gutterglitterxx
05-17-2013, 01:12 PM
I'm not sure I'm even going to be able to finish this, but I'm going to give it a shot. Because I feel like my precious girl needs to be acknowledged in all her amazing glory. I apologize for the length in advance.
My beautiful baby, Cheeto, was put to sleep on Tuesday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, whether it was a broken back or something related to her pyo diagnosis a couple months back. Truth be told, it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that she is gone and my heart is broken.
Cheeto was the most amazing hamster. I remember the day I got her... I had already tentatively picked out a different hamster, a boy actually. But I asked the man at the shop if I could see the ones that were hiding before I left. At that moment this absolutely gorgeous girl with the most beautiful orangey spots emerged from her hidey hole. She came right over to the front and she was bright eyed and stunning. It was love at first sight and I knew she had to be mine. I stared at her for hours that first day, she was just so pretty and full of life. I loved watching her explore her new home which she seemed in awe of.
In the days, weeks, and months that followed she wrapped me right around her little paw. She was immediately the friendliest girl and I grew attached to her right away. She was always willing to play, never even thought about biting or nipping, and was so curious and inquisitive from day one. She had this amazing energy about her and she made me thrilled to see her each and every day. Due to health issues, I spend a lot of time by myself at home so seeing her emerge from her nest for the night was the highlight of my day. She was my best little furry friend.
We had a scare in September of 2012 when she developed a tumor on her right front paw. I was terrified that my little princess was going to be diagnosed with cancer but luckily, after a couple of misdiagnoses first, it was discovered to be a benign tumor which was removed. She was a trooper all the way through and recovered quickly. You never would have known she had been through so much. Even a couple months later, when the same type of tumor appeared on her other front paw, she fought like a champion and recovered almost immediately. Her little paws were stunning until the day I lost her.
In March of 2013, after noticing some excessive drinking and peeing, she was diagnosed with pyometra. I'm not sure if the vet wasn't terribly knowledgeable (he wasn't my usual vet) or what the case was but he sent her home on antibiotics, very much giving the impression that those alone should have been enough to cure her. I asked about spaying her, which he was very much against due to her age and the fact that the disease was showing signs of being in her blood stream. After some initial hesitation, she finished her antibiotics like the good girl she always was. She never once seemed sick, other than the peeing and drinking. She remained hungry, playful, gorgeous, and active throughout the remainder of her life. During a visit for GiGi with my regular vet, we spoke about Cheeto and her condition. My regular vet felt that what I was describing did not sound like pyometra at all, since she was seemingly healthy. I was told to keep an eye on her and bring her in if she began exhibiting further symptoms.
She never did. She was a happy hamster until the day I lost her. I'd be lying if I said I don't feel somewhat responsible for whatever may have happened. Which is a tremendous weight on my shoulders. But the truth is, I don't know what happened.
I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed on Monday. Before I left for surgery, I had her out with me for cuddles and she was perfectly fine. When I came home that evening, she came out and greeted me. She kept me company for a while on Monday evening while the anesthesia wore off and the Percocet kicked in. She was active, playing, eating, running, climbing. There was absolutely no indication that anything was wrong. If there had been, I would have been at the vet's office or animal hospital immediately- swollen face and all. I didn't sleep well Monday night, because of the pain in my mouth. So I know that she was up and about all night, just as she always was. It wasn't until almost 7am Tuesday morning that I went to sleep for a length of time, maybe 4 hours. And on Tuesday afternoon I heard her emerge from her nest and immediately knew something wasn't right. I heard her moving slowly and she was taking a different route across her cage floor then she normally would. I ran over to her and saw her poor little back legs dragging behind her.
