RIP Mushu

[AprilPearl]

Amity & Golden_Syrian_Hammies I’m glad you don’t think I am going completely mad... I looked up “grief spending” and turns out it’s a real thing. I don’t think that is what I am doing, though, because what I bought is all very specific. Whenever I do get another hamster, it will be used.

I cleared out all of Mushu’s food and treats today. That was tough, because it reminded me that he never got to finish them. But, it’s done now.

I’m getting the pictures I never managed to print printed too. They will go in the album I begun. One day, I will be able to look back on them and be happy.

I am throwing out everything he ever used. His wheel, toys, even opened substrate packs, treats and food. I know that he is unlikely to have died from a disease because he was so well literally up until seconds before he died and I had been weighing him and doing a health check weekly which had shown no gradual deterioration or anything. But, I’m still petrified of anything like that happening again. Just in case I do get another hamster, I am getting a new silent runner, bowl, hideout, toys, chews, substrate, treats, playpen, food etc - and obviously there is already the new cage that Mushu never got to use. I just cannot and will not risk another hamster somehow catching any bug which (however unlikely) could have caused Mushu’s death. I would rather go over the top and be safe rather than re use all Mushus things and be sorry for it. Maybe I am being neurotic, but the way Mushu passed was just so awful and I still feel traumatised by it.

[Pebbles82]

I think it's all perfectly normal April. Throwing things away helps with painful reminders as well. I did some of that, but I kept ceramic things and some plastic things, that could be washed, and Newtie is enjoying them now.

I struggled with the grief for a bit and started this thread which has some useful links that help you deal with it - especially the link from Souffle to the Blue Cross Bereavement Service. I also went through a strange phase where I ordered lots of things for a new cage (I thought for a new hammie I was planning) but then kept forgetting I wasn't doing it for Charlie. It's just your brain adjusting I ended up using most of them, I just kept forgetting why I was doing it. The good thing is I had everything ready and prepared when I got the next hamster, and had plenty of time to freeze food and other items before using them. Be careful with the spending though You can always send some things back if you change your mind. These articles really helped me process things.

Pet loss - where to find help, tips and comfort on the loss of a pet.

[AprilPearl]

Serendipity thank you. Glad it’s not just me to suddenly go all shopaholic. With the ceramic and plastic things, I do know they can be washed - but I worry that wouldn’t be enough (no, I am not usually OCD by the way!). Theres part of me which feels as though if, next time, I am even even even more careful than I was with Mushu (which is going to be a challenge) I can prevent anything bad happening.

The Blue Cross sound like a wonderful resource and I will take a look. Thank you for the link.

[Golden_Syrian_Hammmies]

No none of us think that here about you. I was just thinking earlier you had mushu the same length of time I've had Alfie and honest it feels like I've had him much longer like I've always had him. Can I suggest that you don't throw out your silent runner? All it needs is a real good disinfect and I know you can't be sure of what mushu died from but I would doubt it was from any bacteria or unclean cage conditions or bugs. The same goes for unused substrate if you had it well packed and closed so that nothing could get in then I wouldn't throw it out, same goes for wooden things that mushu hasn't chewed and you have plastikoted can just be given a real good clean. Also for food if it's in date hasn't been contaminated by anything and is in an airtight bag or container I would keep it. I'm only saying because it seems such a waste and will save you money also I know you are afraid of it happening again but please don't be. There was nothing you could have done any differently to prevent it and you gave him the best of care possible. You certainly did not let him down even by not being there when it happened. Keep your chin up, time will heal, think positive and hope for the good things ahead. Awh please don't be paranoid about your future hammie as that won't help you live your life always being in fear. Sometimes no matter what we do they can fall sick and die. Don't be hard on yourself over this. In the end all our beloved hammies have to leave us.

[SKB_Hamsters]

I can relate to how your are feeling right now - I felt the same way after my girls had passed. I find it extremely difficult realising they were now longer with me - I too kept thinking I must feed them, get them out for playtime etc and then sorting through their things was an emotional challenge. Also I to wanted to throw everything away due to the worry that that toys could make my next hammy ill - especially after Toffee passing form wet tail. Although I like to keep my girls favourite toys and chews and store them in airtight bags/boxes not to use them again but as a way to remember each of their likes. I always find it lovely looking back at as it help me to remember wonderful thing about them.
I normally throw away most wooden items and items in which I can easily buy a replacement. But I keep all plastic and ceramic item although I have throughly sanitised them numerous times. Initially the thought of using Sherbet DIY house and wheel for Pumpkin was impossible to consider as I was worried that they might too also have bugs on them and could make Pumpkin ill - I lost count how many times I cleaned them but when I felt ready and satisfied they were clean I gave them to Pumpkin and the joy I had seeing her enjoying them was really satisfying and helped my heart to heal from Sherbet. Even if you don't decided you would want to use them again yourself you also have the option to sell them or donate them if you want.
The idea of the photo album sounds lovely - I really like looking though my photo of my hamster wherever I'm missing them as it bring back so many wonderful memories.
I also do a lot of hamster shopping in preparation for a new arrival - last September I spent around $100 when I was on holiday in Florida getting lots of new toys and chews for my new hamster - even though at the time I didn't know what Pumpkin would have liked but bought chews. It was emotional thinking these items weren't for Sherbet but I bought items I knew she would have loved as well as my past girls.

[Pebbles82]

With the ceramic and plastic things, it can be good to delay the decision I just cleaned mine with vinegar and rinsed them, and then I put them away in a cupboard. Later they don't have the same associations. I didn't know if I would use them again. But a wheel is worth keeping as GSH says. I did clean that a bit more thoroughly - twice. Newtie is using it now and didn't find it smelled of another hamster I am sure. Some things seemed very much Charlie's - a ceramic salt pig eg - but I got it out the other day to put in the playpen and Newtie loves it - because it's round and cool And you feel differently later. You might have a moment of remembering but then it goes. So I'd suggest binning anything like wood items you don't want to keep, but just washing the plastic and ceramic things and store them away somewhere in case you wish you had them another time. Fairy liquid and water is fine really. And after being stored away for a while then naturally any bugs will be long gone. The items have sort of been in quarantine.

Sometimes it's too upsetting to do it too soon. Some things I just bunged in a carrier bag out of sight and cleaned them when I was ready.

[AprilPearl]

GSH, SKB, Serendipity: You're probably right. I won't throw out the silent runner or things which can be cleaned... But I think I may leave them in a cupboard for a while (after thoroughly washing them) so that they can decontaminate if necessary. I did actually bury a number of Mushu's favourite wooden toys and a whimzee with him anyway, because I couldn't bear to leave him all alone.

I went to squires this afternoon to see if I could find a plant to put over Mushu, but when I was there it just didn't feel right. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just not ready to accept he's gone by marking his grave. I think in a few weeks though, I'll feel differently.

I don't know whether I will be getting another hamster imminently. But, even if I don't for a while, I think that fixing up the Savic plaza isn't such a bad thing to do as it will be used one day.

[Pebbles82]

I think you can have good and bad days with these things. One day it will feel good to fix up a cage or buy a plant, another it won't so just go with the flow xxx

[AprilPearl]

Thanks Serendipity, for all your wise words. You've really helped xx