I can hardly believe that I am posting this here. My eyes are so swollen with tears that I can hardly see what I am typing, I have a huge lump in my throat, and my emotions are so numb with sadness and grief.
Yesterday, Eros was extremely determined to play almost all day and most of the night. Every time I placed her back into her cage, she moved to the area of her cage where she could be the closest to me possible and just stared at me with her large, endearing eyes. Late in the evening, I noticed that she seemed perfectly fine but her breathing began to seem a bit more labored as if she was panting. I immediately took her out of the cage again and began giving her a thorough health check and her breathing became normal again. She acted like her extremely playful, loving self and wanted to get even more cuddles, kisses, and mealworms (of course). After having another long out of the cage playtime and cuddling kissy session, I was reassured that Eros was doing absolutely fine now and decided to place her in her cozy nest. She immediately came out and walked directly to the corner of her cage closest to where I usually sit on the sofa and looked up at me again with those loving eyes of hers. I told her that I love her with all of my heart and I could never imagine my life without her being in it, gave her another kiss on the top of her head, and giggled telling her that she really needed to get some rest so we could have another grand adventure and playtime tomorrow. I decided to go to bed since I felt sure that all was well with my Baby Bee now and I was extremely exhausted after the scare that evening and all the other things that are going on in my life currently. At approximately 5 A.M. on Thursday, November 29, I woke up from a very terrible nightmare that my precious Eros had passed away and she was calling out to me. I immediately rushed out of bed, ran to the other room where her cage is, and turned on the lights. She was sleeping so peacefully on the paper towel that had my scent on it that she used as her comfort, security blankie. The paper towel was resting on top of her most treasured Rainbow Bendy Bridge where she always begged for extra treats, playtimes, cuddles, etc. When I called out to her, she was completely unresponsive. At that point, my heart utterly sank and I felt a huge lump in my throat as I burst into tears and reached for my precious, little, baby fluffy. She was slightly cool to the touch, and I heartbreakingly could tell that she must have actually just gained her angel wings a short time earlier. I cuddled with her, kissed her, and told her how much I love and miss her. My mum and a few of my family members gave her kisses and petted her, and we made her paw print impressions as a special and treasured keepsake for the tiny paws that always had me totally wrapped around them from the moment I laid eyes on my precious Baby Bee. I placed a few lovely red roses on her from one of her favorite rose bushes right outside of my house that was surprisingly in full bloom although it is very cold outside right now. Her final resting place is under my family's red azalea bush.
To my cherished and beloved Eros, I wrote this love letter to you to wrap and keep you warm in for your forever sleep. I wanted you to feel my constant love cuddling you so you will always remember that you are so deeply loved and constantly remembered. I can't even grasp saying my final goodbyes to you so I choose to say "until we are together again forever, my little spirited Baby Bee". I will always keep your paw prints in my heart, and I will treasure all the magnificent and fun-filled, precious times that we shared with one another. Thank you for coming into my life and filling it with immeasurable love, happiness, and laughter. I will try my very best to keep smiling and remembering all of the good times only since I know you would want that, but I must admit that I can't stop crying and missing you more than words could ever express. You would have been celebrating your 2nd birthday in approximately five weeks and your 2-year Adoption/gotcha Day on February 9th, but sadly you were called to the bridge much too soon. The Rainbow Bridge gained another amazing, heart-ham and the world is a much sadder and lonelier place without you in it, Eros. Please give our precious Snickers and all of the beloved fluffs up at the bridge a bunch of whisker kisses, and please have lots of grand adventures and tons and tons of fun with all of your dear friends who have passed before you.
When my mum, my sister, and I went to one of my mum's doctor's appointments, I was totally overwhelmed with deep emotions and was truly touched because we were blessed with seeing the most glorious, breathtaking, male American bald eagle ever. It swiftly swooped down from high in the sky as if it was on an urgent mission from above and flew right across our view. Then, it gracefully found a perching spot on top of one of the tall trees right by the highway and cocked its head down at us. It gave us eye contact and, as we drove by slowly, it continued to turn its head to stare at us as we passed. I immediately told my family that it must have been a sign from Eros that she is watching over us from the Rainbow Bridge and that she has now arrived safely there. I had to laugh as I thought of Eros choosing a grand American bald eagle to be her personal messenger, but I felt the warmness in my heart as I truly know in my heart that she did just that.