I was devastated. I collapsed into hysterical tears. Hysterical, painful tears, crying through intense pain in my mouth. In my heart, I knew this was going to be it for her and my heart was shattering. I gently lifted her to my chest and cried with her in my arms. She still looked as beautiful as she always had and almost seemed to be looking at me like "What's the matter with you, mummy?" I eventually brought her to a local emergency vet since my regular vet was not available. I cried some more in the waiting room while waiting for them to examine her. When the vet emerged, she told me what I already knew- that the kindest thing would be to let her go.
I held her for a long time. I told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was. Sorry that I couldn't save her, sorry that I hadn't been able to do more for her, sorry that I wasn't even completely sure what had happened to her. I cried what seemed like hundreds of tears, many of which had wet her fur and remained on her when I finally handed her over to the vet tech. She fell asleep for a few moments in the crook of my arm, and I stroked her for what seemed like forever. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Cheeto, I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love a hamster. I have loved all my girls and still love the ones I have now, but you were so very special to mummy. I felt closer to you than anything and it's nearly impossible to think I will ever feel the same way again. I hope that I was able to make you feel my love throughout your life and I hope that your time with me was happy. All I ever wanted was to give you the best life I possibly could and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me a reason to smile every single day. Even when you felt like the only good thing in my life. I don't really know what I believe about the afterlife and things like that but I hope that wherever you are, you are healthy and happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. I love you, Cheeto, from the bottom of my heart. The paw prints you have left on my soul will never be duplicated. You really were one of a kind and I am so grateful that you were a part of my life. I just wish it could have been for longer. Rest in peace, baby girl.
Some of my favorite pictures...
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/74e599b0e903f1629dfd83bfe36ca65a_zps2db6d817.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/275c5da481958589fba108d3601d329b_zps27363ead.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/9c4b8e6dbbaa840359aa272857c763c9_zpsfeedb3ea.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/6146ffa53f7d5d84fd33998f2d326223_zpsa52ddf70.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/364681bb6493cb5bc2efc1e8bb9c509d_zps5b0d9f65.jpg
And the last photo I ever took of her, last Friday...
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/952b6adf9f1416b7461564cf03697c09_zpsee36f4e1.jpg
I will miss you forever, Miss Cheeto. Sleep tight, until we meet again. xxxx
My beautiful baby, Cheeto, was put to sleep on Tuesday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, whether it was a broken back or something related to her pyo diagnosis a couple months back. Truth be told, it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that she is gone and my heart is broken.
Cheeto was the most amazing hamster. I remember the day I got her... I had already tentatively picked out a different hamster, a boy actually. But I asked the man at the shop if I could see the ones that were hiding before I left. At that moment this absolutely gorgeous girl with the most beautiful orangey spots emerged from her hidey hole. She came right over to the front and she was bright eyed and stunning. It was love at first sight and I knew she had to be mine. I stared at her for hours that first day, she was just so pretty and full of life. I loved watching her explore her new home which she seemed in awe of.
In the days, weeks, and months that followed she wrapped me right around her little paw. She was immediately the friendliest girl and I grew attached to her right away. She was always willing to play, never even thought about biting or nipping, and was so curious and inquisitive from day one. She had this amazing energy about her and she made me thrilled to see her each and every day. Due to health issues, I spend a lot of time by myself at home so seeing her emerge from her nest for the night was the highlight of my day. She was my best little furry friend.
We had a scare in September of 2012 when she developed a tumor on her right front paw. I was terrified that my little princess was going to be diagnosed with cancer but luckily, after a couple of misdiagnoses first, it was discovered to be a benign tumor which was removed. She was a trooper all the way through and recovered quickly. You never would have known she had been through so much. Even a couple months later, when the same type of tumor appeared on her other front paw, she fought like a champion and recovered almost immediately. Her little paws were stunning until the day I lost her.
