I've killed my rabbit by accident

[Queen Of The High Teas]

I feel so upset and guilty, my bunny's dead and it's all my fault. Yesterday I was out in the shed seeing to the pets, I was trying to move stuff about and kick out a lid which had gone under the chinchilla cage and I caugh my rabbit by mistake (not hard, or so I thought). I scooped her up to say sorry and check her, but she must've got spooked as she sort of lurched out of my arms scratching, and I accidentally dropped her and she landed on her stomach. I put her out in the garden and apart from being a bit quiet she seemed ok so I thought nothing more of it other than she was a bit shook up, until I went to put her back much later and she suddenly went funny. She went all floppy and limp then dropped onto her side with tremors running through her, her breathing went to nothing and her mouth was blue and white. She wouldn't eat or drink anything and her heartbeat was practically gone, so I said I was sorry to her over and over and that I loved her, before telling her goodbye and leaving her to go in peace. I felt certain she would be gone in minutes after I'd left, but to my amazement she was still alive first thing this morning so I rushed her to the vets who were going to give her various stuff and call me later in the morning to see if anything could be done. I got a call a couple of hours later to say she'd died and that the cause was most probably internal bleeding. I don't know if the fall killed her or the kick or a combination of both. I never meant to harm her. I've said I'm sorry to her over and over again whilst burying her, but it feels worthless as it won't bring her back. I feel so horrifically guilty, knowing she'd still be alive if it wasn't for me. I've killed my beautiful little bunny, I'll never ever forgive myself for as long as I live and I don't know how to cope with it.

[Snowz]

OH NO! That must had been so difficult to cope with. Sometimes things happen that we never will forgive ourselves for, but you got to let it go as much as you feel upset I am sure that your bunny would forgive you. Don't feel bad as it was all a accident!

[BrainGirl]

Oh no, I'm so sorry :'( Bunnies are super sensitive creatures and it doesn't take much I'm afraid, plus they're exceptionally good at hiding illness and pain until it's too late to help them. I hope you can come to terms with it in time. Accidents happen and we can kick ourselves all we want but it won't make the pain go away. I lost my balance once and broke my chinchilla's leg. I got her to the vet within 15 minutes and she healed up just fine but I still feel terrible. That was years ago and the thought of it still gives me the creeping horrors. I have to take care of them though so I'm just extra careful how I move around them and don't put myself in a situation where I have to move quickly and risk dizziness again.

[Piebald]

Oh you poor thing! Look you loved your bunny and it was an accident. Your bunny had a good life with you. That is more than many many other's fate. Do forgive yourself. It is very sad but you are not a bad person because of it. Maybe in time it might help you heal to help out at some bunny rescues. I'm sure your bunny knows it was an accident and forgives you so do the same for yourself. I'm so so sorry.

[Shannonmcn]

So sorry to hear that QOTHT you did your absolute best for your bunny and you can't stop freak accidents like that happening. I hope you are able to forgive yourself, nobody at all would ever blame you for what happened, not even your little bunny.

[Scarlett Empress]

I'm so, so sorry and can't imagine how you must be feeling - sending you lots of hugs. Please try to forgive yourself, this was an accident and you did what you could for your bunny. xxx

[Coco61]

You are obviously a loving and and caring animal owner. If you own a variety of animals over many years, you will have to cope with many misfortunes. There will be illnesses, misadventures and accidents along the way. None of us can be perfect owners and sometimes it seems so unfair when we meant no harm. Some of us here will have had such experiences.
Emotions will be raw for a while. Let the tears flow as part of the healing process. Eventually you must forgive yourself as lifelong blame will do you and your other animals no good at all. Sometimes things happen and we do not understand the reason why. I hope you find peace in time. *hugs*

[racinghamster]

Such a shock and a personal tragedy for you Queen Of The High Teas, I feel so sorry you have had to got through such torment. Accidents happen and most of us have made them in our time. Remember too that many rabbits suffer neglect and die due to that neglect and bad ownership. Your bunny was much loved and what happened was an accident. Rabbits can be such fragile creatures even though they seem tough. Think positively and get it off your chest. Remember her with love. x

[Queen Of The High Teas]

Thank you for all your kind words. I am still feeling extremely bad and upset over this, I almost feel like I've no right to grieve for her because it's my own fault she's dead. It's a horrible awful feeling and I really do hope it will fade in time, it will never leave me, but I'm hoping it will become more deal-able. I've buried her in the garden in a spot under the trees, very close to where my previous buns are (her two companions), hopefully she is happily back with them, and that one day I can tell her I'm sorry. I know it sounds silly but I am a firm believer in karma, and I can't help but have the awful thought that if you somehow cause your pet's demise your never allowed it back as punishment off God for damaging one of his creatures. Daft I know but I can't help it. I honestly don't know how some people can deliberately hurt or kill something, I'm twisting myself in knots with guilt and I never meant any harm.

[Piebald]

I can understand you must be terribly upset but that is not at all what karma is about. To the contrary you are firmly in Gods good grace for being so caring. I believe you will meet your bunny again in some way-- some times they come back to you in another life-- and you will see then there is no grudge or anger. Daft I know but I can't help it. XX Forgive yourself.