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Pebbles82 · 09-09-2020, 02:44 PM

My OH put his foot down at two hamsters. I occasionally dither about getting a third but wouldn’t do it without persuading him!

It is the kind of thing you do need to agree on really. Having said that sometimes people say no more but come round to the idea with some reasonable explanation. My OH’s biggest objection to more than two is the space for cages and space needed for other things - which we also need as a family. However if I come up with a solution for a third cage in another room I will absolutely say - I want to adopt this hamster and can fit the cage here. The only argument that would be accepted though is that one of the current two is getting old and may not be around in a few months time.

Your situation is slightly different. You already have four and would want to get another one if one passes. To still have four. Your partner is preferring to keep it down to three.

It means compromise somewhere. I think it would be seen as disrespectful if you just got another one when he has said no more. But it wouldn’t be if you have a conversation about it and explain why you still want to have four and both listen to each other’s points of view and see if you can reach agreement.

Believe me we have had some differences of opinion where it has ended up sitting down with a pen and paper and writing out our reasons and swapping them! Someone has to give in. Ie someone has to compromise. But there can be a “deal”. If you say - ok if I have four hamsters I accept you keeping your bike in the kitchen until we get a shed (not a good example but you get what I mean). Or I accept you getting the new bike you want. Or you could say ok I accept I will keep it to three hamsters only if you will agree to do/not do xyz (something that bugs you!)

09-09-2020, 02:44 PM
Pebbles82 Hamster Antics Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 23,533	Re: Disrespectful? My OH put his foot down at two hamsters. I occasionally dither about getting a third but wouldn’t do it without persuading him! It is the kind of thing you do need to agree on really. Having said that sometimes people say no more but come round to the idea with some reasonable explanation. My OH’s biggest objection to more than two is the space for cages and space needed for other things - which we also need as a family. However if I come up with a solution for a third cage in another room I will absolutely say - I want to adopt this hamster and can fit the cage here. The only argument that would be accepted though is that one of the current two is getting old and may not be around in a few months time. Your situation is slightly different. You already have four and would want to get another one if one passes. To still have four. Your partner is preferring to keep it down to three. It means compromise somewhere. I think it would be seen as disrespectful if you just got another one when he has said no more. But it wouldn’t be if you have a conversation about it and explain why you still want to have four and both listen to each other’s points of view and see if you can reach agreement. Believe me we have had some differences of opinion where it has ended up sitting down with a pen and paper and writing out our reasons and swapping them! Someone has to give in. Ie someone has to compromise. But there can be a “deal”. If you say - ok if I have four hamsters I accept you keeping your bike in the kitchen until we get a shed (not a good example but you get what I mean). Or I accept you getting the new bike you want. Or you could say ok I accept I will keep it to three hamsters only if you will agree to do/not do xyz (something that bugs you!)