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Old 09-08-2020, 03:34 PM   #1
Rashy
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Default Disrespectful?

I`m the only one in the house who has a genuin interes for hamsters. It started with one hamster. My boyfriends has said that that one hamster is enough. Now we do have 4 and I got the message that when our oldest die, he dont want any 4th hamster in the house. Is it disrespectful to get a 4th one?
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Old 09-08-2020, 03:58 PM   #2
Amethyst_ice
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Default Re: Disrespectful?

I think that is a conversation you need to have with your partner. He may have reasons for not wanting more suhc as time, space or finances but mine was the same and I was the primary caregiver so it didn't really make a difference in the end. Only you know your home situation but open communication is the best thing
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Old 09-09-2020, 02:44 PM   #3
Serendipity7000
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Default Re: Disrespectful?

My OH put his foot down at two hamsters. I occasionally dither about getting a third but wouldn’t do it without persuading him!

It is the kind of thing you do need to agree on really. Having said that sometimes people say no more but come round to the idea with some reasonable explanation. My OH’s biggest objection to more than two is the space for cages and space needed for other things - which we also need as a family. However if I come up with a solution for a third cage in another room I will absolutely say - I want to adopt this hamster and can fit the cage here. The only argument that would be accepted though is that one of the current two is getting old and may not be around in a few months time.

Your situation is slightly different. You already have four and would want to get another one if one passes. To still have four. Your partner is preferring to keep it down to three.

It means compromise somewhere. I think it would be seen as disrespectful if you just got another one when he has said no more. But it wouldn’t be if you have a conversation about it and explain why you still want to have four and both listen to each other’s points of view and see if you can reach agreement.

Believe me we have had some differences of opinion where it has ended up sitting down with a pen and paper and writing out our reasons and swapping them! Someone has to give in. Ie someone has to compromise. But there can be a “deal”. If you say - ok if I have four hamsters I accept you keeping your bike in the kitchen until we get a shed (not a good example but you get what I mean). Or I accept you getting the new bike you want. Or you could say ok I accept I will keep it to three hamsters only if you will agree to do/not do xyz (something that bugs you!)
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Old 09-11-2020, 05:46 AM   #4
Rashy
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Default Re: Disrespectful?

Some says no to more than one hamster because they are loners and what is the point of having more than one. Space when its playtime is small.
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Old 09-11-2020, 12:03 PM   #5
Vierville
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Default Re: Disrespectful?

Hamsters should be part of the family, so in my mind everybody in the family should agree to having them. If there is disagreement over having a hamster or getting more hamsters, this could lead to conflict later on over things like time spent caring for the hamster/s, money spent on vet bills, wheel noise etc...
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Old 09-14-2020, 12:54 AM   #6
Ithuviel
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Default Re: Disrespectful?

I wouldn't get that hamster if there is conflict about it
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