Whisper, too soon my angel.

[cypher]

My precious little Whisp has gone far too soon, she was only 9 months old.

I've been really worried about her the last few days, although there was nothing obvious she just didn't seem herself, appeared to be feeling vulnerable & moving much more slowly than than is usual for her, she was eating & drinking, hadn't lost weight so I did wonder if was the heat bothering her although it's not making much difference to Zeki.
I took her to the vet on Wednesday, unfortunately my usual vet was away & the one I saw was honest enough to admit he didn't know much about hams but he checked her heart & lungs & checked for any physical signs but found nothing, I'm not sure things would have been any different had my usual ham savvy vet seen her tbh, it was just a bit of a mystery.
None the less I can't help feeling I let her down somehow, that there must have been more I could have done for her even though I have no idea what.

Sadly she didn't want to be comforted or held so I let her hide away just checking on her from time to time & found her this morning lying in her cage, gone to the bridge.

It seems my brightest stars are never destined to burn so bright for long.
I love all my hams to bits but somehow, like Zephyr, Whisp had an extra special place in my heart.
So much life crammed into so little time.
She was always there to comfort me when I needed her most, gave me so much happiness & joy, made me laugh…. when the pain will let me I will treasure those moments forever more.

Thank you for being you Whisp, I'll always love you angel & always be so very grateful that I had you in my life even though our time together has been so cruelly short.

At least I know she is at peace now & it's only me who is hurting so, I'll bury her next to Zephyr later today & I'm sure the three amigos will be there to meet her at the rainbow bridge & take care of her.

She's resting in her pouch now.

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/pouch3_zpsr9kjfcci.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/pouch3_zpsr9kjfcci.jpg.html)

Happy days…

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/smilehammock_zps6h5eaw23.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/smilehammock_zps6h5eaw23.jpg.html)

Run free & play well at the bridge my precious little friend.

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/eve22_zpsfiru7h70.jpeg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/eve22_zpsfiru7h70.jpeg.html)

[Bec]

Oh no, I really can't believe it, I'm in shock...the beautiful Whisp definitely taken far too soon. She had a lovely life with you, and take some comfort that she's at peace.

Sleep well little Whisp, the three amigos will look after you at the bridge. Xx

Cypher, I'm truely gutted for you, and hope you are okay x

[Lala Noma]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Cypher :(

[Piebald]

So so sorry cypher. I saw how much joy you took from your relationship and so how gutted you must be :( She was a special lady. I am so glad her time was with you. RIP beautiful Wisp. Thank you for letting us share a part of your life. Hugs cypher. Xx

[pinkneon]

Oh no! I am so sorry. I really liked her :( Poor baby. Hope you are ok

[Thin Lizzy]

Oh Cypher, I'm in shock reading this. I'm so sorry for your loss, Whisper was so special and I loved hearing about her housekeeping. Big Hugs XXX
She may have been with you for a short time but, she knew how much you loved her.

[Hammy992]

Aw no I'm so sorry cypher :( She was a darling little ham that was taken far too soon. She is lucky to have had such a nice life with you and made so many good memories with her.

Play well at the bridge little one xx

[cypher]

Thanks so much everyone.

We had a last cuddle & whisker kisses, I said my goodbyes & buried her nestled in her pouch inside her house with a walnut, a piece of pepper & a well chewed greenie.

It's really hitting me now, I'm so devastated, shocked & lost without her.
Have to be strong for Zeki now.

[Thin Lizzy]

Oh Cypher, when it happens it's such a shock then it really hits you hard and the pain and heartbreak is unbearable.
Please take comfort in Zeki, he'll have sensed your upset.
Sending BIG hugs xxx

[Pebbles82]

Oh Cypher I am so sorry. Huge hugs. It maybe was something congenital that was going to happen. I don't think there was anything you could have done - you gave her a wonderful life xxx

[freyashamsters]

Oh no Cypher, I was so shocked to see this, she didn't deserve to go so soon :(

So much love and so much life crammed into such a small body in such a tiny amount of time :(

Play well at the bridge Whisper xxxxx

[flowerfairy]

Oh i am really sorry to see that you lost Whisper so young.

