Rest well my loveliest

[Thin Lizzy]

It's only been 3 months since you lost Kiki, totally understandable you still missing her.
It's good that you're talking about it, expressing how you feel helps the grief. It does get easier, like Cypher says taking comfort in Eddie will help you.

[Penguin]

Originally Posted by Serendipity7000

I'm so sorry. This time of year is a hard one as well after a long winter and it's still cold. She is still close to your heart so it's not surprising you still miss her. I think little comforts for yourself can help - cuddle someone or something xxxx I know it's not that simple though.

She is playing free now and I'm sure she's looking down on you. Do you have any other hamsters?

I do. I have little Eddie. He is a sweetheart and I love him a lot, but I just can't seem to let Kiki go. Her birthday is coming up next month as well, which was an event I had been looking forward to a lot.
I really can't explain why, but Kiki managed to walk straight into my heart and took all of it with her when she left.
I haven't been able to stay active on HC for this very reason. I just miss her so incredibly much.
I figured this would be the only place where people would understand and not judge. Even if there isn't much to be said, just getting this out there means a lot.

I have never grieved like this before and I guess I just don't know what to do with all of these emotions.

Originally Posted by cypher

It's not so long really Penguin & I don't think we ever stop missing them, it does get easier with time though, take comfort in little Eddie & try to remember the good times.

Originally Posted by Thin Lizzy

It's only been 3 months since you lost Kiki, totally understandable you still missing her.
It's good that you're talking about it, expressing how you feel helps the grief. It does get easier, like Cypher says taking comfort in Eddie will help you.

I guess my reply was to all of you. I just didn't know how to split it up. Thank you for your replies, it means a lot

[dreamtree1234]

I am extremely sorry for your terrible loss, Penguin. I know that losing your very special friend and family member is something that gives you much sadness, but try your very best to focus on all of the precious, good memories that you have made together. Always remember that your love made her 2 years of life truly wonderful. Kiki would want you to find peace in your difficult decision because she knew how truly loved she was and that you always thought of her needs first. She is no longer in pain, and she can finally rest in peace until you are reunited once again. Please take comfort in the fact that although she is no longer physically with you, she will forever remain in your heart and in all of the hearts that she has touched along the way. She is most definitely a special girl, and my deepest sympathy goes out to you during this sad time. Please take care and know that you are in my thoughts.

[cypher]

You don't need to try to explain Penguin, I think we understand, no matter how much we love all our hams there is often one who just does seem to find that very special place in our heart & losing them, especially if they're taking too soon is that much harder, the first birthday after they go to the bridge is always a particularly difficult time too, remember we're here for you *hugs*.

[Penguin]

Originally Posted by dreamtree1234

I am extremely sorry for your terrible loss, Penguin. I know that losing your very special friend and family member is something that gives you much sadness, but try your very best to focus on all of the precious, good memories that you have made together. Always remember that your love made her 2 years of life truly wonderful. Kiki would want you to find peace in your difficult decision because she knew how truly loved she was and that you always thought of her needs first. She is no longer in pain, and she can finally rest in peace until you are reunited once again. Please take comfort in the fact that although she is no longer physically with you, she will forever remain in your heart and in all of the hearts that she has touched along the way. She is most definitely a special girl, and my deepest sympathy goes out to you during this sad time. Please take care and know that you are in my thoughts.

Dreamtree, thank you for taking your time to write me such a personal message. I truly appreciate the effort you put into it.
That being said, I have no clue what else to say. Kiki really was my everything and I think what pains me that I needed to have her put down because of an abscess and not old age. I could go on about this forever, I have never been this attached to another living creature and having her pulled away from me like that really pulled me down into a hole.

Originally Posted by cypher

You don't need to try to explain Penguin, I think we understand, no matter how much we love all our hams there is often one who just does seem to find that very special place in our heart & losing them, especially if they're taking too soon is that much harder, the first birthday after they go to the bridge is always a particularly difficult time too, remember we're here for you *hugs*.

Thank you for always replying Cypher, you really are amazing. No matter how much I have walked in circles with worry and not been able to listen to any advise, you have still been there and replied with useful input.

[Thin Lizzy]

It's always hard when our little one is taken from us and I totally understand how you feel. I felt that with Twinkle, she was fine and then she suddenly became ill and I had to have her put to sleep, my emotions were all over the place. I found great comfort here and so relieved to be able to express my feelings and I'm glad your talking about it, we're here for you xxx