Helping with the loss of your furry friend

[FinestNoob]

If you helped me on a previous thread i made you might have known I recently had to put my very beautiful and a little mischievous hamster named Sahara to sleep, now let me tell you more about it. On the 2nd of January i found my first ever Hamster laying in the middle of his cage, unfortunately he had passed away at the age of around 2 years and 4 months, I was heart broken, i had gotten him when i was 12 years old, i remember the exact reason i had chosen him, we had walked into the pet store and there he was whilst all of the other had been sleeping he had been sitting in the middle of the cage licking his nuts. I had to get him and i did, i decided to name him Scruffy, he was a short haired Black with a White band syrian hamster. Throughout his life his black began to become brown though. I spent almost the entire first week with him, after time faded though I began to get him out less and less and even stopped cleaning him out as much, That was until he escaped, he'd managed to kick open the cage door and then ran and managed to burrow into the walls i was devastated though after a few days i managed to find him chewing the front door at 4 in the morning. But this repeated id stop getting him out so he would escape so id start to get him out again and slowly stop getting him out and then hed run away again. Dont get me wrong though i did go through stages of really getting him out so much. Hell one time we even spent an entire day watching breaking bad together. But for the last 2 months of his life I really did stop getting him out. I did feed him and water him and everything but i never got him out. It was after i found him dead it really hit me hard, i began beating myself up about it, thinking things like it was your fault or why didnt you care for him. Every night i would cry myself to sleep over him. What hurt the most though was that on the night of his death i sat in bed thinking i should go and check on him but I decided just to go to sleep. The day after his death i decided i would get a new hamster and i did( I know it was really soon but i needed something to focus on)So i went to the pet store to buy a new hamster and a new hamster house(As i buried scruffy in his) As soon as i got to the hamster section it hit me hard all of the hamsters seemed to look like Scruffy except one. She was i lovely cream colour with once again a white band. She had pushed the glass cage door slightly open and was sticking her mouth through it i held my finger against her and she began licking it(Know that i look back on it i think she was just trying to bite it) I brought her home and because of the colour of her fur i decided to name her Sahara, i vowed to giver her the best life i possibly could, and i stupidly thought that if i got her out a lot and played with her more and spent time with her that when she died i wouldnt be so sad about it because i would know she was happy. I became really attached with her and she was really helping me cope with the loss of Scruffy. I strived to give her a better life. I would spend entire days building toys for her. She was so perfect playful and everything, though we did go through i small spat at one point. Whilst i was giving her treats she bit my hand causing me to job which sent her back a bit, because of this she would be scared of my hand and would bite me. After a few weeks off really harsh taming though she began to stop biting me. I remember one time i go her out and she just stood on my hand still for a whole hour just letting me stroke her. She did get the habit of chewing the plastic of her cage which made lots of noise so that became a bit annoying. She also had a habit of in her old cage she would climb onto the top of her wheel and than when she fell she would trap herself between the wheel and the wall, so i would have to hold the wheel so that she could climb up again. Well about two and a half weeks ago i had to start to buckle down for my exams so i spent most of my time revising so i wasnt able to spend time with her, i did get her out once or twice each week though. At the start of the few weeks i did notice that her stomach had became large but i could begin to feel her bones again. So i just though that maybe her fat was moving around i bit and i left her. After a while i stopped seeing her, she would usually get up about 7 ish but it got to a point where she was getting up so late that i wouldnt see her, i didnt think much off it and just thought that she began sleeping in as i wasnt disturbing her so much. Well on around the 24th of march i happened to catch her when she was getting water. To my shock her eyes were both fully shut tight, this scared the hell out of me, at first I thought she had scratched them out or something but then i realised that she just couldnt open them, straight away i got a wet cotton bud and put it on her eyes so she could open them, i did notice though that she was painfully thin and that her stomach was still massive. It was then that i pieced it together that something was clearly wrong with her, the fact that she wasnt getting up, she wasnt eating, she had lost weight and that her stomach was massive. I told my parents but they didnt properly understand the severity so i had to watch her closely for a couple of days, she seemed to be doing fine except from her weight and the fact that she was very lazy, on Saturday the 28th of march though i was finally able to take her to the vets, i thought that she would be okay. I got into the vet room and the vet wasnt a rodent specialist, he examined her saying that there clearly was a build up of something in her body, so I asked what he could do and he said that it all comes down to the quality of life really, if she had still got fat on her then i could take her home and see how she was. It was then when i had to make the heart wrenching decision of putting her down, with tears streaming down my cheeks i picked her up with my hand and held her against me for the last ever time. The vet took her away and put her at rest, i then had to face a car journey with my Dad next to me whilst i was bailing my eyes out with a cage with her lightly wrapped in cloth. It was torture i got home and put her body that was inside her cage back into my room i cried for hours on end, until i plucked up the courage to say goodnight to her, i unwrapped her and held her body in my hand i said good night to her and stroked her a bit, then i kissed her, strangely enough her stomach had felt less hard than when she was alive, i placed her in her house with new bedding and buried her next to Scruffy. Ever since then i have been so upset about having to put my little Hamster to sleep, i think it was the right decision at the time but im so sad about how i wont get to see her running round in her cage once more. After a bit of research i think i have found out what was wrong with her, i think she had a open womb infection as it fit all of her symptoms. There actually was a small chance that if i went to a specialist i could have saved her, we could have given her anti biotics until she had put her weight back on adn then we could have removed her womb. But at the same time what kind of life is that for a poor little hamster. The thing is though is i just cant come to terms with her passing, she died far to young she was only about 4 months old and id only had her for about 2 and 3 quarter of a month, I miss her so much especially when i wake up and remember that she is gone or, when i see her empty cage, or when i see a photo of her or remember all the good times we had, please if someone can help me through dealing with the loss of my little Sahara I would appreciate it so much, i just miss her too much, and i wish she never got sick and had to go through that.
R.I.P Sahara and Scruffy XOX
Sleep well

