Advice needed about my job

[a_small_pineapple]

I had a job like that once, it was horrendous and I don't have other anxiety issues.
Getting yourself out of an unhealthy situation is the important thing but also to remember that not every job is like that... try to stay positive about finding something new and better!
Two days after I was fired (for no reason!) from my worst job, I got a phonecall from somewhere else I'd applied offering me more hours at a better wage, and the people I worked with were all friendly and helpful.

If you don't need them as a reference then you don't even need to mention that job in an application for anywhere else, just forget about them and move on to better things.

[BrainGirl]

Good luck I had other ideas of what you could do but they've come from years of experience. Looking back I really don't think I could have applied then what I know now. The fact that it was your supervisor and someone older than you makes it extremely difficult when you're young. Society demands that we defer to anyone older than us and it's an extremely uncomfortable feeling when you have to stand up to someone for the first time. No wonder you're anxious!

Don't berate yourself for finding your own job; that takes a HUGE amount of courage. You've done it once you can do it again so go out there and find a job you really like!

[Serena]

Thanks you two I can't tell you how much it means that you've replied. I feel so down at the moment as nothing seems to be going right. I don't need them as reference as I already have two. My only problem is I feel like I'm letting my parents down but they will just have to understand. I'm still young and can live without the money until I find something better. Money is not everything to me. I really couldn't stay there another second. Ive applied for about 10 jobs in the past two days 5 of those are today.

[BrainGirl]

Great! Putting yourself out there is very important and not needing to work is a big plus let me tell ya

As for your parents, just tell them what you've said here. No job is worth your health and it sounds like you've had the maturity to recognize that and do something about it, in spite of the discomfort.

[Serena]

Thanks BrianGirl 5 minutes till I have to go to work and I've still not told my dad

[lenarenee]

If a manager and a mature adult in their 40's are making comments like that, then that is not a healthy work environment! You should have been welcomed, encouraged to ask questions, and given plenty of time to learn the ropes.

You did a good thing by recognizing you needed to leave, despite the possibility of disappointing your parents. In order to take care of yourself, you need to put yourself first. Congratulations.

Please keep us updated; if you don't mind. We're on your side!!

[Serena]

lenarenee you are so right, thank you. I have told my dad, phew! He seems to understand and said it's not worth it if it's making me unhappy. The next hurdle is telling my mum which I don't think she'll be too happy. Fingers crossed it goes okay.

[racinghamster]

It`s so difficult to know which jobs are right and which jobs are wrong. Placements are not the problem, it can be the snooty staff that work there!

I have a friend who lives in Essex but recently got a job at a London university. She has always worked in London for law firms doing library work and after being made redundant, it took her just over a year to find this job and guess what? She has worked there for seven months and already has been pulled up about `not pulling her weight` so to speak. She was gutted to say the least and her `manager` is not a nice person. She is already applying for other jobs that she prefers to do, but although getting interviews, she`s not getting the jobs. She`s actually considering just quitting because she is so deflated with the whole experience and I can`t say I blame her.

I feel for anyone in these situations, trying to make ends meet and do their very best, but not being treated as worthy or part of the team. I`m 47 now and have been in and out of work and I know what a rollercoaster it can be mentally.

Serena, the one thing you need to keep at the forefront of your mind, is YOU should have the last say if you are not feeling happy with a situation. Stress can harm your health, so walk away from it if that`s how it makes you feel....or walk up to the people who think they are smart and from day one, let them know you are no wallflower! And if they don`t explain to or train their staff well, then they are not worth working for in the first place. x

[Serena]

racinghamster go tell your friend to leave her job, it's not worth her staying. It's nice to know someone who is older than me who has been in a similar situation. I feel like when am I ever going to get it right job wise, everyone that I know are in jobs that they seem to like but I'm always the one who gets the worst jobs with the worst people. I know out there is a right job for me but I just don't know what it is yet. If I could have a job looking after hamster all day then I'd be sorted.

[racinghamster]

I know what you mean honey. The retirement age keeps being pushed up as well which doesn`t help people like me who hoped they would retire at 66! So that`s gone awol by the looks of things. I also believe that sometimes looking at minimum wage jobs but on part time or temporary contracts can mean you get enough to manage on (as long as you are not looking for sky-high wages that is) and can be happy, rather than looking too hard for full time, difficult to manage jobs but look more at the wage than what is being asked of you.

If I had a job that paid me roughly £145.00 a week, I could manage on that. As long as I got help with my Housing benefit and the job was part time (due to my pain issues) I might just manage. But even finding a job these days is hard enough!

I look at what my outgoing are (gas/electric/broadband/living costs) and then see what that amounts to. I then account for bus fares and other odds and ends and then I look at what kind of weekly wage would cover all these without leaving me with nothing afterwards. Writing all these down helps because budgeting is a must these days. x