Dealing with the loss of a pet

[xbuttons94]

Hi everyone. I hope I posted this in the right section. As some of you might know I lost Lexi in January. She went through surgery to remove a tumour and recovered from that well but a week later she developed 2 more and we thought it was best to let her go. Sometimes I think... was it a tumour? Did I do the right thing? I think I did because she wasn't herself and the vet thought it was the kindest thing to do.

I keep dreaming about the day she crossed the bridge and the dreams are making it harder to deal with her loss. I really miss her and I don't want to hurt anymore. The people around me don't seem to understand. I guess I just want to know how others have dealt with the loss of a pet? I thought I was doing okay but these dreams make it feel like it happened yesterday. I might make a memory box for her. I'm not sure what will help. I think I just need someone to talk to. I loved my little Lexi-Lou and the 18 months she was with us was the greatest x

[cypher]

I can imagine how hard you're finding the loss of Lexi, it's always hard but I've found the loss of some much harder than others, partly depending on the individual but also on the circumstances of their loss.
It does sound as though on some level you're still questioning your decision, maybe doubting that you did all you could & possibly blaming yourself, all natural feelings but those do tend to pass with time.
I think making memory boxes, creating a nice memorial spot where if you're like me you can sit & talk to them (my neighbours probably think I'm nuts!) they live on in our hearts but having things like photos around can be comforting.
Ultimately I think you have to make peace with yourself, know you did everything you could for her, made the right choice out of love & that she would have wanted nothing more or less from you.
We all grieve in our own way, no one can tell you how or how long it will take for the pain to ease until you reach the point where you remember the love & happiness without feeling the loss in the same way but it does happen with time.

[essentiallysue]

That is a really nice response. I too feel your pain. I am almost 79 and have been a pet lover all my life, ever since I was 2 years old, and have lost many pets that I felt so close to.
When I was a little girl, my Dad would see I was grieving over the loss of my beloved pet, and he would get me another one. At first, it seemed cruel because I felt no new one could ever replace the one I had lost. But as I grew older, I found the love of another pet could help and in time, it was the same, I loved and lost again. I always remembered my Dad's remedy and always got another one.
I think God put in us the ability to communicate and love animals and He knew how loss would feel to us. And because of that, He made all animals lovable. At least, this is what I have found.
I grieve, I bury in a special way, and then when I am ready, I get another one to love. I look at it that the new one needs me, and focus on that, until I fall in love again. This is my way, I hope it helps.

[xbuttons94]

Thank you both for your very comforting words. It has helped a lot, especially today. I think it is going to take me some time but I will do something nice for her to remember her by. I keep thinking about where she might be now. I like to imagine a place of warmth, happiness and lots of treats and friends for her!

I have 2 Robo boys and a cat. I am upgrading the boys cages and getting them new toys. They turned 1 yesterday so that was a happy day I do miss having a Syrian but for now I'm going to focus on the three I have and when I'm ready I think I will know. I have found a rescue centre near me so I know where I will get my next little one from.

[flowerfairy]

Lovely responses. I think a memory box is a wonderful idea. You could write Lexi a letter or poem to go into it. RIP Lexi.

[Rsclio197]

I was going to suggest writing a letter or a poem. Maybe a write to Lexi In a diary and tell her what your up to on a daily basis, and ask how she's doing .

It's never easy losing a pet, personally I get more upset losing a pet than a family member. I know it sounds silly, maybe it's because pets can't tell you how they feel and the fact they just aren't given long enough to live. Life is unfair.

Hope your ok

[xbuttons94]

I think writing to her is a great idea. Thanks! I still get upset talking about her. I'll have a look for a nice notebook when I am next in town and I'll use it to write to her

[pinkneon]

Originally Posted by Rsclio197

I was going to suggest writing a letter or a poem. Maybe a write to Lexi In a diary and tell her what your up to on a daily basis, and ask how she's doing .

It's never easy losing a pet, personally I get more upset losing a pet than a family member. I know it sounds silly, maybe it's because pets can't tell you how they feel and the fact they just aren't given long enough to live. Life is unfair.

Hope your ok

That doesn't sound silly at all! I've been the same. For me I think I find that because hamsters don't live very long they are harder to let go of if that makes sense?
Like essentiallysue when we were kids and we lost a pet we'd get another, though not immediately. I think we were usually made to wait at least a couple of weeks - which when you're a kid is always difficult! But in some ways that was more helpful than going to get a new one immediately because it meant that we had time to grieve and then once we got our new one we could focus completely on them. As an adult I guess I will have to make a decision one day about how soon I'd want another.
Some animals seem to be closer to us than others, just like people are. But I just wanted to say that I am sure Lexi knew you did everything possible for her and that you loved her very much.
I promise one day the pain will go, but it will take time.
Sending hugs x

[xbuttons94]

Thank you pinkneon. When I was a kid I didn't really get too upset when any of my pets passed. I'm not sure why. As an adult, I get upset when other people's pets has pass and when Lexi passed it was awful. I don't think it was her time but she fought until the very end. She wanted to keep going and I could see that but I didn't want to risk her lumps getting bigger and her struggling. Putting her through more major surgeries wouldn't have been fair. It is hard to tell if they are hurting or not but since she slept all the time and wouldn't come out of her house, I made the decision. I think I will always question whether or not I did the right thing but the vet said she wouldn't have been able to operate as the second one was in her mouth. I have a feeling that Lexi thinks I made the right choice for her. I will always remember that little girl and cherish our memories

[Piebald]

I think writing to her is a great idea.
You've lost a friend and that is difficult to adjust to. A little private conversation might make it easier. xx