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Old 05-02-2016, 06:39 AM   #1
pinkneon
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Default Other people ...

How do you tell someone to back off and leave your pet alone without being rude?
Please remember that I have to live with this person for the moment, so I need to be careful what I say without running the risk of being kicked out ...
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Old 05-02-2016, 06:44 AM   #2
CMB
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Default Re: Other people ...

Suggest they get their own hamster if they like yours so much.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:03 AM   #3
Hammy992
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Default Re: Other people ...

Maybe you could explain that he is still getting accustomed to being handled and given attention by even you, his owner, and that having anyone he isn't familiar with putting their hands in or around his cage causes him stress. Also add that hamsters become scared if they are woken up/disturbed while sleeping or having time to themselves in their cage
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:03 AM   #4
pinkneon
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Default Re: Other people ...

Haha!
It's more them telling me what to do or not to do with him! Or what to feed him / not feed him, even though those things he can't have! (Eg, banana skins!) I have tried ignoring them but am getting to the point where I am going to snap soon ...!
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:14 AM   #5
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Default Re: Other people ...

Do what they are doing to, Sweep, to them and see how they like it On a more serious note though, I'd take steps to stop them if warnings and talks are falling on death ears.

Last edited by zak; 05-02-2016 at 07:23 AM.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:25 AM   #6
WinnieTheHam
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Default Re: Other people ...

Just say you appreciate their advice, but it's your hamster and you will look after him the way you feel is best and that you have got your knowledge on hamsters from highly experienced owners on a forum, and that you feel their advice is best. He's your responsibility, not theirs.
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Old 05-02-2016, 07:28 AM   #7
velma
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Default Re: Other people ...

I think the best way is to not be confrontational - saying things like "don't do this or that" as part of a "we need to talk" conversation can be seen as negative and get some people's back up. I think a possible way of dealing with it to to make them think they are helping you out. you could be sat on the sofa having a general chit chat and drop your hammie into the conversation - make it about your learning curve and not theirs so they don't feel attacked (because has when people stop listening). Something along the lines of how much you're enjoying your hamster but wow, haven't things changed in the last few years and you feel like you're learning all over again. It's amazing what you've found they can/can't eat etc etc. And then you can say something like you've been chatting to some people who breed and show hamsters about how to tame them best. How their behaviour in the wild of being hunted affects how you get them to trust you and that sort of thing. You could invent a routine (feeding, handling, cleaning etc) that you feel has to be stuck to and explain how important that is and if they'd like to help that's be great but it must adhere to the routine so you "don't get set back with your progress". That could help?
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Old 05-03-2016, 01:14 AM   #8
oddlyoblivious
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Default Re: Other people ...

People /hate/ being told they are wrong usually, and often you'll get a lot of 'well intention-ed' bad advice. I would say to ignore it, but it's harder when you live with them. Velma's suggestion is wonderful, it gives them a way to save face.

Depending on what your relationship with this person is, (parent, Significant other, sibling, roommate.) It may be easier to set healthy boundaries. Keeping Sweep some where out of sight and out of mind so to speak. That way that well intended advice can get dropped in lieu of some other form of conversation.

It may also be easier just to change the subject and deflect.

If all else fails imagine shoving that person in-front of a horde of zombies. It might not help but you can smile while they yammer away.
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Old 05-03-2016, 03:10 AM   #9
pinkneon
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Default Re: Other people ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by oddlyoblivious View Post
People /hate/ being told they are wrong usually, and often you'll get a lot of 'well intention-ed' bad advice. I would say to ignore it, but it's harder when you live with them. Velma's suggestion is wonderful, it gives them a way to save face.

Depending on what your relationship with this person is, (parent, Significant other, sibling, roommate.) It may be easier to set healthy boundaries. Keeping Sweep some where out of sight and out of mind so to speak. That way that well intended advice can get dropped in lieu of some other form of conversation.

It may also be easier just to change the subject and deflect.

If all else fails imagine shoving that person in-front of a horde of zombies. It might not help but you can smile while they yammer away.
Lol!
Sweep is kept in my room but they are always coming in to "talk" to me. Yesterday they let the cat in whilst I was in the shower and I got angry. I have told them many many times that I do not want the cat near Sweep but they were like "oh welk the hamster is asleep and the cat can't get to him etc etc" ... The cat may be old and unlikely to jump upnthere but he is still a predatoe compared to Sweep! And then this person picked up the cat and held him near the cage, so he could look in! So of course I flipped!
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Old 05-03-2016, 03:49 AM   #10
flowerfairy
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Default Re: Other people ...

Sounds like they enjoy winding you up. Must be hard to live with.
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