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Old 06-22-2018, 12:50 AM   #1
jonesag
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Default Smoosh

I joined this forum to find some closure from other hamster owners. When I was in college I developed severe anxiety. Due to my living situation, I wasn't allowed to have any large animals to help me cope, so I opted on a small little dwarf hamster. She was dropped off at my local pet shop the day after Christmas because the kids didn't want her. So I took her in.

Her name was Smoosh. She was my adventure buddy. That's what I called her. I was told to be prepared because hamsters only live about 2-3 years. Well she would have been 4 in October.

We traveled everywhere together. She was a hamster that loved car rides and tortilla chips. If I was going to sleep over a friend's house, I brought her with me. We traveled up and down the east coast, visiting almost 10 states together. She was a firecracker of a personality. She gave me kisses on the nose and we'd have breakfast together every morning. She'd get a piece of fruit and I'd have my oatmeal.

When I moved across the country for grad school, she came with me and I could tell the years were catching up to her. She developed some arthritis in her hips and some small cataracts, but she was still as lively as ever, hobbling around the best she could. I started to prepare myself. She was just about 3 at that point so every day was a gift.

This morning, I found her very lethargic. She did not accept any of her favorite foods and only minimal amounts of water. But being my adventure buddy, she didn't want to be left alone and only wanted to sit in the warmth of my hand. I held her for 10 hours before I put her in her favorite strawberry hide and went to sleep, with her cage right beside my bed.

It's 4AM now. I found her about 2 hours ago with her little bum sticking out of one of her crawly tubes, as if she was trying to get one last hoorah out of her enclosure.

The hole in my heart is large and I feel hollow. I'm hoping to find some solace here, because I've never felt more alone. She wasn't just a hamster. She was my Smoosh.
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Old 06-22-2018, 03:20 AM   #2
souffle
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Default Re: Smoosh

I am so very sorry for your loss. She was so very much loved and your shared life sounds like it was wonderful. In time it won't hurt quite so much and you will be able to smile at the memories.
Look out for a rainbow or a white feather from her angel wings. She will send you one of these when she is settled.
Thinking of you x
Run free at the bridge Smoosh x
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Old 06-22-2018, 04:06 AM   #3
cypher
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Default Re: Smoosh

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Smoosh was a beautiful girl & you had a very special bond with her, it is heartbreaking when they go to the rainbow bridge but take comfort knowing you gave her a wonderful life full of love, it does take time but it will get easier & she will always live in your heart as you remember your time together.

Run free & enjoy your adventures at the bridge little Smoosh.
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Old 06-22-2018, 06:19 PM   #4
dreamtree1234
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Default Re: Smoosh

I am SO sorry for your loss. Smoosh was absolutely lovely, and the two of you shared an amazing, loving bond with one another. The two of you created years worth of happy and cherished memories together that will live on in your heart always. In time, those memories will help to heal your broken heart and knowing that you gave her an incredible life filled with infinite love and care will help to give you peace. She will now watch over you as your beloved, fur angel. We are here for you, and my heart goes out to you during this very sad and emotional time. Hugs to you.

May you have grand adventures at the bridge, precious Smoosh. Please send a lovely rainbow to your loved one who misses you so.
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Old 06-25-2018, 04:57 AM   #5
Thin Lizzy
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Default Re: Smoosh

Smoosh was so beautiful and you gave her a wonderful life of kindness and love. She went peacefully in your arms and is at peace. Big hugs to you at this sad time.
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Old 06-29-2018, 12:11 AM   #6
jonesag
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Default Re: Smoosh

I want to thank everyone for their support in this hard time. I'm still not completely settled, but it's getting easier. I've made her a stepping stone and placed it over her burial site in my garden.

I'm persevering despite all this. Recently, a good friend of mine shared a photo of a hamster at my local animal shelter that was getting passed over for adoption due to his age (he's a full grown adult). So unlike the baby hamsters they had, he wasn't getting a home. I thought it was too soon for me and it was a really tough decision but I figured he'd be better off with me than at a shelter. So he's home with me now. He may look like Smoosh but he's nothing like her. It still hurts to see him using all her old toys and hides, but a part of me is glad she was able to pass them down to other hams in need.

I've been calling him Gimli for the time being, he's very skittish and severely overweight as of right now, but those are things we will work on together. I pray that Smoosh will support him on this new adventure.
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Old 06-29-2018, 01:04 AM   #7
cypher
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Default Re: Smoosh

It's lovely that you've given Gimli the home that he deserves, I'm sure Smoosh will be smiling down at you from the bridge happy that you've opened your heart & your home to another ham now. We never stop loving the hams that have been before but our hearts just grow bigger & find room for more.
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Old 06-30-2018, 03:01 AM   #8
Thin Lizzy
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Default Re: Smoosh

You are kind hearted, taking on Gimli, your friend is so right about him being better off with you as you have so much love to offer.
I so agree with what Cypher said.
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