I loved reading your posts about her. Rip Whisper.

[Scarlett Empress]

I'm so sorry that Whisper has gone, and so young too - what a special little girl xxx

[BluerayDarkes]

You did everything you could, I'm sorry for your loss. Play well at the bridge Whisp

[cypher]

Thank you for all the kind words, the support here really does help, knowing how you all understand somehow makes it a little easier to bear, I know it will get better but it hurts so much right now it is hard to remember that.
I'm sure Zeki will manage to make me smile when he wakes this evening though.

It maybe was something congenital that was going to happen. I don't think there was anything you could have done - you gave her a wonderful life xxx
That's what I'm thinking, or hoping, but it does make me feel better to have someone else say it so thank you.

[Cinnamon Bear]

That's really sad, sorry for your loss of Whisper. You've had too much loss recently. I'm sure if Zeki is doing well it couldn't be the heat. Hope after your grieving you will heal & maybe Zeki will be there for you too at this very sad time.

[Penguin]

I'm so sorry to hear this

Please don't feel like you let her down, the last person to let down one of their fluffs is definitely you Cypher. Little Whisp had so much personality and brought you so much joy. To think how lucky she was to end up with you, being spoiled rotten not only with treats but with love as well

Play well tiny Whisp, it's sad you had to leave so soon

[Mrs Livingston]

Oh my gosh, I am in complete shock. I am so, so sorry Cypher, she went too soon. I do know that the short time she had with you was filled with happiness, love and the most tender care. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Rest well, Whisper, you were treasured so deeply. xxx

[velma]

Oh cypher, what a shock to come home and read this :( Poor little Whisp. I can't believe it. She was such a special little girl and was such a support to you when you needed her to be. You must be devestated. It's a natural thing to feel we could have done more or that we've let them done. But you couldn't have done more and you didn't let her down. Such little bodies can have congenital defects we just don't know about and can do nothing about. Please tell yourself what you would tell any member on here, and have told members on here, in similar circumstances.
I think it's lovely you've given Whisp her favourite things to keep her comfortable for her next journey. She couldn't have had a better life than she had with you and you have given her passing a dignity too.
Play well at the bridge, little Whisp, even though you've gone there too soon xx

[SKB_Hamsters]

I'm so sorry for you Cypher. Whisper was so lucky for you to give her such a wonderful life. Play well at the bridge Whisper.

I hope you are okay Cypher

[Fluffagrams]

I am so shocked to read this sad news Cypher that I don't really know what I can say to do your beautiful girl's life justice. I loved reading her thread and seeing the photos of her sweet little face.

It's heartbreaking to lose any hamster that we feel such a close bond with but when there's an air of mystery surrounding their passing it sometimes feel like it's that much harder but you gave her a wonderful life where she was adored and her best interests always came first.

Sleep well lovely girl,

[Coco61]

Oh cypher, I was so shocked to see this. I can hardly believe it. Dear little Whisp, what a beautiful little girl she was. She had a loving and caring home with you and would have known how deeply you cared for here. The cause will remain unknown but what is certain is that you did not let her down in any way at all. Not for a single moment. I am so sorry that you have to feel such heartache again so soon. But the three amigos would have been waiting for her as she crossed the bridge and will play with her forever.
RIP little Whisper-look back and send a kiss to your grieving Mum. *hug* for you cypher.

[cypher]

Thank you so very much everyone.

I am still having bouts of tormenting myself wondering if I could have done anything differently, I just can't help myself but I'm sure it will pass, I know I gave her the best I could & she was a happy girl, when I feel bad I go & sit with her & tell her all over again how deeply I love her & how very sorry I am if I did fail her in any way at all & that helps.

No matter how short our time together was it was so worth all this heartbreak, she was such a special little girl that even if I had known the painful outcome I would still do it again so precious has our time together been.

I've ordered her memorial, a simple little white heart, & I'll feel better when I can complete her final resting place.

