Goodnight little Lola

[Lorrained]

It's 2 years since I posted on this forum and probably since I visited this forum because it always upsets me the little ones being ill. I tend to only visit to ask advice or when we lose a little one. Well it's that time again.
2 years ago we lost the beautiful Bella and my heart broke, I vowed we wouldn't get another but a visit to the pet shop and a gorgeous little girl looking just like Bean Bunny off Muppets stole my heart. I figured they do only have short lives but surely it's better for them to have a short happy loved life living with us....so we brought her home. Still vowing I wouldn't get attatched and insisting it was my daughters hamster and I was going to keep my distance. Well obviously that didn't happen. We have had 2 lovely years with Lola, she was tame from the minute we brought her home, she was a lovely friendly little girl.

Well last night my daughter got her out and she didn't seem 100% her breathing was a little different, but to me she just looked "old and tired", I looked at her and in my heart felt it was the beginning of the end, I just thought it's comi and I need to prepare. Well had a snuggle and play with her then put her to bed. I woke up before 6 this a.m and nipped in to see her and my daughter was awake and said Lola really wasn't well. I looked at her, her breathing was very laboured and had a little rattle, and when she moved she was shaky and stumbling and really not good. My daughter also said she didn't like my daughter trying to touch her, so we left her quiet. It was heartbreaking to see I just kept praying she would quick. At 8.30 she was still the same and so I rang the vets and asked them could I take her in to be put to sleep. We went in at 9.30 and they checked her over, I did notice she felt cold - I hadn't been able to hold her until is point, and the vet said the same. They said she clearly wasn't well, she said she didn't seem particularly snuffles or anything but looked like she perhaps had had a stroke or something and could offer medication but really couldn't guarantee anything as she was an older hamster and there was no saying it would make any difference and may just distress her more. I asked them to just put her to sleep peacefully. When they brought her back in they said she had a lot of stuff come from her nose and also a lot of bloody discharge from her back end. I felt very upset at this as there honestly had been no indications at all.
I'm trying to think she is better now and she is at peace but it is breaking my heart again, and I just keep thinking was there anyway I could have known? We handled her every day and checked her over and there was no change in her up until last night. She was eating and drinking and then suddenly deteriorated.

She is now in a beautiful pink rhododendron plant in the front garden next to Bella in a beautiful Flaming star plant. There is definately to be no more, my girls are out there together and I just can't feel like this anymore.

[cypher]

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's always so very hard when they go.
Their lives are all too short but it does sound as though her's was a very happy one & she had a great bond with both you & your daughter.
They can go downhill extremely quickly in old age but she is at peace now & you can take comfort in knowing you've done the kindest thing for her possible.

Play well at the bridge Lola.

[racinghamster]

So sad for your loss and heartfelt feelings Lorrained. It can be hard dealing with their loss. I used to keep pet mice and after losing quite a few to respiratory problems, I became quite hardened to the fact that mice suffer from such things and accepted that any I took in might suffer the same fate, which some did, while others died from tumours. With hamsters, it`s a little easier because they do on the whole have better health than fancy mice, but they become part of the family. It still hurts like hell when they pass.

Take a wee break for a while and sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Rest in peace little Lola. x

[Lorrained]

Thank you.
I love the forum but it breaks my heart when I read about poorly little hammies, and ones that go over the rainbow bridge.
Today I've been looking on here at the others that have lost theirs but I just can't read because I just can't stop crying.
I love hammies, and I know that they only have a short life and tbh I did sort of think last night how I was sort of preparing myself because she was getting older, I think she had a lovely life and we loved her so much, she had lots of attention and she was really pampered, but it doesn't soften the blow when the inevitable happens.
I keep thinking about the fact that they said she had lots of stuff came from her nose and also her back end when they put her to sleep, hand on heart there was no signs last night at al, just very late on her breathing seemed different, she just deteriorated rapidly in the night, and it breaks my heart.
It's just so hard right now.

