Hamster paranoia leads to hamster guilt

[Oatmeal_Cupcake]

So I got Aria back in November. So as a brief summary and more about her, I got her from Petco where she was housed with a cage mate that would come over and bite her while she slept. Regardless of this trauma, she was tamed within 2-3 months. From the start she didn't mind being scooped up or minded being out and about. She'd hang out on half of my bed, in the bath tub and eventually grew to love her ball. We moved from California to Utah. She didn't show any change or stress from the move. Honestly, I don't even think she realized that we moved states, lol. Once we got here she transferred from her bin cage into a detolf. She's never been comfortable with the open space of the detolf so I give her a lot of hidey-holes, cover and more cover along the glass. Despite of all this she's always perked up and been happy to hear my voice. She always let me hold her. She's also been a reclusive hamster. Sometimes she just doesn't want to come out.

As a result of her reclusive behavior, I decided to get a second hamster, Little Bear because I felt like I had more love and time to give. So rather than forcing Aria to spend time with me for my selfish reasons, I got Little Bear.

Little Bear was as result of an accidental birth from kids placing a male and female together. So he grew up being handled at a young age. So he loves being out and about every night for hours on end. I am really enjoying the fact that he's like this and that I can have him out of his bin without him being scared of the open area of the room or the sound of the tv.

I believe it was last week or so when Aria suddenly freaked out in my hands, landed on my bed. In a moment of excitement and panic, I went to catch her and she slipped a bit off the side of the bed getting (gently) caught against the bed and my thighs. I put her back in the detolf and let her be. It's been about a week now and she's still scared of being in the detolf and is scared when I take the lids off of the detolf. Almost as if she doesn't want to be picked up and taken out. She will however take treats and food from my hand even if the lid is off. So I decided to take her out for 5 minutes and she wasn't having any of it. She clearly wanted to get out of my hands and hide somewhere safe.

So I've been feeling HORRIBLE because I want to help Aria come around but I don't know how or what to do. The fact that I have Little Bear makes me feel like I'm purposely neglecting her, even though I know I'm not. I've been giving her some space to calm down and she just doesn't want to come out. I'm not choosing to leave her in there but I still feel guilty about it.

Little Bear is also kept in another room too. I've had him for 5 weeks now so a month went by without any change shown by Aria from him being in the house. So I really don't think it's him.

So I don't know if anyone has experienced anything like this. Whether it be Aria's sudden paranoia or guilt over spending more time with one hamster than another. I don't know why she's scared of being out, she was never like this. I just feel so bad and it really helps when I turn to you guys for advice or just words of wisdom. Sometimes I'm overlooking things or being to hard on myself and I need you guys to find my way in it all.

*sigh and sniffle* :'(

[kyrilliondaemon]

Have you still got her old bin cage? Its starting to sound to me like she'd just be much happier in a smaller cage than the detolf. If Little Bear has a smaller cage, could you maybe swap the two over?

[cypher]

I probably go on about having big cages more than most but I must admit I was thinking much the same thing, that she may be happier back in a smaller more secure feeling space.

[bbbarker]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you've got Aria in the detolf and little bear in Aria's old bin cage. I would swap them over, you've gave Aria plenty of time to adjust to her new cage and she's just not getting on with it, some hamsters aren't too keen on being in large open spaces and this is obviously the case with Aria. Who knows little bear might love being in a bigger cage since he's very social and doesn't mind being out in your room. I'd love to see some pictures of little bearx

[Shannonmcn]

Agreeing with the general advice here, it would do no harm to swap them over. It's a good sized bin if I remember so it's not like Aria would be cramped or anything. I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty, if Aria is a shy little lady she won't mind Bear getting the lions share of the attention if he loves it and she can have play times and cuddles on her own terms

[SmallFluffyBears]

Put Aria back in her old bin cage because it seems as though she is having trouble adjusting to the Detolf. Try to not feel that way!

[Piebald]

I'm going to go against the grain here (!) I think with her exhibiting some kind of PTS and being a nervous ham to begin with it would be the wrong time to go switching her home around. I also have concerns about using the bin that has now been used by the other guy. I would not be confident you could eliminate his smell and this may be very stressful for her. I'd give her some more re-taming time and maybe put in a ramp in the detolf up to the top so she can come up to you when she feels comfortable doing so. You could cut a smaller door at the top of the ramp so the whole thing doesn't need to be opened.

You may want to give her a bin cage again in the future when she settles a bit, but I would maybe try it out like play time for starters. You know her best and will be able to say if she is comfortable. I would make a new bin cage though that doesn't have any intruder smell.

