GemmasMom
08-30-2012, 08:11 PM
I came home from work tonight and found my Cyleigh sleeping silently in the corner of her play bin. I knew something was wrong when she didn't pop up from wherever she was, either roaming her cage or relaxing/sleeping in the top of her cage or in her nest in her play bin. I found her in the corner sleeping silently and cozily. She was very cold and firm, so I knew that she had crossed the rainbow bridge sometime this evening while I was gone. I hope the picture attached below doesn't upset anyone... I took it because she looked just like she was sleeping... so peaceful, that I just wanted to remind myself of that.
Many of you have been there from the time I first saw her lumps a few months ago. I haven't been on here because I just didn't want to face it... that they had gotten larger. The larger one was larger than a grape, and the smaller one was about the size of a marble. I could tell that she wished she could do more, but she was my tough and brave girl, never wanting to worry her mommy. Just last night, she was running around the floor at the new house, having the time of her life. I wish I could have been with her as she crossed the bridge... that's my only regret... so, here's what I want Cyleigh to know...
Dear Cy,
You were the first ham out of everyone that I could tell apart from the others... how? Because you LOVED to BITE! You wouldn't bite hard... just enough to let mommy know that you were CYLEIGH and not the others. Mommy never knew if you were the mom or one of the daughters, but in my heart, I know you were the mom of Chloe, Callie, Carley, and Caylee. And if mommy is right, you made some beautiful girls. They are all so sweet and loving, and they definitely loved you. They groomed you and your lumps so much, that mommy had to separate you all because you did not like it and you started fighting back. I hope that you understand why mommy had to separate you. I hoped you liked being spoiled with your own cage and play bin and cucumbers that you could have all to yourself!!!!!!! Even then, mommy would fill up your giant bowl of food and cucumbers and come an hour later to find you had hoarded all of the "good" pieces of the mix. Every night, mommy cuts cucumbers for you and the girls, and I cut a thick slice of cucumbers, take off the skin, dice it up, and give you 1/3 of the cucumber and the other 4 girls shared 2/3 of it. And by the next day, you woudl have (usually) eaten ALL of your cucumber when the other girls would only usually eat half of theirs :) My silly silly girl.
It broke my heart the day that I first noticed your lumps. Then they got bigger and I finally broke down and took you to the vet. It scared me very much, but he gave us some antibiotics and said that maybe it will get you better, but maybe not. Mommy will never forget the struggles we went through for you to take your medicine. You just would NOT open your little mouth for anything! You wanted to take your medicine your own way, and when mommy finally found out that you would only take your medicine if you were in your cage, I was SO relieved that my little girl was finally taking what she needed to stay healthy. I was very hopeful that the medicine would work, but in my heart, I didn't think that it would. In fact, your lumps kept getting bigger. It was so painful to see my little girl's running be limited and slowed down. But, after lots of tears, mommy decided not to get the surgery for you. You were still very happy and active, and I couldn't bear for the chance to see something happen to you from the surgery that I couldn't take back.
One day, mommy noticed a little bit of blood on your bedding, then saw some coming from inside you. Your bigger lump had gotten so big that it had overtaken your hole, and I think ripped it. I was very worried, but kept giving you the medicine so that you would not get an infection. I knew that you would be tough enough to get through it. I did not give up on you, and you made it through that! The bleeding stopped after a few days, and even through all that, you were still my same old Cyleigh. It's been a few months since then, and you have stayed true to yourself. Never once becoming lazy when you could have because of your lumps. You still ran as much as your lumps would allow, and were always ready to play when mommy came in each night to give you more cucumber, give you your medicine, and sunflower seeds as your treat for being a good girl.
Mommy is VERY glad you came into my life 5 months ago, and I wouldn't trade those precious 5 months for anything. You helped me heal from Gemma's passing. Even though I thought I was adopting and rescuing you, you all rescued me! Mommy's biggest regret was not being there with you as you crossed over the bridge. I could have just called in sick tonight. I only missed your crossing by a few hours. I know it. I hope you know that even though mommy wasn't there, that I still love you. I hope that you went in your sleep and that you didn't even know that you went. I don't want you to think for one last second that you missed your last chance for a nibble at mommy's fingers or your cucumber snack. You looked so peaceful, just like you were sleeping. You are now sleeping forever in the flowerbed of the new house, right outside the window to your daughters' cage. Watch over them... keep them safe... don't let them bicker. I know they miss you too and have for awhile now. Mommy is just starting to miss my little Cy and I know how much that hurts. I'll miss our play sessions that come way later at night than they should, when mommy should be sleeping. You were just a night owl and needed someone to play with. I'll miss your nibbles that let mommy know that you are CYLEIGH... even though I already knew it since you had your own cage.... I'll miss seeing you stick out your little tongue to take your medicine every night... I'll miss everything about you, Cyleigh Boo.
