[Gemma_xo]

Hello everyone, thank you. I am honestly humbled by all of your kind words.

Things are still a little raw. I cleaned her cage when I got home from the vets and wrote the dates I was lucky enough to have her from and to on her house & that's now safely in a keep safe box. My heart yearns to see her running around in her cage or at the glass looking for a fuss. But then I see an empty cage and I remember she's gone. My friends are absolutely heart broken too, they loved Tinkerbell so dearly, dare I say they favoured her, but still love Pixie.

I keep telling myself once Pixie goes that's it, I can't do this every 2 or so years, I can't let myself go through the agony of losing another ham, but I love them so much and I know I can offer many more a loving home (and I've the supplies for a hamster Amy in my living room too), but then I just remind myself of how I feel now and how I can't do it again, and I can easily pass the supplies on because this hurts so bad, I know it'll get easier in time, but for now getting another hamster and putting them in 'Tinkerbell's cage' (the cage was made for her especially) just haunts me, I can't replace her, I can't simply get another and expect him or her to fill the void she's left..

It just all seems so hard and the indecisiveness is killing me even more.
I don't know what to do, I've never lost an animal that's all mine before :/ x