In March of 2013, after noticing some excessive drinking and peeing, she was diagnosed with pyometra. I'm not sure if the vet wasn't terribly knowledgeable (he wasn't my usual vet) or what the case was but he sent her home on antibiotics, very much giving the impression that those alone should have been enough to cure her. I asked about spaying her, which he was very much against due to her age and the fact that the disease was showing signs of being in her blood stream. After some initial hesitation, she finished her antibiotics like the good girl she always was. She never once seemed sick, other than the peeing and drinking. She remained hungry, playful, gorgeous, and active throughout the remainder of her life. During a visit for GiGi with my regular vet, we spoke about Cheeto and her condition. My regular vet felt that what I was describing did not sound like pyometra at all, since she was seemingly healthy. I was told to keep an eye on her and bring her in if she began exhibiting further symptoms.
She never did. She was a happy hamster until the day I lost her. I'd be lying if I said I don't feel somewhat responsible for whatever may have happened. Which is a tremendous weight on my shoulders. But the truth is, I don't know what happened.
I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed on Monday. Before I left for surgery, I had her out with me for cuddles and she was perfectly fine. When I came home that evening, she came out and greeted me. She kept me company for a while on Monday evening while the anesthesia wore off and the Percocet kicked in. She was active, playing, eating, running, climbing. There was absolutely no indication that anything was wrong. If there had been, I would have been at the vet's office or animal hospital immediately- swollen face and all. I didn't sleep well Monday night, because of the pain in my mouth. So I know that she was up and about all night, just as she always was. It wasn't until almost 7am Tuesday morning that I went to sleep for a length of time, maybe 4 hours. And on Tuesday afternoon I heard her emerge from her nest and immediately knew something wasn't right. I heard her moving slowly and she was taking a different route across her cage floor then she normally would. I ran over to her and saw her poor little back legs dragging behind her.
I was devastated. I collapsed into hysterical tears. Hysterical, painful tears, crying through intense pain in my mouth. In my heart, I knew this was going to be it for her and my heart was shattering. I gently lifted her to my chest and cried with her in my arms. She still looked as beautiful as she always had and almost seemed to be looking at me like "What's the matter with you, mummy?" I eventually brought her to a local emergency vet since my regular vet was not available. I cried some more in the waiting room while waiting for them to examine her. When the vet emerged, she told me what I already knew- that the kindest thing would be to let her go.
I held her for a long time. I told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was. Sorry that I couldn't save her, sorry that I hadn't been able to do more for her, sorry that I wasn't even completely sure what had happened to her. I cried what seemed like hundreds of tears, many of which had wet her fur and remained on her when I finally handed her over to the vet tech. She fell asleep for a few moments in the crook of my arm, and I stroked her for what seemed like forever. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Cheeto, I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love a hamster. I have loved all my girls and still love the ones I have now, but you were so very special to mummy. I felt closer to you than anything and it's nearly impossible to think I will ever feel the same way again. I hope that I was able to make you feel my love throughout your life and I hope that your time with me was happy. All I ever wanted was to give you the best life I possibly could and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me a reason to smile every single day. Even when you felt like the only good thing in my life. I don't really know what I believe about the afterlife and things like that but I hope that wherever you are, you are healthy and happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. I love you, Cheeto, from the bottom of my heart. The paw prints you have left on my soul will never be duplicated. You really were one of a kind and I am so grateful that you were a part of my life. I just wish it could have been for longer. Rest in peace, baby girl.
Some of my favorite pictures...
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/74e599b0e903f1629dfd83bfe36ca65a_zps2db6d817.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/275c5da481958589fba108d3601d329b_zps27363ead.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/9c4b8e6dbbaa840359aa272857c763c9_zpsfeedb3ea.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/6146ffa53f7d5d84fd33998f2d326223_zpsa52ddf70.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/364681bb6493cb5bc2efc1e8bb9c509d_zps5b0d9f65.jpg
And the last photo I ever took of her, last Friday...
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b352/gutterglitterxx/952b6adf9f1416b7461564cf03697c09_zpsee36f4e1.jpg
I will miss you forever, Miss Cheeto. Sleep tight, until we meet again. xxxx