[Pebbles82]

It's a natural reaction, but it sounds like one of those things that she was just born with a weakness somewhere. You did have a lovely time together and she was lucky to have you. xxx

[michyLS]

Oh no, so sorry :-(

[Piebald]

I hope this phase of your grief passes soon cypher, I suppose it is natural like Serendipity says but I have no doubt you gave her the best for the time she was destined to have. The memorial sounds lovely. Xx

[cypher]

Thank you.

I'm sure this phase will pass with time, it's always hard but just even more so when you know something is wrong but can't do anything to help or comfort them.
I'm trying to give myself time & not fight all those thoughts & feelings which I know are a natural response really.

I'm missing her so much, it's very quiet in here now, Zeki was doing a little housekeeping yesterday morning digging in his house but he's no match for all Whisper's noise!
It's over 2 years now since I only had one hamster in the house & it does feel very strange.
I'm trying to focus on my little man now & I think he may be getting rather spoilt for a while.

[freyashamsters]

I'm sure it will too, it always feels empty without them even if you have another noisy ham! Glad that Zeki is getting spoiled :D I do hope you recover soon :(xx

[Thin Lizzy]

You've been through a lot Cypher, I felt totally useless when it was Twinkle, I so wanted to be able to help her, fix her and the doubts I had were many. I still miss her but talk to her often especially the cushion which helps when I give it big hugs.
You're in my thoughts xxx

[Fluffagrams]

It's horrible to know that there's something wrong but yet there's nothing more you can do. You do the best you can but sometimes you've still got that feeling that there's more that you could have done.

I remember when May passed, I missed her terribly despite still having James in the house. He did his best, bless him (he even tried to beg for seeds like May used to) but it wasn't like having May around.

We're all thinking of you. x

[cypher]

Thanks again everyone, the support really does help.

I've just spent a good few hours cleaning & moving furniture so Zeki is now where Whisp used to be, it's a better position for him & means I'm not looking straight at Whisp's cage & realising with a start all over again that she's not there every time I sit on the sofa.
I don't know when I'll be ready to do her cage out, not for a while now but in Zeki's old place it's at my back while I'm on the computer & feeling it there rather than looking at it feels really comforting somehow.

Lizzy you inspired me to order a cushion too, I'm sure it will get cried over for a while when it comes but it will be a comfort to curl up with & it has a selection of happy photos to help me focus on the good times.

[climber008]

Oh no! I'm so sorry cypher!Whisper will be much missed!

[souffle]

So sorry for your loss :( She was beautiful and will be so much missed.
Play well at the bridge Whisper x

[Thin Lizzy]

So pleased you've ordered a cushion, believe me Twinkle's has been such a comfort. Don't worry, the cushion cover is washable inside out.
When I got home with mine, I sat on the sofa hugging her and had a good cry.

[Rads]

Cypher, I am shocked and stunned and so sorry for your loss..
Pip sends a little hug

[cypher]

Thanks climber, souffle & Rads, & Pip too.

I'm sure the cushion will be a big comfort Lizzy.

[Pebbles82]

Moving Zeki's cage sounds like a positive change. The cushion is a lovely idea. xxx

[Josie]

So sad to hear about Whisper, Cypher she will be so missed, play well at the bridge beautiful little girl hugs to you xxx

[Thin Lizzy]

The cage swap around is good, it's so hard seeing an empty cage. xxx

[cypher]

Thanks Josie.

The cage move has helped & I don't think Zeki even noticed bless him!

My cushion arrived just now, it really is going to be a comfort hugging all those happy memories.
Whisp's memorial is on the way too so I'll post a photo when it gets here, soon I hope.

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/cushion_zpszsfm3vy9.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/cushion_zpszsfm3vy9.jpg.html)

[Fluffagrams]

The cushion is such a lovely idea and such adorable photos too. :)

[Thin Lizzy]

Absolutely Beautiful, so perfect just like Whisper.
Squeeze as much as you like Cypher.

