Oh I can understand how you feel, and it is hard. Best thing would be to try and get to a hamster show sometime soon, where one of the lovely members will be able to show you there is nothing to fear. It takes courage as although bites are small they are pretty painful especially if they catch the wrong bit - like the side of your fingernail
Also the longer your hamster is untouched the more scared she will likely be and therefore more aware of your nervousness and your chances of being bitten are possibly raised. I hate the use of gloves but maybe they would help you just get that little initial boost you need? Try popping her in the bath with an old towel to line the bottom and just let her sniff your clenched fist and then slowly work up to picking her up very slightly and letting her go again keeping your fingers away from her mouth. Don't worry if it takes you three weeks to get to the stage where you can actually bring yourself to lift her up a few millimetres. Good luck and stay calm... what's the worst that can happen... a bite will heal and only hurt for a few hours at most and just think of the love and satisfaction you will get from your little one.