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Old 08-16-2018, 09:43 AM   #11
Drago
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Lovely writing! You have quite the talent for it I must say It’s certainly interesting to see a hamster’s perspective of the world!
That’s quite sad to hear some of the hamsters did not make it through the battle. I look forward to reading more.
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Old 08-16-2018, 01:15 PM   #12
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

That’s so sad that the hams didn’t make it! Can’t wait to hear more! You are truly a gifted writer Biscuit!
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Old 08-16-2018, 02:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

You really are a talented storyteller, Biscuit. You had me in tears for Violet, Cosmo, their families, and the rest of the hamster community. I enjoyed that you told their story from these magnificent hams' point of view. Life in the wild is so perilous and uncertain at times, but sadly some kept hamsters also have hard lives, too. Thanks for sharing the third chapter with all of us. I look forward to discovering what happens next in the lives of these two, main characters and those they hold dear.
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:50 AM   #14
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Thank you so much! You are all so nice!

CHAPTER 4: TERRIBLE DAY

Back at cookies view


I woke up to find Pebbles staring angrily at me. "Hey, what's up Pebbles?" I asked. "I found out, cookie that you've been raiding the food bowl. EVERY SINGLE EVENING?!" Her voice had turned into a screech now "I thought I could trust you cookie! You're saying that they give us four tablespoons every single day and you take a tablespoon all for yourself? HUH?" I just layed there, what a unpleasant situation to be in. " I'm going to kill you cookie!" I thought it was just another hollow threat. That is until I started to crawl out of my box and she launched herself at me.

A thousand thoughts flew through my mind, is this really how I'm going to go death by my own sister? I mean we are Syrians we shouldn't have been living with each other anyway. I was actually scared of my own sister in even though I thought I never be. Instincts quickly kicked in and I scurried out of the way of her attack. She was fast to come at me again though this time her teeth sunk into my back. I pushed her, barely noticing the pain. I really didn't want to hurt her but equally didn't want to die. I was a blur of teeth and claws I was finally on top of her I was breathing heavily and drops of blood dripped down me " Please Pebbles let's not fight. We're all we got left." I jumped off her she stood up and walked away. "Don't be so sure you'll win next time cookie!" She yelled over her shoulder. "Let's not make a next time!" I cried to her but she was already limping into her house.

I surveyed my wounds, nothing to bad it was already scabbing up. Only a few scrapes I just hoped Pebbles was okay, I would never forgive myself if I killed my sister. I crawled up the tubes they scraped my wounded sides, I was fully aware that I could easily get stuck in one of the tubes. But I didn't care every inch of wiggle room mattered in this tiny critter trail. Once I got to the top there was a tiny little room no bigger then my cardboard box that I liked to spend my time in. I knew that since Pebbles woke me up early the children were sure to be awake. I sat there for who knows how's long. Until I heard stomping and chattering and I knew the children were coming

Quickly I grabbed I slid down the colorful tunnel. I didn't care how angry Pebbles was no hamster should have there house tipped over while there sleeping. I was able to get to Pebbles hut very quickly. "Pebbles you got to wake up! The children are coming" She jumped out of her hut. I was relieved to see that she only had a few tiny scratches. At first I thought she was going to fight me again but she just said coldly,"Thank you cookie." At least we're at speaking terms, I thought.

The children turned on the lights. "Hello hamsters!" Little Tommy said. I stood closest to the entrance of the cage. So rough handed Tommy would get me and not Pebbles. He did indeed grab me first. While pebbles was lucky enough to get Sarah who was a little gentler. " you guys get to go to the park!" Tommy screeched and then my worst nightmare unraveled in front of me they put me and Pebbles into hamster halters. Doing the only plan I had I put tiny tommys thumb into my mouth and I sunk my teeth in deeper and deeper. Tommy screeched as loud as he could. And dropped me from three feet up.

I fell and hit the carpet hard and then ran as fast as my short legs could carry me. At tommys's screech Pebbles was dropped also. She ran with me until we realized there was no escape. Pebbles sat down hard "no no no no no no no no. She said over and over again.

