[Pebbles82]

It is a big change in your lives when your friend is leaving home and moving in with a boyfriend and that in itself may change your relationship with her - so it is a situation to tread carefully with. Sometimes people take suggestions as criticism that they are doing something wrong. If your friend didn’t answer it may be because she doesn’t want to discuss it - in which case it may be better to just leave things for now. I also find it strange that she doesn’t just take the hamster with her. It may be her boyfriend doesn’t want that or her parents are having some input as well.

I know when a boyfriend and I rented a house together a long time ago and started living together - his hamster came too and there was no question of not bringing the hamster - he would not dream of letting him go. I didn’t mind and got very attached to the hamster.

It could be a space issue - in which case your friend might be finding it all quite hard - choosing between her boyfriend and her hamster - and her parents may have come up with this solution. I can quite see your concern for the hamster if he is just babysat basically without much interaction. He would probably do ok as long as his basic needs were met. But ideally he’d have a loving owner who had time for him and if he was adopted by one it might be fairer in him.

It must also be quite a big thing for you. It sounds like you and your friend had hamsters in common and that is changing now she is moving in with her boyfriend. It can be a heady time and her priorities and loyalties may have changed also. It shouldn’t be like that as important to keep up friendships as well but if they are very into each other right now it can happen.

I am not sure there is much you can do other than leave it a few days, send her a “good luck in your new home” card. I think she isn’t ready to let go of the hamster but may changed her mind later.