[racinghamster]

Time heals as they say but keeping a hamster or other small furry will end in their passing no matter what we do. Thankfully, I`ve only had to attend my vet on one occasion with a Russian dwarf I had to be put to sleep but all the dwarf hamsters and mice I`ve had since then have died at home, which I prefer, as long as I know it`s natural and they are not suffering. The signs are usually there as they grow older and slow down, but sadly, some do become ill acutely and before their time. I only keep the one dwarf hamster these days but I used to keep mice and gerbils too, all rehomed from other places.

I guess when you feel the time is right Lorrained you might feel that bit stronger and look for another little ham, but you don`t want to let emotions get in the way right now. Take some time and determine whether the loss is greater than the benefit of the nice life you offer and the love. x

[fluffybumolivia]

I'm very sorry for the loss of Lola.
My first hammie past away in a similar way to Lola, however she died in my arms. It's so horrible when you don't expect it. RIP Lola xxx

[Thin Lizzy]

So sorry for your loss, Lola had a wonderful life with you. It's never easy losing a loved pet, they become part of the family. I too find myself getting upset when I read about hamsters being ill and dying on the forum. Sometimes, they can become ill and deteriate quickly, you did everything you could for her.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs xxx

[Lorrained]

Thankyou for all your kind messages.

I have always been a real animal lover, if I am honest I never saw myself having children, I much preferred little flurries (often still do :p). I grew up with hamsters, mice and rabbits and each time they passed it broke my heart, it never got easier, never became acceptable.

The hamsters we have had have been my children's, but each time it's me that is devastated over the loss, and each time I say "no more".

On Friday night when I saw Lola, there really was not much evidence that she wasn't right, I just saw her breathing more noticeable, but she came out, she was walking on myself and my daughter, she was lively, she was eating and drinking, I just thought she looked "older" n I just thought, she has a lovely little life, she is so loved and so friendly and so happy, I thought to myself that I had to accept she may be ending her time but she had had a good life.
I think what broke me up was seei her deteriorate so rapidly over night, but still hanging on and me having to make that decision and take her to the vets, but then to find out she had been very poorly and we just hadn't known. I keep going over in my head what the vet said etc, and I keep thinking "how did I not see anything?" And it kills me to think she may have been in a lot of pain and I didn't do anything.

As for replacing her, the hammies have a lovely life with us, we adore them and love them so much, but I worry about them, I hate having to ask for someone to look after them when we are away, it is a big worry for me. My dad looks after them, they stay here but he comes round and feeds and lets them out. Thing is we get them out every night and talk to them and play with them, and I always worry that he might not. He says he will but I worry he won't, and also it's not a labour of love for him, it's a chore, so he/she might not be getti the quality attention I want them to have. Also I worry what if they got sick when we are away and it was unnoticed, 2 weeks is a longtime in the life of a little one. Also, top and bottom I miss em when I'm away, I find it so hard saying bye to them when we are going, I think cos I worry what if I not see them again.
I have put the cage away but not thrown it, which I've heard my daughter say to my hubby that she knows that means I'm considering another. But much as my heart aches for some little furry cuddles, I don't know if my heart can take the upset of it happening again.

[cypher]

Try not to torment yourself too much, I totally understand especially as I'm doing pretty much the same thing, no matter what my reason my tell me it's very hard not to keep going over things & wondering if we could have done something differently or if we did miss something but from your description of what happened I doubt very much that you missed anything obvious or that she suffered for long, those things probably only became clear at the end & weren't there to see before that morning.
Such small animals can deteriorate extremely quickly & there's often little we can see or do before they leave us so try to put your mind at rest now.
She had a lovely life with you, always remember that.
Now probably isn't the time to be thinking about whether or not you should get another hamster at some point, I know the pain of loss seems too much to bear again but you'll know in your heart if you are ever ready to have another, I just try to focus on all the love & happiness they have brought me & in time the memories they leave outweigh the pain of their loss, you clearly have more love to give to a little furry that needs it but there's no easy right answer, it's a hard choice we all have to make for ourselves.

[souffle]

So sorry for your loss. She was very special and she shared a charmed life with you and your family where she was truly loved
Play well at the bridge little Lola xx

[MrsHamHam]

So sorry. I lost mine last week and I was in bits.

I'm positive there was nothing you could have done. You did such a lovely thing by being brave enough to have her PTS x