And don't feel guilty, I know how much you care for Aria and how much effort you have put into trying to make her happy. Keep us posted. xx

[Pebbles82]

I think when they have had a scare it's a good idea to just leave them alone for a bit. Charlie has sometimes been reclusive for a week or more. I would put his food and water out and he wouldn't come out till after we'd gone to bed. A couple of times I came down and saw him looking really quite perky and happy in his cage in his favourite hiding spots and climbing things, just doing his own thing. If I ever get him out and he behaves like said Aria is, I just put him back again, leave it another few days, and then maybe get him out at a different time, when he's a bit dopey (between 9pm and 10pm worked for us, but not sure about summer or different climate). I would tempt him out into his tube with a little piece of apple or cheese and then lift the tube out, covering both ends and carry it over to the sofa, where I'd have his big fleece blanket bunched up over our knees, so he could hide in it or sit between us without being able to escape easily. Sometimes he'd just crawl under the blanket and have a nap. I think sometimes they just like doing their own thing and crawling into or under things. Maybe just go with the flow with her. Obviously you will be feeling anxious because of the recent incident but it's just time and patience again and she'll learn to trust you again. It's probably just a blip.

I'm kind of in agreement with Piebald - maybe best just leave her alone. As long as she has a house she likes and her nest, she doesn't have to do much in the rest of the cage, and she might be exploring it and playing in it at night.

She probably does sense that Little Bear is around as well, but she'll probably get used to that. Charlie has always been a nervy ham and had not really been handled when we got him, but sometimes he's better than others. And after seeing how frantic and freaked out he was after staying somewhere else for 10 days, Aria probably does still get nervy - she had a house move a few months ago with you didn't she?

Don't feel guilty about spending more time with Little Bear than Aria, she maybe just needs her own space for a bit.

[Oatmeal_Cupcake]

Thank you all very much. I'm really sorry that I couldn't reply earlier. I'm over here in the PST time zone. So whenever I post it's usually sometime after midnight and then I head to bed.

Anyways, changing her back to a bin is something that I have been talking to with my boyfriend because I've been thinking that the detolf might not feel safe to her. He seems to agree with it too.

The first time I brought her home I put her in Kit Kat's bin and she didn't seem to mind it at all. She had died about two days before I brought Aria. I cleaned everything out and disposed of stuff that couldn't be reused so no worries there!

When it came time to pack and move, which was back towards the end of march, she stayed in a pink tinted bin. It measured 50.8cm by 33.02cm (20x13 inches). She had space for a home, a 10 inch saucer, water bottle holder and a food bowl. I thought that she was going to go mad in such a small bin but that was all that we could fit in the two door car with one cat, a lizard and her. It was really cramped! Anyways, she ended up adjusting to it right away and spent the majority of the time playing on her saucer. She didn't have any problems in the hotel we stayed at or when we finally got to Utah.

It actually wasn't until I transferred her over to the detolf that she started feeling scared. Always darting around for food and water and only coming out to play when the lights were off. Even on the nights that I go to bed late, I'll have the lights off in the room and she'll come out and play. So I do know that she goes on her wheel and saucer and chews on her chews. So to be honest, she's only fearful during the day when she comes out to eat.

The thing that I think is really odd is her darting in fear when I take the lid off. Like she knows that it's time to come out and just wants to get away so I can't pick her up. She knows who I am and is fine taking treats. She's just not having a good time coming out.

Back in our old house we used to have a bathtub and we'd hangout in there. She'd play, run, climb, chew, etc. Right now she's just acting like Kit Kat where she just doesn't want to be in a large exposed area.

I have a playpen that is large enough to fit over our queen size bed. It has a top and the sides are mesh. I was thinking of setting it up on the bed and providing some blankets for cover and tunnels she could go threw. However I'm not sure if that would be a good idea or not.

I'll respect giving her more space if that's what she needs. However, I'm really worried that if I leave her alone for too long that she'll become untame and really won't like me. I guess that's part of my fear already with how she darts around.

Anyways, it's almost time for me to start my shift at work so that's all I can write for now. I'll be sure to check in later to see if there are any more replies. Thank you all so much for being here for me and helping me out though this.

[bbbarker]

I think it's really good of you to respect Aria in not forcing her to come out and play, some hamsters are just more reclusive it doesn't make you any less of a good owner it's just her personality. I still stand by moving her out of the detolf, put her out of her misery. It's clear she doesn't like being exposed in large open spaces. In regards to her getting scared when you lift the lid I don't think it's because she knows it's time for playtime, I think it's because she's hearing this noise coming from above and put yourself in her shoes in this giant cage and a noise coming from above her.
Your her owner and only you know what's best, of course with all this helpful advice to help you make your decision x