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Meet Destro. He was a pet store hamster, who DOVE down into his tube and stayed there forever everytime he sensed anything was going on around his cage. He would stay there, in his verticle tube, until I'd wonder if he was sleeping. It was ridiculous.
But the picture above is of him today. This is one of his "begging to come out" poses. He has 3 doors, and he knows where each of them are and he will just sit and look at us all pathetic until someone can't take it anymore and we get him out! He is the FRIENDLIEST, most sociable hamster that we have. He is unbelievably wonderful.
It took less than a month before he was friendly, and then another few weeks before he started to beg to come out like this.
He is truly a joy to have. Don't give up yet! Your hamster sounds perfectly normal... just keep working with her and be patient.
I'm currently working with my little Matilda, to tame her, and she is also very scared, but improving. The strategy I am trying with her, since slow and steady was not working very well, was to simply hold her every day whether she liked it or not. After 4 days, she is MUCH improved. Different hamsters may take different strategies.
I also recommend that you leave her nest completely alone. Clean it when you clean her cage. It is okay, especially for now. Even if you have a well-established hamster, you do not want to disturb their nest every day.
That is surely not your entire problem, but it may be enough to help!
I have a hamster (Pokey) who will freeze like you describe. She is a little hyper, and then she will just stop and be perfectly still. Hilarious! She is a friendly hamster. I expect your hamster's freezing behavior is not related to her fear, but I could be wrong.
I don't blame you for wanting to cry... but keep at it and I expect you will have a lovely little friend in a few more weeks! Don't give up!