, or ever truly accept it, but you do learn to cherish the good times and not dwell on the bad so much. I buried mine wrapped in her hammock to keep her warm and surrounded her with cashews as she loved them. So agree with serendipity a nice burial helps (I was worried I’d have to chase squirrels from digging the cashews up though I won’t lie!) and I do have a string attached, sometimes it feels more like a weighted chain lol but like serendipity says I’d rather have her string attached to me heart than not. I’m so happy I met her and looked after her.

It also helped a lot adopting a new hamster as I feel Dafdaf was happy to see me looking after a hamster who hadn’t had such a good life. Maybe doing this will help you also.

Wishing you all the best, so sorry for your losses x