Thank you dear Souffle, I was unable to answer sooner but I read your words when you posted them and they helped. Grief comes and goes and it's been only over a day now and it's so hard.
Thank you, yes it's likely the vet couldn't have done anything.
Yet my partner and I keep beating ourselves up on the idea that we let Bruce down and that we "should" have brought him to the vet - but when exactly?
How could we have known it was so bad? I fear he suffered and we didn't realize. Remembering the events, there was not one day where it was clear we needed a vet and failed to do so.
May I share some videos of this last week to show what I mean.
This is him on Monday. My partner was cleaning his cage so we temporarily put him in this container with his toys. The chirping sound he made a lot the week before - but had mostly stopped this week - can be heard at around 10s, and 20s. Are these pain sounds? But his behaviour is totally normal as shows the rest of the video...
2021-01-18 Bruce Chirping - YouTube
This is him on Monday too eating his half peanut in my hand. Looks content and well to me
202101-18 Bruce Peanut - YouTube
This was Wednesday evening, it is the little massage we gave him gently in these last days. He doesn't make noise and doesn't really like it but he also is lively and well.
2021-01-20 Bruce tummy massage short - YouTube
And Thursday evening, giving him a bit of yoghurt. He's still running, not making noise. I think we had woken him up hence he looks a bit clumsy.
2021-01-21 Bruce Yoghurt short - YouTube
I have one last video of him where we try to examine his tummy on Thursday too and we saw he wasn't too clean/fur was a bit greasy underneath, but also he was going to pass stool so we thought onsitpation was getting better.
And Saturday morning, my partner saw him running on the wheel at 10h30, and two hours later he was gone.
And attached is how he had reduced his food to powder - which I am now thinking maybe it was a coping mechanism for pain? Or he had internal blockages?
I apologize for being lengthy and perhaps repeating myself. I wish I had found this forum sooner. It helps to talk about it to realize it has happened.
Thanks for any info. Next time this happens I want to know what to do.
<3