Register FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Navigation
Front Page
Forum
Gallery
Wiki

Ads by Google


Go Back   Hamster Central > >

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-23-2018, 06:09 PM   #1
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Switch (the story of two hams)

I've already written it all up so I'm just putting it on here, but I promise it's 100% my original work! watch out it's kinda cheesy!


Chapter 1 Star Dust





I stretched out as the last rays of sun dispersed behind the towering mountains. I came out of the little tunnel me and my family had made in the deep dirt, as I looked around I realized that nobody was in the little underground cavern with me. I quickly cleaned my self off and scurried out of the tunnel to find everyone was in a bustle in the dusk already finding food I was slightly annoyed by this since I was usually the first one up at dusk. My sister Opal came up to me my eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and I saw her cheek pouches were full, "Whats happening" I asked "Whats everybody doing up so early especially you" Opal usually slept late into the night no matter what happened. "The Scout Ham says there's theTom cat and his mate,up ahead following our trail" I jumped at the very thought of a cat. "Opal why did no one wake me? This is an emergency!" Opal looked at her paws "Well after what happened last night, Star, we thought we ought a let you have a good nights sleep." I had been hoping what happened last night was all just a dream but it wasn't it came back to me like a wild fire, grandma was insisting she go forage saying I'm not dead yet and how she could still work and help the tribe. She finally won just like she always did. Father sent me and her out we found a few acorns but nothing special. I smelled cat but grandma didn't and plopped to the ground just like the stubborn old ham she was. A cat appeared out of nowhere and i jumped into a pile of leaves leaving grandma out with the cat. And she was killed right before my very eyes. I knew father was beating himself up about saying he shouldn't have sent a young and old ham out together to forage but i knew it was my fault i knew i should have sacrificed my own life for hers. " Hows father?" I whispered to Opal, she shrugged "Distant I think he's scared, its not giving the rest of the tribe very much confidence though" i nodded waking into the bustle of hamsters. Everyone froze I looked around to see what the matter was, and in the shadows his cover blown was the very same cat that killed my grandma.
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2018, 07:30 PM   #2
Sasha04
Hamster Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: California, US
Posts: 212
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

This is such a great story Biscuit123! I can’t wait to hear more of Star’s adventure!
Sasha04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 05:05 PM   #3
dreamtree1234
The Cuddler of Cuteness
 
dreamtree1234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 3,014
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Biscuit, thank you for sharing your creative story with us. You have a talent for dramatic writing. This is a wonderful story that keeps drawing you in the more you read it. I love your descriptions as it makes the entire story more believable and paints vivid pictures in my mind. I love the bonds that you are establishing between the different hams, the suspense, and the adventure. This is a great beginning of what I am sure will continue to be a really exciting story. I really hope that you will post more of Star's thrilling adventure. Please don't keep us on this cliffhanger for too long, lol. I want to know what happens next and how it all ends.
__________________

"...she fell into a deep sleep, and dreamed the dreams of the dreamtree." ~Stephen Cosgrove
Loving Mum to Eros007, Arwen, & Hinata. Fur Angel Snickers 4Ever.
dreamtree1234 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 07:22 PM   #4
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasha04 View Post
This is such a great story Biscuit123! I can’t wait to hear more of Star’s adventure!
I'm glad you like it!

Last edited by Biscuit123; 08-12-2018 at 07:23 PM. Reason: Weird autocorrect
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 07:24 PM   #5
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamtree1234 View Post
Biscuit, thank you for sharing your creative story with us. You have a talent for dramatic writing. This is a wonderful story that keeps drawing you in the more you read it. I love your descriptions as it makes the entire story more believable and paints vivid pictures in my mind. I love the bonds that you are establishing between the different hams, the suspense, and the adventure. This is a great beginning of what I am sure will continue to be a really exciting story. I really hope that you will post more of Star's thrilling adventure. Please don't keep us on this cliffhanger for too long, lol. I want to know what happens next and how it all ends.
So sorry to leave you waiting!
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 07:24 PM   #6
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Idk if this is confusing but this is a chapter from another hamsters point of view


ANOTHER DAY CHAPTER 2

I woke up silently. My house was a cardboard box that had the letters'cookiie' in glitter glue on it. I was careful to never chew on their knowing it was deadly to hamsters. My sister was still asleep in her hut she got because she was the oldest and loved to boss me around. I noticed she had both mine and hers daily carrot in her hut, and I shook my head angrily.

She didn't know that I woke up long before her every evening to raid the food bowl. I hoped the children had already gone to bed it was always a gamble though and to day I lost as the two children burst into the room turning on the bright lights on my unexpecting eyes. I froze desperately hoping they wouldn't see me. Tommy the youngest who was only about five had unruly blond hair that usually covered his pale blue eyes. Ran over to me and rattled the critter trail"cookies awake!"he screams. Sarah who's only eight runs over she has straightened blond hair and dark brown eyes. She's very smart but she never puts her smarts to the test. Now Samantha who I despise must be thirteen knows perfectly well how me and Pebbles are suffering is too glued to her iPhone to care.

