The last of Lil

[BethandLil]

My sweet Lil has passed on.

01/04/2017 - 10/09/2018


As some of you know, about two weeks ago I discovered Lil had some trouble walking on her front right leg and that it was very swollen.
The vet offered pain relief and advised me to monitor Lil to see if it improved on it own.

Unfortunately it did not.
In the last week, her health has rapidly declined. The swelling worsened, she used the leg less. She barely came out of her house. She wasn't grooming herself. Her eyes become crusted and were often sealed closed. She wasn't her bright, energetic and inquisitive self anymore.

Yesterday morning I knew I needed to arrange for her to be put to sleep.

I called the Vets I had previously been to and they said the earliest they could see me would be tomorrow (today) morning.
Part of me thought I should call other Vets to see if they had space to see me today, but I decided to keep Lil at home with me for one last night.


I spent the whole evening with her on my lap/ resting on my chest in a bed and blanket.
She was quite cold to the touch so I made a (not so) hot water bottle, which she enjoyed snuggling up on.
I gave her more pain medication and some baby food from time to time.
I just lay with her in my bedroom with fairy lights and soft music on. It was incredibly peaceful.
My boyfriend arrived home from work (he works till quite late) and came and cuddled with us too.

I had my hand on her, stroking her. At about 11pm I noticed her heart rate was become so faint I could barely feel it.
I put her into a padded fleece doughnut bed I had made for her, which supported her completely. She let herself completely relax into it. She looked so comfortable.
She then took her final breaths. She did not seem to be in discomfort or distress.
It was wonderfully peaceful and i'm so glad we opted to have her at home for her final moments instead of in a vet practice being put to sleep.
After she had gone I smiled while crying because she looked so beautiful and graceful in her bed there.

I already miss her dreadfully.
I have thought 'I should go and check on Lil' multiple times today and then have that stomach drop moment when I remember all over again..

Lil was such a wonderful girl who has gone too soon, but had a wonderful life and a peaceful death with the ones that loved her dearly.


Here she is approximately half an hour before she passed.
She used the last of her energy to crawl up to snuggle on my shoulder.

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I love you dear Lil X

[souffle]

I am so very sorry. What an honour for you to walk a little way along the path to the bridge with her. I am glad you got that little twilight sparkle of peace with her. She was beautiful and so much loved.
Run free at the bridge Lil and send a rainbow or a white feather from your angel wings to your family.
xx

[BubbyandHamper]

I am so, so sorry. I just can't believe she couldn't make it through her injury. But now she will make it to the bridge... And you were there for her a couple steps of the way... Hugs and blessings from me and Hamper to heal your shattered heart.

Run free at the bridge Lil~

[mzwiwy]

So glad she went to the bridge full of love and knowing she was loved.

[Coco61]

Oh Beth, I am very sorry indeed at Lil's passing. How much she loved you and the close bond you shared is shown by that huge effort she made to reach your shoulder and snuggle there. That is truely amazing. She had a peaceful passing at home surrounded by love and warmth. That is what we all want for our little ones.
Play well at the bridge dearest Lil. There are so many heart hams to play with there.

[cypher]

I'm so very sorry your lovely Lil has gone to the bridge now, I can imagine how much you must be missing her already. I'm glad she was able to go peacefully & you could share her last moments as she passed knowing how much she was loved. Your bond was a very precious thing & she will live on forever in your heart now.
Hugs to you.

Run free & play well at the bridge Lil.

[Sasha04]

I’m so sorry Beth. This was such a sweet sweet memorial and I got very teary eyed when she used her last energy to climb up on your shoulder. You two had such the bond. I really hoped she would make it and I feel so so bad. She was such a lucky girl to have you as her mom. You did lots for her and I’m sure she appreciated it. I understand how hard it is to lose a ham and I’m sending gigantic hugs to you during this hard time and little kisses from Libby. Xxx
We will miss you dearly, Lil. Your mom loved you to pieces. Xxx

[Rads]

Beth,
I am so sorry to hear of Lil's passing, when I read these heart rending posts it does rather give me a lump in my old throat, I do feel for you.
I am also glad that Lil passed with her dearest loved ones, she clearly loved you to use the last of her strength to snuggle next to you.
Lil, run free and just a bit wild at the Bridge little one, there are so many wonderful hams there to welcome you, RIP little Lil.xx

[mangoandmimi]

Really sorry to hear this. Lovely that you could be there during her final moments. Rest in peace Lil.

[BethandLil]

Thank you to all of you for your well wishes and thoughts for sorry Lil. It really is so heart warming to read.

Today is the first day that it's properly sinking in that I won't see her again :(
I'm still coming into my room and glancing over to see her in her cage (I haven't been able to go through it yet) and still setting bits of vegetables aside for her when cooking dinner.

My partner and I are going to bury her on Saturday in nearby woodlands. She's currently 'on ice'. Sorry if that is distressing to hear.
It took me a long time before I could put her away there.
But it was the right choice to have time to prepare and both be available.
I'm hoping Saturday will help with how I'm feeling...

