Lost ashes

Sara H · 03-23-2021, 06:59 AM

I had Leon since he was a baby and he died of old age last month. I took him to the vets so he could be individually cremated which cost £160.

My boyfriend went to collect the ashes on Friday and when I opened the box there was way too many ashes then there should have been. The vets and the crematorium opened an investigation and the vets have just called me to advise that the fault is with them and they can't say what has happened to Leon's ashes. He was apparently weighed by the vets before he was sent at 1kg which is obviously incorrect and should have been weighed when he got to the crematorium which didn't happen. So they have lost the ashes and I now have someones else's much loved pets ashes.

They have offered to refund the money and have also offered a memorial but I know that will only upset me every time I look at it.

I was just hoping to see what everyone thinks as I know you will understand how heart broken I am.

NibblesTheHam · 03-23-2021, 07:07 AM

Oh, that's terrible! It must feel horrible, I know I'd be hurt, and be thinking that it seemed like the vets didn't really take much care with him.

Pebbles82 · 03-23-2021, 09:05 AM

I am so sorry. I have had two of our hamsters cremated and it never actually occurred to me to check the quantity of ashes (they are still in their containers). I cannot actually imagine how much ash is created per weight. But they have admitted an error and tried to make recompense.

The important thing now is what would make you feel better about things. I assume you will be returning the ashes? Or possibly going to scatter them anyway?

I think personally it is about our memory of our loved little friend, who has now gone to the rainbow bridge. When they leave us, all that is left is their lifeless body. We seek to treat that with respect, either by cremation or burial and sometimes to create a memorable place/grave for them.

So if you think of it that, wherever his ashes are - he is free - no longer in pain and playing over the rainbow bridge, that might help. And if you want a memorial of his life and time with you, you could have a photo framed possibly or have a pebble with his name on either to keep inside or outside.

But if you feel a memorial would upset you ever time you see it, then instead we have our thoughts and memories of the love and happy times x

souffle · 03-23-2021, 09:17 AM

I am so sorry for the distress this has caused you. I'm a great believer in the great circle of life and that remembering that Leon is now back in that circle is very important. Every atom of his being is around you and part of you and he lives on in your memories.
Maybe you might like to accept the refund and donate it to a charity that cares for hamsters where it can be used to help little ones in need in Leon's memory.
He would like that I'm sure.
He's always in your heart so never fear for his safety x

Sara H · 03-24-2021, 03:32 AM

I can't thank you enough for all your kind words it really has made a difference to how I feel.

His brother passed away before Christmas so I knew something was wrong as the scatter pouch they sent Leon back in was bigger than Ronnie's, otherwise I would have been none the wiser. I will be taking the ashes I have back to the vet but I know they will just sit with them which makes me sad.

I will be asking them for a donation to a charity as I want something positive to come out of this terrible experience.

Thank you again for your comments and dI on't know what I would do without this forum. X

Ria P · 03-24-2021, 05:19 AM

This is an awful thing to happen and someone else may have and cherish Leon's ashes completely unawares. Like you received the ashes of someone else's beloved pet.

I would accept a full refund myself and then donate it to an animal shelter. That way you would know for sure that something positive came out of this sad incident.

They never leave us because they're always in our hearts and thoughts. You may change your mind in the future and decide on a memorial of some sort.

I have a baby photo of our beloved Henry above his cage where a rescue hamster now lives. He's in a grave in the garden with a heather plant on top but it's his photo in the lounge i go to, to take a stroll down happy memories lane.

Amethyst_ice · 03-24-2021, 09:37 AM

I am terribly sory this has happened, how awful for yourself and also the other owner.

I understand it is extremely distressing but you would have some legal recourse here, regardless of whether it is a hamster, dog or human. They have seriously failed in their service and duty of care and caused great emotional distress. There is serious concern for the vets and crematoria practices here for such a mix up to happen.

Also in comparison, while I haven't had any cremations, my sister pays £20 per hamster in Swansea for her cremations so £160 seems grossly overpriced.

If you didn't wish to take it further, as others said, I'd accept the full refund personally and then decide what you wish to do with it.

They leave pawprints on our hearts and are always with us.

I moved house last year and had to leave quite a lot of my pots which had my furbabies buried in which upset me but I know as long as I have their memories , they will always live on

Many hugs x