I just waited. Finally as Tommy left the room Sarah got the nerve to pick us up. In each hand by our scruff. She gave us a little shake that hurt my body. "Bad hamsters no food for the rest of the week" I gulped that was five days!

I was put into my cage the only thing I yearned for in my wretched life was to be wild.

I'm not trying to have pebbles sound like a murderer just a territorial Syrian
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:20 AM   #15
dreamtree1234
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Poor Cookie and Pebbles, their lives are SO upsetting and quite disturbing. My heart is breaking for these little ones. The most upsetting thing is that some hammies and animals in general are forced to live in such horrendous conditions and become abused by their owners. I was in total shock and appalled when I went to the pet store a few years ago and found out that hamster halters with leashes were being sold there. Apparently, they were such a popular item. It is also terrible that Sarah shook her hamsters and threatened to starve them for the rest of the week. I really hope that Pebbles and Cookie don't end up killing one another. I am really, REALLY sad now and worried about your characters. I would love to say that they aren't real as they are just characters in your story, but I know in my heart that hamsters are living like that and being tormented in so many ways all the time. Besides being an awesome story plot with amazing characters, I think that your story is extra wonderful and special because it makes the reader become more aware of hamster feelings and hopefully will make some people change the way they care for their hamsters and all of their pets. One day, you should try to publish this story so you can help change lives for hamsters and educate hamster owners in a way that they may actually make positive changes in their care for their little ones. That would be a real blessing indeed. Thank you so much for creating this story, Biscuit. You are awesome!
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Old 08-18-2018, 03:54 PM   #16
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Thank you so much guys! I didn't think my story was that good.

Back at star dusts view

CHAPTER 5: UNEXPECTED FRIEND
We were on the longest trek of our lives. Roots as big as hills. Creeks roaring rivers and bushes as tall as trees.

We were separated into groups as not to attract attention to ourselves. Dad was leading this group he was feeling sorry for himself. We also had the injured hamsters. And the ones who were close to violet and Cosmo. Plus me and Opal. So yeah we were pretty much the emotional wreck group.

A few hamsters had wanted revenge to try and kill the cat and his mate. With thought though they realized that was an unreasonable course of action.

Opal had taken it upon herself to tell be the entire life story of herself and both her friends. Which I already knew start to finish because not was Opal my sister her friends were also my friend's. There only so many hamsters our age to be friends.

"And so that's why I have that little scar on my toe" Opal finished.

"Yeah" I said " Opal you realize that I was there when that happened and I have the exact same scar." I guess I said that with to much annoyance because Opal's face fell.

"Well I'm sorry! I'll make sure not to talk for the rest
Of the trip" She said angrily she hunched her shoulders and walked ahead of me.

Opal, Opal come back! I'm sorry!" I called after her. She ignored be and continued to walk

I sighed and gave up. When Opal was in one of those moods nothing would make her talk to you. I was absolutely exhausted and thankful to rays of sun peeking over the horizon.

Dad lifted a paw to signal us to stop. His shiny golden fur slathered in mud to keep the bugs a nd predators of us. Everyone looked the same way. I hated the feel of it but as a younger hamster Opal and I didn't use it and we were covered with mosquito bites from head to toe.

We quickly burrowed a shallow burrow beneath a large tree. We brought in leaves and pine needles. Everyone was silent as they worked, moping for their own separate reasons. I was still torn apart inside over grandma.

Finally our burrow was ready we all thankfully emptied our cheek pouches of things we had collected on the trail. I quickly grabbed the a few berries and seed and took of to the farthest corner of the burrow.

Everyone one had dozed off. But I tossed and turned unable to permanently keep my eyes closed. Silently I snuck though the tiny burrow of sleeping hamsters. I looked down to see a paw wrapped around my ankle. It was Opals.

"Where are you going, Star?" She whispered.

Great now I was going to have to come with a lie, or maybe not. "I have to go" hoping she'd get it.

She didn't "go where?"