Now Tommy opens up the critter trail and reaches down to grab me with his reeking hands. I dart into one of the tunnels and wait until he withdraws his hands, but instead he topples over the peacefully sleeping pebbles hut and grabs her out startled she trying to get away but she's already dangling in tommy's grasp. She quickly stuffed into a hamster ball to run around for thirty minutes and then be forgotten about for another half an hour

Sarah completely absorbed in what's Pebbles doing, So I crawl out of my tunnel hoping to make a dash into my house I assumed it would be pretty easy but as soon as I hit the wood shavings Sarah turned around and snatched me up holding me on my back like you would with a human infant she said "hey boy why are trying to hide?"

Oh yeah also they think I'm a boy.
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2018, 09:15 PM   #7
Sasha04
Hamster Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: California, US
Posts: 212
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Aww poor cookie. This describes lots of poor ham life’s, it’s truly heartbreaking. I really love this so far and I can’t wait to hear more of Star and Cookies adventures!
Sasha04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2018, 01:38 AM   #8
dreamtree1234
The Cuddler of Cuteness
 
dreamtree1234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 3,014
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Thanks for sharing another installment of your wonderful story. I must say that I do enjoy that it switches between the perspectives of two different hammies' lives and all those dear to them as it certainly reminds me of one of my absolute favorite and treasured children's books about mouse, a rat, a girl with cauliflower ears, and a bowl of soup, lol - The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. I am quite interested in how Star and Cookie's stories will intertwine with one another as your story progresses. It was very heartbreaking that poor Cookie and Pebble's have to live under such conditions, but this is the case for many hams because their human parents don't realize that this is not the best living conditions for their beloved hams. Btw, what species of hamster are all of your hamster characters? I love this second chapter very much, too, and I look forward to reading how the story unfolds for Star, Cookie, and the rest of their hamily.
__________________

"...she fell into a deep sleep, and dreamed the dreams of the dreamtree." ~Stephen Cosgrove
Loving Mum to Eros007, Arwen, & Hinata. Fur Angel Snickers 4Ever.
dreamtree1234 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2018, 06:13 AM   #9
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

Thank you so much! Everyone is Syrians in this story.
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2018, 07:33 AM   #10
Biscuit123
Newborn Pup
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 38
Default Re: Switch (the story of two hams)

This is back at to star dusts view.

ATTACK :CHAPTER THREE

The cat for a split second looked as though he was going to run and all would be okay, no such luck. He took aim to the nearest hamster who just so happened to be Opal. what happened to grandma was still burned fresh in my mind but none the less I still had survival instinct. I grabbed Opal and we started running to our burrow

I still saw every hamster I knew and loved running in fear but as much as it hurt I knew I couldn't save them all. Opal was squeaking I was too scared to make any noise. We finally reached our burrow many hamsters in our tribe had the same idea and it was packed, me and Opal were able to squeeze in though.

I gasped as soon as I got in and quickly left Opal side in search of my father there was mostly silence but also some whispering, things like "what's going on?" And "daddy died I saw him the cat grabbed him by the neck!" I went in search of my own father. He was huddled in a corner answering questions of confused and angry hamsters. I didn't even bother for him to pause, "Father is mother safe?" He nodded "yes she's healing the wounded." Wounded, I gulped.

Every movement in the burrow stopped as a few more hamsters ran in. " The cats gone!" Murmurs of relief rippled through the crowd " Him and his mate took two lives" The hamsters gasped, I was shocked into silence. "Each!?" Someone in the crowd asked. " No only one each. It was violet and Cosmo." There was silence for a second, everyone processing this loss. After that that there was explosion of talking. I heard weeping as well. Violet and Cosmo were not hamsters I knew personally, but they were hamsters just like me who died today.

I stumbled around the burrow. The scout ham were out now searching to make sure the cats weren't still out. We could only hope the scout hams would come back. I found my mum there was only a few injured hamsters suffering scratches from the cats claws my mum was wiping her magical green paste on their wounds. "You need any help mum?" I asked. "No I'm okay." I nodded and coutuined walking.

I stood on my back feet as I heard the scout hams enter the burrow "all's clear no more wounded or dead outside." That's a relief I thought. I was nervous to go outside even though the scout hams word was never wrong. I turned to the nearest hamster who still looked shocked from the events a golden hamster that looked just like all of us. "Hey do you know if we're going to pack up and leave." I regretted as soon as the words escaped my lips I realized it was violet's sister.

"Yeah we're leaving at least three hours south of here" she answered.

And for a split second I wished I was human-owned hamster like the stories my father always told me about, of critter trails and play pens. Humans and free seed whenever you wanted.

I would never want that I thought but something told me I wasn't so sure.
Biscuit123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
cat, opal, grandma, night, father, knew, happened, looked, ham, dusk, bustle, killed, quickly, jumped, thought, forage, matter, eyes, tribe, star, tunnel, confidence, work, nodded, rest

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Parts of this site powered by vBulletin Mods & Addons from DragonByte Technologies Ltd. (Details)
Copyright 2003-17, Hobby Solutions Inc.
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:20 AM.