kris245
12-22-2014, 10:41 PM
I'm kind of in a state of disbelief now as the night goes on. As some know, my hamster Pamela has been going through a lot of health issues over the past month, and was finally put to sleep today at the vet. I'm filled with what ifs and doubts, and guilt over not being there in her final moments. I said goodbye to her this morning knowing I may not see her, but at least she was with people who knew her. It is so hard looking at her table in reflex, or to keep my thoughts from thinking "I should see how she's doing" or "It's getting chilly-I should probably turn the heat on for her." I keep thinking I'll hear her eat something, or rustle or bedding.This is such a difficult time, but I knew we made the best decision for her, and reading the forums here has started to help me through it.
I bought Pam from Petsmart in March 2013, after moving back home and plaguing my mom to let me get one. We bought a starter cage, seed mix food (don't worry, we changed to a pelleted food pretty quick), and a table for her to be out of reach from the cats. When we got to the store and talked to the associate, she said that the only one that was kind of tame was sold to a little girl a few minutes ago, and the one left was around 3 months old already. I asked to see the one left anyways. The associate handed this little black and white Syrian to me, and she promptly crawled up my arm and snuggled in my hood. So of course I took her home with me. The whole ride home I was so nervous with her; I made my brother drive so I could keep an eye on her. This was when she bit me for the first time. I opened the box to check on her and (even though I had read countless times to not handle them and let them adjust), I tried to pet her. I left her alone after that.
We got her home, and I decided to name her Pam (Pamela, Pammie, Spamster, Spamela) mainly from how Michael Scott in 'The Office' says Pam! Pam! As we put her in the cage, I realized that Syrians were big to begin with, and once the weekend hit I bought her a new cage with a proper wheel. The first few days I locked my cat from sleeping in my room (poor dude) and constantly texted home to see how she was doing while I was at work. I jokingly asked my boss for maternity leave for my little girl, and he did indeed come up to me and ask how much time I needed.
She tamed up pretty quickly. I could scoop her right from the cage, or she would walk onto my hand herself. My mom grew to love her 'granddaughter,' and I would catch her in my room sneaking treats to her (I blame her heavy weight on this). My cat learned not to mess with her after she chased him around the apartment in her ball.
There were many a night when she was sent to the bathroom for her bar chewing, or obnoxious running. Even with a ton of chew toys and a lot of exercise, she just seemed to be drawn to the bars. When she had a random injury on her back and I took her to the vet for the first time, she was complemented on her beautiful set of chompers.
I moved to ND by myself for more schooling this past January. Pamela took the trip with me, and slept the entire car ride (minus a few peeks at the scenery and sips of water). She's been my constant in this past year, and grew calmer with age and stopped chewing on the bars. She endured a diet switch after the vet grew stern about her weight. Pam learned my new schedule here, and there were a lot of nights where I'd come home from work and she'd be sitting on her second level waiting for me to say hi.
Here in Fargo was also the first time she escaped her cage. The top hatch somehow came loose, and she maneuvered her way on top of her wheel and out the cage. Good thing there are always piles of laundry laying around. How did I find Pamela? At 5:30 am I was using the bathroom, when suddenly a shape started moving and ran out of my clothes there. The bathroom was always her favorite place to go to, especially with her ball.
My mind is filled with images of her running full tilt down the hallway, her peeking through the bars, stuffing entire carrots in her mouth, trying to squeeze into her house with cheeks full of food, her inquisitive face and impatient way she stared at me, and her way of telling me to clean her cage by chucking dirty bits onto the floor.
Pamela was my first hamster as an adult, and I never knew how much personality they had until I had her. We made many mistakes together, but she's been my companion through a lot of changes and difficult times, and I hope I did my best with her.
Thank you, Pammy. I hope you are loving life at the bridge, happy, whole, and filled with carrots.
I bought Pam from Petsmart in March 2013, after moving back home and plaguing my mom to let me get one. We bought a starter cage, seed mix food (don't worry, we changed to a pelleted food pretty quick), and a table for her to be out of reach from the cats. When we got to the store and talked to the associate, she said that the only one that was kind of tame was sold to a little girl a few minutes ago, and the one left was around 3 months old already. I asked to see the one left anyways. The associate handed this little black and white Syrian to me, and she promptly crawled up my arm and snuggled in my hood. So of course I took her home with me. The whole ride home I was so nervous with her; I made my brother drive so I could keep an eye on her. This was when she bit me for the first time. I opened the box to check on her and (even though I had read countless times to not handle them and let them adjust), I tried to pet her. I left her alone after that.
We got her home, and I decided to name her Pam (Pamela, Pammie, Spamster, Spamela) mainly from how Michael Scott in 'The Office' says Pam! Pam! As we put her in the cage, I realized that Syrians were big to begin with, and once the weekend hit I bought her a new cage with a proper wheel. The first few days I locked my cat from sleeping in my room (poor dude) and constantly texted home to see how she was doing while I was at work. I jokingly asked my boss for maternity leave for my little girl, and he did indeed come up to me and ask how much time I needed.
She tamed up pretty quickly. I could scoop her right from the cage, or she would walk onto my hand herself. My mom grew to love her 'granddaughter,' and I would catch her in my room sneaking treats to her (I blame her heavy weight on this). My cat learned not to mess with her after she chased him around the apartment in her ball.
There were many a night when she was sent to the bathroom for her bar chewing, or obnoxious running. Even with a ton of chew toys and a lot of exercise, she just seemed to be drawn to the bars. When she had a random injury on her back and I took her to the vet for the first time, she was complemented on her beautiful set of chompers.
I moved to ND by myself for more schooling this past January. Pamela took the trip with me, and slept the entire car ride (minus a few peeks at the scenery and sips of water). She's been my constant in this past year, and grew calmer with age and stopped chewing on the bars. She endured a diet switch after the vet grew stern about her weight. Pam learned my new schedule here, and there were a lot of nights where I'd come home from work and she'd be sitting on her second level waiting for me to say hi.
Here in Fargo was also the first time she escaped her cage. The top hatch somehow came loose, and she maneuvered her way on top of her wheel and out the cage. Good thing there are always piles of laundry laying around. How did I find Pamela? At 5:30 am I was using the bathroom, when suddenly a shape started moving and ran out of my clothes there. The bathroom was always her favorite place to go to, especially with her ball.
My mind is filled with images of her running full tilt down the hallway, her peeking through the bars, stuffing entire carrots in her mouth, trying to squeeze into her house with cheeks full of food, her inquisitive face and impatient way she stared at me, and her way of telling me to clean her cage by chucking dirty bits onto the floor.
Pamela was my first hamster as an adult, and I never knew how much personality they had until I had her. We made many mistakes together, but she's been my companion through a lot of changes and difficult times, and I hope I did my best with her.
Thank you, Pammy. I hope you are loving life at the bridge, happy, whole, and filled with carrots.