[LokiWolf]

He is gone! My Matrim is dead! He just got worse and worse on the car ride over. He was too far gone to be saved and had to be put to sleep. They weren't sure what did it, all they know was he had diarrhea, a swollen tail, and he was skinny, you could really feel his ribs. They gave me some time with him to say goodbye. Sadly mom wouldn't let me take him home to bury, she thought it would be best to leave him with them. I think he was holding out for me to notice him and get him help to pass on...

I've only had a month with him, it was far too short. I feel so hollow inside, can't stop crying, and I keep thinking 'What if I had noticed sooner? Could I have saved him?' It's all so much and yet I know it'll be so much worse when Charlotte dies. I just want to go under the covers and cry until I can't anymore and not come out. I'll post a memorial when I feel better.