AprilPearl, I'm so so sorry
This is such shocking news
AP, this was in no way your fault. I don't like being clinical when consoling people, but it sounds to me as if something internally went wrong. I am sure it had absolutely nothing to do with you. You are a loving, caring, and extremely diligent ham parent and I know you'd never be at fault. Please do not blame yourself for what has happened. When I lost my first ever hamster, Remington, she died in the same way. I cried for so long and never wanted another hamster again. I was convinced that I had killed her somehow, I thought I had done something wrong and felt so guilty. However, when I spoke to my vet over what had happened, they shared that bleeding from the mouth/nose/rear is typically indicative of an internal issue that generally is unable to be detected.
It's crucial you understand that it's impossible for you to be there every moment, and Mushu knew that. Mushu had a special bond with you quite clearly, allowing you to stroke and hold him at any time. You gave him everything a hamster could ever ask for, and you loved him so much. He had a better life with you than he did in P@H and one he might have had if he had been adopted by anyone else.
Please take the time to heal and acknowledge your pain, but also know that you shouldn't blame yourself. Take care of yourself please, Mushu would like you to care for yourself as you did with him. If you ever need anything, everyone here has grown to love Mushu and will always be here for support X
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Grief...pport_Home.htm
(This website
really helped me through the loss of my dog and all my rainbow hams, please give it a try if you're feeling down)
Play well at the bridge little Mushu