[cypher]

It does take time to sink in & I know how hard it is when it hits you again & again to begin with but it will gradually get easier.
I hope giving her a final resting place will help you come to terms with her loss & ease things a little.

[BubbyandHamper]

It may be hard when you loved her so much, and you tended to give her things when she could no longer accept them, but you will get over her loss and move on to another's beginning, no matter who it is! Don't let her loss pull you into riptide, move aside with her love to happier moments to survive your terrible woe. Think of all her great memories and be happy, and be strong knowing she always has, had, and always will have the world's greatest thing. Pure heavenly love. These are key elements to accepting her loss. Joy to you in hopes you can succeed to pull through your miseries.

[Pebbles82]

I am so sorry. I loved Lil - she was adorable. You had a special bond and I am glad she passed peacefully with you with love. It is very hard when the routine is there and you miss them. It's time. I didn't really get over it until we had another hamster xxx Play well over the Rainbow Bridge Lil.

[Hammy992]

I'm so sorry to hear about Lil. She was such a lovely girl and I'm glad she was able to spend her final moments with you. Sending big hugs your way.
Getting out of the usual routines is very hard; I have been struggling with the same myself for the past couple of weeks. Packing away the cage is emotional but it really does help things to sink in properly so you can grieve. The thoughts to make them dinner and get them out for playtime are upsetting but they do slowly reduce with time. Once Lil has her resting place it should hopefully give you some comfort to know she is now at peace.

Play well at the bridge Lil xx

[Thin Lizzy]

Dear Beth, so sad to hear about your amazing and gorgeous girl Lil. So pleased she passed away surrounded in comfort and love. The bond you both shared was felt each time I clicked on Lil's thread and the pictures you posted always tugged at my heart strings and made me smile.
Thank You for sharing Lil with us, the memories you have will be forever in your heart. Thinking of you and sending you hugs xxx

[BethandLil]

Thank you all for your touching words since my last post.

We gave Lil a wonderful send off yesterday afternoon.
In a secluded wooded area, we buried our sweet girl while we listened to the song we always sang to her - Lump by The Presidents of The United States of America.
It's a silly song that lightened the mood, which was welcomed.

I then carved Lil into a stump of the big tree that resides next to her final resting place.

RIP my sweet little lump. You were precious!

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[Pebbles82]

That is a wonderful burial for her xxx

[Sasha04]

That is so lovely Beth. Xxx

[SKB_Hamsters]

I have just seen this thread and I’m a so very sorry to hear this very sad news. Lil was so very fortunate to have such a wonderful home with were she was spoilt and loved so dearly. You took so many beautiful photos of her for you to remember all the wonderful memories you shared together. Lil’s final resting place looks so wonderful and very heart felt.
My condolences go out to you through this very difficult time.

Play well at the bridge Lil

[Coco61]

You have taken such care over Lil's final resting place. That always helps.
Look back over the bridge Lil, and send your loving Mum a whisker kiss.

[BubbyandHamper]

Her burial place looks just lovely. Hope it'll help cheer you up :)

[cypher]

That was a lovely burial for your special girl.

[BethandLil]

Thank you everyone :)

I'm feeling a lot more at peace with Lil's passing a week on.

I managed to look through some old pictures of her yesterday and it made me smile lots :)

[Josie]

Such a lovely memorial for your precious little girl, play well at the bridge Lil hugs to you beautiful little girl xxxxxxxx :(

[dreamtree1234]

I am terribly shocked and teary-eyed to hear of your little beauty's passing. I am truly sorry for your loss of your beloved and most precious Lil. She charmed all of us with her cuteness and lovely personality, and I always looked forward to viewing and reviewing all of her gorgeous pictures and seeing what your darling, little fluff was up to next. Thank you for sharing some of your fond moments with all of us and allowing us to love her, too. She will be greatly missed and will live on in our hearts as well. The two of you had the most amazing bond with one another and it was so evident how much she loved you. Having her use her final bit of strength to crawl up on your shoulder to be even closer to you touched my heart so deeply, and I'm so happy that you and your boyfriend were able to be with her and make her journey to the bridge so peaceful and beautiful for her. I know that it must have given you all comfort to know she was surrounded with the loves of her life and she was not alone. Her resting place graveside and carved tree is so lovely and heartfelt. It is a perfect tribute to one so dear to your heart. I am sending you huge hugs; we are all here for you.

Darling Lil, you have touched so many hearts and will be remembered always. Have fun playing with all those who passed before you. Please send a special rainbow to your most precious mum who loves and misses you so.

[Turrican]

Oh, I'm heartbroken to see this! I am so very sorry for your loss. Lil was so beautiful and amazing, so so sad that she is no longer with you. There are no words, really. I hope you are doing ok xx

[BethandLil]

Thank you for your sweet words Josie, Dreamtree and Turrican
I'm so glad you all got to enjoy Lil's life too :)

[Thin Lizzy]

A wonderful resting place for your beautiful Lil. Your little girl stole my heart and I will miss her cheeky mischievous innocent face. Big Hugs to you xxx