I know that now your lumps are gone and you can run as fast as your little legs can carry you....
Until I see you again...
Love always,
your mommy xxxooo
Many of you have been there from the time I first saw her lumps a few months ago. I haven't been on here because I just didn't want to face it... that they had gotten larger. The larger one was larger than a grape, and the smaller one was about the size of a marble. I could tell that she wished she could do more, but she was my tough and brave girl, never wanting to worry her mommy. Just last night, she was running around the floor at the new house, having the time of her life. I wish I could have been with her as she crossed the bridge... that's my only regret... so, here's what I want Cyleigh to know...
Dear Cy,
You were the first ham out of everyone that I could tell apart from the others... how? Because you LOVED to BITE! You wouldn't bite hard... just enough to let mommy know that you were CYLEIGH and not the others. Mommy never knew if you were the mom or one of the daughters, but in my heart, I know you were the mom of Chloe, Callie, Carley, and Caylee. And if mommy is right, you made some beautiful girls. They are all so sweet and loving, and they definitely loved you. They groomed you and your lumps so much, that mommy had to separate you all because you did not like it and you started fighting back. I hope that you understand why mommy had to separate you. I hoped you liked being spoiled with your own cage and play bin and cucumbers that you could have all to yourself!!!!!!! Even then, mommy would fill up your giant bowl of food and cucumbers and come an hour later to find you had hoarded all of the "good" pieces of the mix. Every night, mommy cuts cucumbers for you and the girls, and I cut a thick slice of cucumbers, take off the skin, dice it up, and give you 1/3 of the cucumber and the other 4 girls shared 2/3 of it. And by the next day, you woudl have (usually) eaten ALL of your cucumber when the other girls would only usually eat half of theirs :) My silly silly girl.
It broke my heart the day that I first noticed your lumps. Then they got bigger and I finally broke down and took you to the vet. It scared me very much, but he gave us some antibiotics and said that maybe it will get you better, but maybe not. Mommy will never forget the struggles we went through for you to take your medicine. You just would NOT open your little mouth for anything! You wanted to take your medicine your own way, and when mommy finally found out that you would only take your medicine if you were in your cage, I was SO relieved that my little girl was finally taking what she needed to stay healthy. I was very hopeful that the medicine would work, but in my heart, I didn't think that it would. In fact, your lumps kept getting bigger. It was so painful to see my little girl's running be limited and slowed down. But, after lots of tears, mommy decided not to get the surgery for you. You were still very happy and active, and I couldn't bear for the chance to see something happen to you from the surgery that I couldn't take back.
One day, mommy noticed a little bit of blood on your bedding, then saw some coming from inside you. Your bigger lump had gotten so big that it had overtaken your hole, and I think ripped it. I was very worried, but kept giving you the medicine so that you would not get an infection. I knew that you would be tough enough to get through it. I did not give up on you, and you made it through that! The bleeding stopped after a few days, and even through all that, you were still my same old Cyleigh. It's been a few months since then, and you have stayed true to yourself. Never once becoming lazy when you could have because of your lumps. You still ran as much as your lumps would allow, and were always ready to play when mommy came in each night to give you more cucumber, give you your medicine, and sunflower seeds as your treat for being a good girl.
Mommy is VERY glad you came into my life 5 months ago, and I wouldn't trade those precious 5 months for anything. You helped me heal from Gemma's passing. Even though I thought I was adopting and rescuing you, you all rescued me! Mommy's biggest regret was not being there with you as you crossed over the bridge. I could have just called in sick tonight. I only missed your crossing by a few hours. I know it. I hope you know that even though mommy wasn't there, that I still love you. I hope that you went in your sleep and that you didn't even know that you went. I don't want you to think for one last second that you missed your last chance for a nibble at mommy's fingers or your cucumber snack. You looked so peaceful, just like you were sleeping. You are now sleeping forever in the flowerbed of the new house, right outside the window to your daughters' cage. Watch over them... keep them safe... don't let them bicker. I know they miss you too and have for awhile now. Mommy is just starting to miss my little Cy and I know how much that hurts. I'll miss our play sessions that come way later at night than they should, when mommy should be sleeping. You were just a night owl and needed someone to play with. I'll miss your nibbles that let mommy know that you are CYLEIGH... even though I already knew it since you had your own cage.... I'll miss seeing you stick out your little tongue to take your medicine every night... I'll miss everything about you, Cyleigh Boo.
I know that now your lumps are gone and you can run as fast as your little legs can carry you....
Until I see you again...
Love always,
your mommy xxxooo