Goodbye Holly, I'm so sorry I failed you

[Queen Of The High Teas]

I shouldn't be writing this. I so wish I wasn't writing this. Today my little pied girl has gone to the Bridge, and she shouldn't have. Whilst cleaning out this afternoon, I was horrified to discover my campbell had somehow escaped out of her cage, and somehow got into Holly's. Upon removing the campbell, I began removing the stuff out of Holly's cage, and there, lying in the bedding was her broken little body. That campbell has killed my beautiful little Roborovski. Holly was 28 months old, but looked and acted as if she were only about 6 months old. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her, she looked as though she had months and months left. And now she's gone. I'm distraught at what's happened, I feel so guilty and I pray she didn't suffer. The campbell has made such a mess of her I can't even look at my poor girl before burying her.

Holly, I'm so so sorry. I failed to protect you, and you've paid the price. You were a beautiful gentle girl, you did not deserve to have your life cut short with such a wicked end. Run and play free by the Bridge with Ivy, nothing else can hurt you now. I can't even kiss you goodbye, but know that I loved you so much and I will never forget you. Night night sweetheart xxx

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[Teddy001]

Im so sorry for your loss- what a tragic accident, please don't blame yourself. May you rest in peace, and play well over the bridge, beautiful little girl.

[souffle]

I am so sorry for your loss. It was indeed an accident and nobody's fault. Animals will protect themselves when confronted with another species or even sometimes their own species and it just cannot be changed no matter what we would like them to do. It's just natures way.
Play well at the bridge Holly x

[cypher]

I'm so sorry you've had to experience such a tragic loss, I can only begin to imagine how bad you must feel but it was an accident, a very very sad one but these things do happen so try not to beat yourself up too much.
Play well at the bridge sweet Holly.

[Queen Of The High Teas]

Thank you for your kind words:).

I know that two animals of different sorts will fight if they come across each other, but these didn't. The campbell somehow got out of the cage then made a deliberate effort to get into Holly's cage and ripped her apart in her own home. She could have just stayed running around on the floor, there was plenty of room for her there, she didn't need to purposefully go into another cage and do what she did.

[CPalmer]

I don't think a hamster would deliberately seek out another, try not to hold it against your Campbell. I don't think she had any intentions against Holly. Maybe she was looking for a warm place and maybe could smell food and water in Hollys cage. What ever happened. It was an accident. Your Campbell (Who i'm assuming has a name) is not a criminal, or a murderer. Nor are you.

Please don't isolate or alienate your Campbell. She may well be hurt too and certainly stressed. Holly may have bitten or clawed her in defence.

It was an accident, not a premeditated attack.

Grieve for Holly, but please don't abandon your Campbell.

Play well Holly x

[Silver]

(((((((((QOTHT)))))))))))))

Please please forgive yourself. It was an accident not an on purpose. I know how much you love every single one of your baby's & you are a good hamster mum.

Never think Holly's dose not know how much you loved her, because she knew that every single day she was with you, she will of taken your love with her.

You hold all the lovely memories of sweet holly in your heart, she will always be with you.

Holly I know you are fit & well again now & I also know you love your mum. You play well at the bridge & celebrate the life you had here as you go onto your next journey

xxx

[Queen Of The High Teas]

She did seek her out deliberately, she deliberately got into the cage, maybe she did only go in for the food and water, but she could have had that, then left Holly alone. A little hybrid dwarf I once had got out of her cage and managed to get into my white mouse's tank, I found them curled up asleep together contentedly. My syrians once managed to open each other's cages thanks to an under-sight in the design, they didn't harm each other either. They didn't rip the other apart like some savage beast.

Yes my Campbell has a name, but as I never got around to introducing her, as I've not been here for weeks due to work, nobody would know who on earth I was referring to.

I'm certainly not keeping her, I won't keep an animal that has killed one of my other pets in such a horrific manner. She has crossed a line that can't be uncrossed. I'll never see her the same way again anyway, so there's no point in me keeping her. I'm so sickened by what she's done I can't even look at her.

[Teddy001]

I can understand your feelings. I know nothing will bring your Holly back.. But I did want to mention this, as morbid as this may sound. In the wild, and instinctively, hamsters may dispose of an deceased hamster- the reason being, it's instincts, that an deceased hamster may draw attention to other animals, thus they become prey. That could have been the case with your hamsters. One sadly passed, and the injuries you see on Holly was an aftermath. I'm so sorry this happened, and can't imagine the pain your feeling, rehoming your Campbell may be best, but please consider hamsters natural instincts, which they can not be blamed for. Xx

[Colby and the Dwarfs]

First and foremost, I'm so sorry for your loss. Death is hard....especially when it isn't expected. Especially when you blame it on yourself. Trust me, I know this. Don't blame yourself. It puts salt on the wound.

I've had a lot of Campbell's. I don't have right now any since...well you probably know what happened. But, in all those years where I had so many, let me tell you, Campbell's are the smartest, most creative species. They are the border collies of the hamster world. They get bored. So, they escape, to find something new.

They aren't aggressive. I've seen them fight, they don't seek fights. Ever. They fight when they absolutely think they have to.

Please don't rehome your campbell. You know she's better off with you. You can't put all this blame on her. It's not her fault. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault.