Now I was really gonna have to lie "to the bathroom opal"

She unwrapped her paw from my ankle and let me pass I crawled out into the night air. Taking a deep breath I decided to wander going against every lesson my mum had ever taught me.

I walked carefully as leaves rustled pass me. There was the cracking of sticks I was about to turn and bolt when some thing stopped me in my tracks. It was a golden hamster that looked exactly like me my mouth fell open. The other hamster the n said " Hello my name is Cookie."
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Old 08-18-2018, 04:58 PM   #17
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Oh my goodness! The end of chapter 5!!! I’m so exited! I can’t even describe how upset it makes me to think about Cookies conditions! You are so talented Biscit! I really enjoy Star’s point of view! I can’t wait for chapter 6!
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Old 08-20-2018, 08:08 AM   #18
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Oh my, Chapter 5 certainly had a wonderful twist at the end of it! I am glad that Cookie finally managed to escape from the neglect and abuse from the children. Did Sarah leave the cage door open, or did Cookie manage to find his way out of it and his terrible predicament in another way? Did Pebbles come along with Cookie, too? Chapter 5 is wonderful; no huge surprise there, lol. I am really enjoying your excellent and entertaining story, and I look forward to reading what you have in store for all of these Syrians and us.
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Old 08-24-2018, 04:10 PM   #19
Biscuit123
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamtree1234 View Post
Oh my, Chapter 5 certainly had a wonderful twist at the end of it! I am glad that Cookie finally managed to escape from the neglect and abuse from the children. Did Sarah leave the cage door open, or did Cookie manage to find his way out of it and his terrible predicament in another way? Did Pebbles come along with Cookie, too? Chapter 5 is wonderful; no huge surprise there, lol. I am really enjoying your excellent and entertaining story, and I look forward to reading what you have in store for all of these Syrians and us.
Thank you! Pebbles was did not mange to escape. You'll see how cookie escaped in a little bit

CHAPTER 6: SWITCH

I looked out of the bars of cage to see the bag of food taunting me. It may not have been high quality, but it kept me alive and I hadn't had any for two days for Pebbles stole half of my hoard and no amount of pleading or bargaining would get it back.

All three children ran in, I didn't even bother hiding from them any more I guess if a hamster could be depressed that's what I was. I trudged to the middle of my cage awaiting my fate.

I was surprised when Samantha's gentle hands scooped me and Pebbles up.

"Its okay little hams." She whispered in response I sunk my class into her skin even though she didn't notice. We traveled through a door and what I saw made me gasp.

Trees towered above us there arms stretching out. While birds soared effortlessly in the beautiful blue sky. Grass stuck out from the ground, tall enough to completely engulf me. Flowers bloomed with bees buzzing around them.

It was amazing..

Tommy who was in dirt stained overalls ran up vigorously patting our heads " you get play outside hams." He yelled

Sarah was in a flower dress and she danced around happily.
Samantha put us and to the ground and promptly pulled out her and gave her phone uttermost attention.

Now I did the only thing I knew what to do and I RAN. The grass engulfed me making me Impossible to see. I heard screeching and squealing behind me. But I didn't dare look back.

I have no idea how long I ran but by the time I couldn't run any longer. I was nose to nose with a golden hamster that looked just like me.

"Hello my name is Cookie."

The other hamster just stared at me. She backed up a little, picked up a twig and pointed at my chest. "State your business".

" Whoa I'm just a hamster that escaped critter trails and hoping to find a hamster tribe. But I can leave." I turned around to walk away but this hamster stopped me.

"Hey wait! I'm Star Dust. You said critter trails do get fed every and stuff? Boy I'm sick of living wild."

I looked at Star Dust "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She nodded slowly and we both grinned

"We look alike right? I'm not just crazy?" I asked. Star Dust nodded. And quickly we hatched a plan telling each other about our personalities.

And just like that we headed off to go live a complete strangers life for a day.
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Old 08-25-2018, 01:52 AM   #20
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Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

I just read your whole story so far and I love it!! I cant wait to read more about their adventures switching lives! I wonder how Pebbles and Opal will react though...
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