[Angie B]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss x

[Coco61]

What a beautiful memorial cushion. Perfect for hugging!

[Gimleyand Meeko]

I am so sorry for your loss, we sill miss your hammie, play well at the bridge <3

[cypher]

Thanks everyone, the cushion has been getting lots of hugs.

Whisp's memorial arrived today, makes me so sad but it's the perfect tribute for her so I'm happy too, if that makes sense….

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/Whisp-heart_zpsnewpv8df.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/Whisp-heart_zpsnewpv8df.jpg.html)

Her final resting place.

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/mem_gdn_whisp_zpskipn73hi.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/mem_gdn_whisp_zpskipn73hi.jpg.html)

Tried to get a photo of them all together but can't really step back far enough to get it all in very well, so just a general impression!

http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y417/hamHive/DSCN4001_zpsatbwhlsc.jpg (http://s1273.photobucket.com/user/hamHive/media/DSCN4001_zpsatbwhlsc.jpg.html)

[Thin Lizzy]

So perfect for your little princess! Brought a tear to my eye.

[pinkneon]

That is lovely!

[Coco61]

How perfect. Lump in my throat.

[herbi7]

That's a very beautiful little corner with so many memories for you. It's perfect, I love the animal sculptures that surround them all... So peaceful. Hugs x

[Bec]

How beautiful....where did u get the heart from....

Your memorial garden looks magical, a very special place x

[cypher]

Thank you.
The memorial garden is a very special place, it's kind of bitter sweet as it does give me a lot of comfort but is also really bringing it home that my little Whisp is gone, I'm still finding it hard to believe but it helps to sit there with them all.

Bec I got the heart from the same site I got Flynt & Mickle's from, it's here (http://www.pets-remembered.co.uk/pet-grave-markers/memorial-heart).

[Thin Lizzy]

Your little angels memorial garden is so beautiful Cypher, forever remembered and a comfort for you, you know they're safe and at peace and also that you sit and talk to them.
I so wish I had a little garden to do just that.
Big hugs to you xxx

[Bec]

Thank you for sending the link cypher.

I know how difficult it is....hopefully your peaceful memorial garden will provide comfort, it's just going to take time. Thinking of you x

[cypher]

Thank you both.

I always get prints of some of my photos when I lose a ham so I've been doing photo albums for all of the ones that have gone to the bridge, I was in floods doing Whisp's first but by the time I'd gone through all the happy memories of the others I felt much better & can even enjoy looking at some of hers without crying my heart out now, good days & bad days but I know it will get easier with time.

[Coco61]

I have bookmarked the link too cypher, thanks.
You have had many remarkable little characters, such a wonderful reflection of the life they had with you. So glad all the memorials and photos help you smile in time. None of your fluffs would want you sad for long.

[aloistrashy]

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your little friend. I'm sure you gave her the best life she could have had in the 9 months she was with you.

[Pebbles82]

It's a beautiful garden xxx

[lady jocardi]

Beautiful garden for your fur angels. It's so comforting to do something like that for them. We never stop loving them or missing them x

[Thin Lizzy]

Thank you both.

I always get prints of some of my photos when I lose a ham so I've been doing photo albums for all of the ones that have gone to the bridge, I was in floods doing Whisp's first but by the time I'd gone through all the happy memories of the others I felt much better & can even enjoy looking at some of hers without crying my heart out now, good days & bad days but I know it will get easier with time.

I do the same Cypher, I've been changing Twinkle's photo frame pic every week, got loads of her and each week I find it hard selecting a pic. Some pics make me go Aww and smile and then some have me in tears. Like you, her sudden death is still raw.
I've found such comfort and support from talking about it on here.
Big Hugs to you XXX

[Rsclio197]

I'm so sorry for your loss Cypher. I've only just seen this thread. Your memorial looks beautiful, great effort with that.

Rip beautiful Whisper.

[cypher]

Thank you all for the kind words & thoughts.

[Pharaoness]

Whisp :( :( so sorry Cypher. RIP Whisp, hope you're playing with Photini where you are ❤