Toby Nibblesworth

[IamKat]

Hi there,

This is actually the first time I'm posting here. I lost my Toby on Wednesday, and am absolutely devastated :(. He was the most amazing little guy, everyone who met him said he was the best hamster, owing to his incredibly docile and friendly nature. He was a real character who would actively come and jump on my hand for treats and cuddles. I utterly adored him. We buried him under a maple tree sapling in the garden.

I'm feeling a lot of guilt though around his passing that won't shift. He became ill really suddenly although was looking quite frail for a few weeks (he was 2.5 years old). On Wednesday morning I found him out of his bed, he had dug himself a little hole and was lying down shaking. He then began pacing in circles around his cage, falling over a lot and batting at the air with his paws. His breathing was incredibly laboured and he seemed extremely distressed so I immediately took him to the vets. The vet told me it was either a tumour blocking his airways or a chest infection, he said the options were either euthanasia or antibiotics, although he said the chances of a recovery were pretty slim at this point. I agonised and agonised and based on the fact that the vet said if it were his pet he would likely opt for euthanasia (even though he couldn't 100% guarantee antibiotics wouldn't work) I opted for that. At the time Toby just seemed to distressed and in pain, and he couldn't breathe, I just desperately didn't want him to suffer. But now I feel so guilty that I didn't even try. Or maybe I just miss him too much it's confusing my loss for guilt.

Anyway, I thought I would share here as I think it's hard for my friends (who aren't hamster owners) to understand.
Thanks.

Here is a photo of Toby

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[CMB]

Sorry for your loss. Toby lived to a good age and you made the best decision given the surcumstances.

[cypher]

So sorry for your loss IamKat, Toby was clearly a very special friend to you & lived a good long life, it's always hard when they go to the bridge & having to make that decision to help them on their way is never easy, I do think you did the right thing, try not to feel guilty, you did your best for him & easing his way to the bridge & preventing any suffering was a gift of love.

Such a wonderful photo for his memorial, he was a lovely ham & looks so sweet & happy there.

Run free & play well at the bridge Toby.

[kitty629]

What a beautiful little friend he must have been! The way he just touches your arm shows you had a wonderful bond.

[Crystalroborovski]

I am so sorry for your loss of Toby. I'm sure he was a wonderful hamster and an incredible companion. He lived to a ripe old age.

Making the decision to have our little friends pts is a very hard thing to do but think of it this way- it's the last kindness we can do to them in their suffering. I know that you did the right thing by putting him out of his misery because the medicine probably would have done no good considering his symptoms and condition.

The photo is so lovely. It shows your incredible bond with him. Maybe you can frame it as a special memory of him.

Have fun at the bridge Toby xx

[IamKat]

Thank you all, some really nice words there. It's nice to hear some confirmation from others that my decision was justified.
He was so trusting and sweet. Hard to believe he is gone. x

[Thin Lizzy]

My heart goes out to you, it's never easy making that decision, you did the right thing, I know I've felt guilty afterwards but deep down you did this because you loved him. Toby was a wonderful age and he had a wonderful loving life with yourself. Such a beautiful boy and lovely tribute and funeral.
So agree that people who aren't hamster lovers don't understand our grief. You will have ups and downs as grief affects us differently.
Thank you for sharing your precious boy with us. Big Hugs xxx

[BorisPasha]

So sorry for your loss, it sounds like he had a very special place in your heart.

Have fun at the bridge Toby x

[Drago]

Hello and welcome to HC, sorry it's not on such a happy note :(

Toby sounds like he was a wonderful little ham. You did the kindest thing for him, and I'm sure he knows that too. Play well at the bridge little one X

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Support_Home.htm

[Rads]

Kat,
You had a horrid decision to make but it was for the best, we had the same with Forrest and you blame your self, but don't you have been a kind and wonderful owner/slave.
I hope Toby is creating his own kind of mischief where ever he is now, Rock on Little Toby..!

[AprilPearl]

I am so sorry to hear about Toby (incidentally, my first hamster’s middle name was also Nibblesworth!). Toby was a handsome little guy who lived to a very good old age. I think you absolutely did the right thing. It sounds as though the likelihood was that this wasn’t something Toby was going to recover from and you acted with his best interests in mind. I know it hurts now, but it will get better. Maybe make an album of his old pictures or make a memorial for him in the garden to remember him by.

[souffle]

I am so sorry for your loss. Remember no decision made from love is ever wrong.
Play well at the bridge Toby xx

[IamKat]

Thank you all for your replies. It has actually given me a lot of comfort. It's getting a little easier day by day and I finally faced dismantling the cage/palace yesterday. Before Toby left I had briefly considered getting some rats, but I miss him so much I know I will need another Ham in my life at some point. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to have another black bear.
(AprilPearl Nibblesworth is a great choice!)

Thanks again everyone

[dreamtree1234]

Kat, I am so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss of your beloved Nibblesworth. He sounds like a truly amazing and sweet hammy, and I know the two of you must have shared such a special bond. You can tell via the gorgeous pic of him that he loved you dearly. His paw gently resting on your arm shows the trust and love that he had for you. I know that his passing must have been such an unbearable decision for you, but under the circumstances it most definitely was the right one to make. Please don't ever doubt yourself or feel guilty for your actions because it is so evident that you loved and cared for him so unconditionally and whole-heartedly. You spared him of going through any additional pain and discomfort because you loved him so dearly, and Nibblesworth knew it. Please take comfort in the memories that the two of you created with each other and know that he was a truly lucky hammy to have a loving forever home with you. Nibblesworth's burial place sounds like such a lovely place for you to come and feel closer to him. The maple tree in your garden sounds gorgeous. Rest in peace, sweet Nibblesworth. Give Kat a sign that you are alright because she loves and misses you so. Kat, I am sending you hugs and Eros is sending you whisker kisses. Take care, Kat.