[Baby Grrr]

I shouldn't be writing this. I so wish I wasn't writing this. Today my little pied girl has gone to the Bridge, and she shouldn't have. Whilst cleaning out this afternoon, I was horrified to discover my campbell had somehow escaped out of her cage, and somehow got into Holly's. Upon removing the campbell, I began removing the stuff out of Holly's cage, and there, lying in the bedding was her broken little body. That campbell has killed my beautiful little Roborovski. Holly was 28 months old, but looked and acted as if she were only about 6 months old. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her, she looked as though she had months and months left. And now she's gone. I'm distraught at what's happened, I feel so guilty and I pray she didn't suffer. The campbell has made such a mess of her I can't even look at my poor girl before burying her.

Holly, I'm so so sorry. I failed to protect you, and you've paid the price. You were a beautiful gentle girl, you did not deserve to have your life cut short with such a wicked end. Run and play free by the Bridge with Ivy, nothing else can hurt you now. I can't even kiss you goodbye, but know that I loved you so much and I will never forget you. Night night sweetheart xxx

http://i1272.photobucket.com/albums/y393/DarkWillow1630/IMG_4107_zps9a8d6298.jpg

http://i1272.photobucket.com/albums/y393/DarkWillow1630/IMG_3561_zps5876ae24.jpg

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I am so sorry for loss that was really terrible.

[DrKMcK]

Hello QOTHT. :-( I am so sorry to learn of this awful episode. After reading all the posts I have to say this. You are devastated by Holly's loss in a truly awful manner. It's so bad that you can't stand the thought of keeping the Campbell's hammy. I definitely can understand that. Deliberate or not, it doesn't change what you are feeling. Do one thing though. Give the hammy 1 week. See if you feel the same way about keeping her. If so, then I say it's better to rehome the hammy as it will never be truly loved by you after this experience. It wouldn't be fair to the Campbell's if every time you look at it, you are seeing Holly. When bad things happen it is never a good idea to make snap decisions. You need to give it a little time and see what you think is best. Poor Holly. What a dreadful thing to happen. Again, I am so sorry. Run free at the bridge little girl. :-(

[Skeever]

Thats great advise...I'd second that motion. Awful thoughts are to be expected, so letting the mind clear just a bit makes for better decisions.... :(

[Queen Of The High Teas]

Thank you for the kind words:).

I have now found a home for the Campbell. She is going to a lovely person and a wonderful home where I know she will be well cared for. I just could not keep her after what she did. I'd never be able to overlook it, nor love her properly, and she'd be a constant reminder of what happened. She is only 12 weeks old, she would have a long time to be stuck with someone who was only keeping her out of duty, not because they wanted to. That wouldn't be fair on me or her. She's young enough to adapt to a new owner easily, but I will never adapt to accepting what she did. Others may be able to do that, but I can't, I'd resent her forever and never look at her in the same light again. So for her own best interests and mine, she will be going to her new home on Tuesday, and I know that is extremely soon, but it is the only day I could do. Some things just don't sit right with me. Keeping an animal that has killed another of my pets in such a horrific way is one of them.

[DrKMcK]

This may be for the best QOTHT. The situation is so sad. But the little Campbell will be in a home where she can start over. You have made sure she will be safe and loved. No one can do any better than that. Again, I am so sorry about poor Holly. :-(

[jenny_]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! Please don't blame yourself, it was an accident, and accidents happen, it could have happened to anybody who owns several hammies!! Holly, may you rest in peace and play well at the Bridge! xxx

[CPalmer]

I'm glad to read you've found your Campbell a loving home.

[Teddy001]

Happy to hear your Campbell's going to a loving home:). What a sad thing to have happened, though.. My thoughts are with you , and hope you heal gently.

[Skeever]

Sounds like you made the right choice :) Glad it worked out

[Silver]

Good for you QOTHT's

Well done on finding a great home for the Campbell

xxx

[Thin Lizzy]

l saw your post and I want to firstly send my condolences about holly, 2nd it was a tragic accident and you did not fail her, sometimes these things happen and we can't fix it but please do not blame yourself.

[Skyblue2001]

So sorry for your unfortunate loss but please do not blame yourself,it happens sometimes.

[Oshaamacco]

Hello QOTHT. :-( I am so sorry to learn of this awful episode. After reading all the posts I have to say this. You are devastated by Holly's loss in a truly awful manner. It's so bad that you can't stand the thought of keeping the Campbell's hammy. I definitely can understand that. Deliberate or not, it doesn't change what you are feeling. Do one thing though. Give the hammy 1 week. See if you feel the same way about keeping her. If so, then I say it's better to rehome the hammy as it will never be truly loved by you after this experience. It wouldn't be fair to the Campbell's if every time you look at it, you are seeing Holly. When bad things happen it is never a good idea to make snap decisions. You need to give it a little time and see what you think is best. Poor Holly. What a dreadful thing to happen. Again, I am so sorry. Run free at the bridge little girl. :-(

I have to agree. If you truly feel this way about Campbell, then you're better off giving her a new loving home. The anger and sadness will remain and will remind you of your painful memories. She might be better off in a single home where she's the center of attention. This way, you both get your space. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, and I can almost feel the pain coming through your words. It is a very devastating moment and event, but be strong for little Holly! She follows you around, you know?! A little ghostly loving hamster!

[Pebbles82]

I hope you are feeling better. Sometimes what we imagine is worse than something actually is. Our human feelings rationalize things in a certain way. Lovely Holly died - how she died is something that is hard to understand - dying of a terrible illness can also be awful and long and drawn out. But she is resting in peace now and I think you did the right thing giving away your Campbell - I would probably have done the same. Heartfelt thoughts for you. Onward and upwards now....