[cypher]

Of course you want him back, it is very hard when we lose them & we all deal with our grief differently but it will always take time, you have to allow yourself to go through the process, hold on to the fact that in time you will be able to cherish the memories you will always have without so much pain.
Sometimes bringing a new little one in need of a good home into your heart can help but for some people that takes time, remember though we have space in our heart for more hams to love, we are never replacing the ones that have gone to the bridge.
If you haven't cleared away his things yet don't feel you have to rush, you need to do everything at the time that is right for you.
If you can plant something or make a little memorial that can help, as the others suggested writing something down about your feelings or even writing to your ham telling him how much you love him & cherish the time you had together can be helpful.
Just knowing that there are so many people hear who care & understand our grief has always helped me too.