[velma]

Poor you That's been a difficult few months for you. I know you're really sad right now but it does get easier. From what I've read, even with a specialist vet, with that sort of infection it can be really hard to do anything. And often too much for the hamster to cope with if even if they could so please don't be harsh on yourself about it.

You may have seen on here that some people say their hamster has gone to the bridge when they pass. And that is reference to this poem. The Rainbow Bridge
I think that's really comforting & nice. So just remember Scruffy isn't old there & Sahara isn't sick there. Being sad just means you loved them & cared for them.
Play well at the bridge Scruffy & Sahara.

[Artisans_uk]

Hi FinestNoob.

It isn't easily coping with the loss of our loved ones, human, fluffy and others. The link that velma gave to the Rainbow Bridge is good and it's always comforting to think of our fluffs playing at the rainbow bridge, meeting all the friends that we generally only know of through the forum.

Until recently, I hadn't experienced the loss of any of my fluffs but then in February, I lost two on the same day. I was away at the time and because I knew Bindle was unwell as she had a tumour, she had gone to stay with my best friend whilst the other girls stayed home with regular and frequent visits from my neighbour and family members. Bindle and Aspen went on the same day, coming home to such news was such a shock.

For me, I knew I needed time, I couldn't fill the spaces instantly, for other people it is different. During the days afterwards, my thoughts were filled with missing the girls, my routine was different, even though I had Bracken and Rue to keep me busy, it just "wasn't the same".

As the days past, my mood lightened and I could at least talk about Bindle and Aspen without dissolving into tears. I talked about all the fun things, the wonderful unique moments we'd had together. I changed my screen saver to show pictures of the two girls to see them in good health and it is still the same now. After a while I looked ahead to a date when I might find one or two new members of the family.

Anyway....there isn't a right or wrong way to mourn the loss of our fluffs. What helped me, might not work for another. Take comfort that Scruffy and Sahara are playing together at the beautiful rainbow bridge, free of pain and having all sorts of hammie fun.

Can you put the empty cages out of sight somewhere, for now? After I had cleaned mine, I put them away, so they weren't always within my sight. Remind yourself of the happy times you did share. Could you make a bit of a memorial garden around where they are buried, so you have somewhere to make nice, just as you did their cages?

The pain will ease for you but of course Sahara and Scruffy will always be a part of you and whether you decide to have another fluff in the future or not, you will always have the memories given to you by two very special fluffs.

[happy hamster 101]

Hi finestnoob.

Its always sad when you lose your best little buddy, you've done the right decision to put sahara out of her pain and I know that she loved you and so did scruffy. As Velma said the rainbow bridge poem is a comforting poem to read, and they are not gone forever, as you will see them again one day. Good luck, wishing you the best. XXX

[Thin Lizzy]

It's never easy making the decision but you've done the kindest thing. To lose 2 hammies is devastating and in time the pain will ease. The Rainbow Bridge Poem is very comforting to those who've lost a hammie and I think you'll find some comfort in reading it too.
Sending you big hugs xxx
RIP Sahara xx